Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 01-12-2010, 15:49   #136
Registered User

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Thunder Bay Ontario Canada
Boat: 1995 Beneteau Oceanis 281
Posts: 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by hummingway View Post
I don't understand the urge to circumnavigate. I love sailing and the rest of it but have no urge to circumnavigate and don't really understand where that urge comes from any more then I understand the urge to climb Mt. Everest. I guess I've never been big on chasing after some sort of carrot. When people without any experience cruising want to do it I'm baffled. What is the appeal? Why does some part of their brain light up at the thought of going around the world in a sailboat?

I hear things like this often and it drives me crazy, but " I Don't Understand" simply means "it's not my cup of tea" because if you have any passion or drive about anything at all then you must understand. Surely you don't expect the entire planet to have the same goals and dreams as you. Do you really not understand the appeal of the view from the peak of Everest or the satisfaction that would come from a circumnavigation? Personally neither of these are my goals, and neither is being the world yo-yo champion, but when I hear of someone making sacrifices to acheive their goals of any kind, it makes me proud of our race. And I need that because too often I am embarrassed for our race.

There is lot's here in this video to understand or not


Sorry for the rant and picking on you. I guess this time hearing that was my limit.
__________________

__________________
Waterborn is offline  
Old 01-12-2010, 16:00   #137
Registered User
 
Butler's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Los Angeles
Boat: Pearson 281
Posts: 678
Images: 18
Thanks folks. It's all on the table and I am pitching wildly back and forth between the "sod-off" and the "let's make a deal"... there's plenty of both here!

A few things setling out from everyone's comments:

I am determined to go. Selling/staying is not an option.

I ought to be ready to just take my chances and go. Maybe I'm not dealing with my own fears about making my own way... using my now substantial boat skills to get by. The temptation to indulge in the comfort of the steady retirement that she earned for herself is wrong and has already started to lead to problems. My first wife prides herself on taking care of her stay at home scientist husband but not many people are built that way these days.

If she knew she could get home easily enough (plane ticket in hand) and we could get to someplace warmer and cheaper it might make a difference
as would any confidence that I might be able to provide regarding my own ability to bring in some money .

I could throttle her about now but I do love her, she's a gas to be around, knows how to sail and really lights up on the water.

Again... Thanks all!!
__________________

__________________
Butler is offline  
Old 01-12-2010, 16:19   #138
Registered User
 
Butler's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Los Angeles
Boat: Pearson 281
Posts: 678
Images: 18
Osirissail..
Appreciate the perspective...
We were about to change the documentation for the boat so she would be half owner. This so she would be a full partner and most importantly that she would not lose the boat if something happened to me.
In terms of monitary investment... We are about even now though my investment in time is much much greater.
Irrespective that it was her decision to stop I would feel some moral obligation to help my grrl re-coup. My very best freind feels as others here do that it's "too bad" on her... I think she and others here are probably right but then I'm a bit of a sucker.
__________________
Butler is offline  
Old 01-12-2010, 17:26   #139
Moderator Emeritus
 
hummingway's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Gabriola Island & Victoria, British Columbia
Boat: Cooper 416 Honeysuckle
Posts: 6,933
Images: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by Waterborn View Post
I hear things like this often and it drives me crazy, but " I Don't Understand" simply means "it's not my cup of tea" because if you have any passion or drive about anything at all then you must understand. Surely you don't expect the entire planet to have the same goals and dreams as you. Do you really not understand the appeal of the view from the peak of Everest or the satisfaction that would come from a circumnavigation? Personally neither of these are my goals, and neither is being the world yo-yo champion, but when I hear of someone making sacrifices to acheive their goals of any kind, it makes me proud of our race. And I need that because too often I am embarrassed for our race.

There is lot's here in this video to understand or not


Sorry for the rant and picking on you. I guess this time hearing that was my limit.
No need to apologise. It was a question not a judgement. I was looking for responses. I understand passion. I've been a musician for over 40 years. I love to sail and in fact was out for 4 hours today despite cool temps and grey skies. I also love going cruising, I lived on my boat for aboout a year and still like taking off on trips. The part of I don't understand is why the goal of sailing around the world - circumnavigating? Especially amongst people who have never sailed. Where does the idea come from? Is it something you yourself wish to do? Are you doing it?
__________________
“We are the universe contemplating itself” - Carl Sagan

hummingway is offline  
Old 01-12-2010, 18:23   #140
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK/Portugal
Posts: 20,210
Images: 2
Send a message via Skype™ to boatman61
pirate

