After I've saved for three months and eaten the cottage cheese with dried pineapple, I'm gonna decorate the tub and busk. I can only play "Drunken Sailor", but I'll charge a dollar per person to sing custom made lyrics, such as:
"What do you do when you can't use Google
"Give him a solar
cooker and a noodle"
"Stick him in a third world cell with his ex"
"Stand him on a corner and sell him for s..."
"Send him on a raft with nothing to eat"
"Put him in a robe and pray at his feet"
"Send off to Amsterdam
for a packet of seed"
"Give him some weed and... um.... err... where were we?"
And then, because I can't sing either, I'll charge another dollar just to shut up.