Quote:
Originally Posted by hummingway View Post
No need to apologise. It was a question not a judgement. I was looking for responses. I understand passion. I've been a musician for over 40 years. I love to sail and in fact was out for 4 hours today despite cool temps and grey skies. I also love going cruising, I lived on my boat for aboout a year and still like taking off on trips. The part of I don't understand is why the goal of sailing around the world - circumnavigating? Especially amongst people who have never sailed. Where does the idea come from? Is it something you yourself wish to do? Are you doing it?
I blame Hollywood and movies like Captain Ron, Jewel of the Nile, in fact any movie with white beaches and palm trees and hunky guys on boats with gorgeous women all over them... the average dude transfers himself in his head and BINGO...!!!
Thats me.... I can do that... piece of cake.. I'll sail forth and multiply...
Oh and Elvis Presly in the case of the "Baby Boomers.."
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is offline  
Old 01-12-2010, 19:11   #141
Registered User
 
DiverChick71's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Complicated
Boat: Fuji 45'
Posts: 237
Send a message via Yahoo to DiverChick71 Send a message via Skype™ to DiverChick71
Quote:
Originally Posted by hummingway View Post
No need to apologise. It was a question not a judgement. I was looking for responses. I understand passion. I've been a musician for over 40 years. I love to sail and in fact was out for 4 hours today despite cool temps and grey skies. I also love going cruising, I lived on my boat for aboout a year and still like taking off on trips. The part of I don't understand is why the goal of sailing around the world - circumnavigating? Especially amongst people who have never sailed. Where does the idea come from? Is it something you yourself wish to do? Are you doing it?

Well I think it has something to do with an age-old sense of wanting to be an explorer...wanting to see what other's went through seeing our world. Maybe? I don't know. I don't actually want to circumnavigate, am quite happy with the notion of sailing "about the world" rather than "around it."

I've read this thread with interest. I see myself in some of this...I'm a newbie...have been out sailing with friends, a lot of time on dive boats, liveaboards, etc, but no actual cruising experience. I am fairly certain I will love the lifestyle, but if I don't, I can just sell the boat, right? Nothing lost but some money..big deal. And some experience gained.

My motivation for wanting to cruise is that I absolutely love to see different people, places, and cultures. I love the water. I am fortunate enough to have a career that gives me loads of flexibility, and the ability to work in different places, and want to take advantage of that to the fullest. We only get one go around in this life! I've never regretted trying anything. (Ok well maybe those rides on top of the Stratosphere in Las Vegas...as I'm afraid of heights...not sure what the heck I was thinking that day.) I picked up (with the ex) and took my two kids to Costa Rica for two years...having never visited. Best experience of my life. Riding buses, kids went to bilingual schools. It completely changed their outlook. Even had a third kid while we were there! My kids remember it as some of the best years of their life, and it shaped their view of the world. (My daughters were 6 and 4 when we went, 8 and 6 upon return)

I have the same concerns about "small space". But I love my partner, he is my best friend, and we live together and work together already, and still want to spend our time off together. So I think that will resolve itself. His 25 pound Maine Coon cat, however...we're going to have to come to an understanding on berth space!! I don't know. Now I'm rambling on a personal diatribe. Most people here on CF are amazingly encouraging of new people getting into the lifestyle, and maybe that contributes to some newbies needing a "reality check." The blogs contribute, also. I've come across several sailing blogs, (MarkJ, yours was one I found on a random web search) Maybe this forum should just be a bit more negative.
__________________
DiverChick71 is offline  
Old 01-12-2010, 22:21   #142
Moderator Emeritus
 
hummingway's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Gabriola Island & Victoria, British Columbia
Boat: Cooper 416 Honeysuckle
Posts: 6,933
Images: 5
Quote:
Originally Posted by DiverChick71 View Post
I have the same concerns about "small space". But I love my partner, he is my best friend, and we live together and work together already, and still want to spend our time off together. So I think that will resolve itself. His 25 pound Maine Coon cat, however...we're going to have to come to an understanding on berth space!! I don't know. Now I'm rambling on a personal diatribe. Most people here on CF are amazingly encouraging of new people getting into the lifestyle, and maybe that contributes to some newbies needing a "reality check." The blogs contribute, also. I've come across several sailing blogs, (MarkJ, yours was one I found on a random web search) Maybe this forum should just be a bit more negative.
Hah, a little time cruising and you'll hate each other Negative enough?

Yes , sailing about the world, what ever portion pleases, is what makes sense to me as well.
__________________
“We are the universe contemplating itself” - Carl Sagan

hummingway is offline  
Old 02-12-2010, 06:54   #143
********* Emeritus
 
SaucySailoress's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 8,236
18 months to go...
__________________

SaucySailoress is offline  
Old 02-12-2010, 16:38   #144
Registered User
 
Butler's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Los Angeles
Boat: Pearson 281
Posts: 678
Images: 18
Wanted to say thanks to everybody again... very helpful.
Seems we are both getting jumpy as the time gets nearer. Your comments helped me understand that and approach the issue more constructively. We are back to work getting ready to go.
Did a tour of three local marinas looking for work today and found a brightwork gig which not only puts some money in my pocket but boosts our confidence as well.
I very much appreciate the perspective Boatman61. The "room on social security bitter over what might have been"(I parapharase) bit was a good little kick to the shins.
Hooray Saucy!!
__________________
Butler is offline  
Old 02-12-2010, 18:56   #145
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Texas
Boat: 1978 C.N.S.O Mikado 56
Posts: 25
I am someone who is along for the ride, my husband and I are jumping in this. He has experience, I currently have none. But I am wanting to learn, in fact I get offended when the certain people keep insisting my job will be to lounge around and look good for my husband while HE sails...
Although I will admit I am worried that it won't work out for us... I have no experience. But I am trying to be more positive than negative.
__________________
http://ketchawave.blogspot.com/
Pixistix is offline  
Old 02-12-2010, 19:12   #146
Senior Cruiser
 
osirissail's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: A real life Zombie from FL
Boat: Gulfstar 53 - Osiris
Posts: 5,416
Images: 2
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixistix View Post
. . . But I am wanting to learn, in fact I get offended when the certain people keep insisting my job will be to lounge around and look good for my husband while HE sails. . .
Here is a photo of my wife when she first started sailing with me. She was real good at "looking good" while I sailed the boat. In fact, she really enjoyed it. It was hard to get her back into the cockpit. Since then she now does a hundred or more other things including manning the helm and cleaning the bottom. With good humor and patience on both partners parts it works out quickly enough.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version

Name:	Grenada2Carriacou0105sm.jpg
Views:	122
Size:	29.0 KB
ID:	21660  
__________________
osirissail is offline  
Old 02-12-2010, 20:10   #147
Registered User
 
NotQuiteLost's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Paradise (better known to most people as: Philippines)
Boat: 65' Custom Steel Ketch
Posts: 322
Images: 4
Honestly, there's nothing wrong with your entry position in sailing being to 'look good.' I don't want to turn this into a chauvinism thing, but there's a reason why modern society was built on the 'nuclear family' model.

An individual person (man OR woman) is capable of astonishing accomplishments if they know with absolute certainty that their partner has their back in whatever they attempt, and knowing their partner will be there to clean up some of the mess along the way allows for 100% focus on the task at hand.

Either a given lifestyle will fit you, or it won't. But being supportive (and yes, decorative) is nothing to scoff at, whatsoever. Do it for as long as you can before making a definitive determination, and there will be zero hard feelings at the end of the day. The only way anybody gets upset is if the experience along the way isn't done with a positive attitude.
NotQuiteLost is offline  
Old 02-12-2010, 20:54   #148
Registered User
 
Khagan1227's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Kansas City, MO
Boat: In the hunt again, unknown
Posts: 1,330
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixistix View Post
I am someone who is along for the ride, my husband and I are jumping in this. He has experience, I currently have none. But I am wanting to learn, in fact I get offended when the certain people keep insisting my job will be to lounge around and look good for my husband while HE sails...
Although I will admit I am worried that it won't work out for us... I have no experience. But I am trying to be more positive than negative.
We are in a similar position, I know how to sail, she never had much interest. We just bought a boat to get her experience sailing and she has jumped in with both feet. I try to include her in my plans for the mechanical projects I am doing and I try to help her with the "make the boat look nice" stuff she enjoys. I mentioned I needed a band saw to fashion my new tiller and I came home from work to a brand new one in the livingroom.

I try very hard to explain WHY I am doing what I am doing when I'm working on a project. I enjoy showing her my ideas and ask her opinion on them. She has started pointing out improvements to some of my work and that helps as well.

A positive attitude is everything, I hope it works well for you.
Khagan1227 is offline  
Old 02-12-2010, 22:03   #149
Registered User

Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Texas
Boat: 1978 C.N.S.O Mikado 56
Posts: 25
I enjoy looking good, but it is not my only job. I think that is why it gets to me.
__________________
http://ketchawave.blogspot.com/
Pixistix is offline  
Old 03-12-2010, 10:51   #150
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK/Portugal
Posts: 20,210
Images: 2
Send a message via Skype™ to boatman61
pirate

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pixistix View Post
I am someone who is along for the ride, my husband and I are jumping in this. He has experience, I currently have none. But I am wanting to learn, in fact I get offended when the certain people keep insisting my job will be to lounge around and look good for my husband while HE sails...
Although I will admit I am worried that it won't work out for us... I have no experience. But I am trying to be more positive than negative.
Maam... as far as I'm concerned your 95% there with "I want to learn.." occasional lounging around looking nice is the old mans fringe benifit.... hope he appreciates it...
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is offline  
Closed Thread

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Don't You Just Wanna QUIT and Go Sailin' ? SaltyMonkey General Sailing Forum 32 11-08-2010 10:56
Continue Working, or Quit All-Together ? FxdGrMind Off Topic Forum 31 08-06-2010 23:42



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 16:42.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.