cruising Anchorage etiquette?

[farm sail]

While there are many aspects of etiquette that I could use more knowledge on the aspects I am interested in today is contacting other cruisers in the Anchorage or other cruisers contacting me.

let's say I pull into a nice little Anchorage and there's another boat there I'm contemplating going over and saying hi how can I tell if they're open to that or if they just want to be left alone also how can I express my desires to either be left alone or that I'm open for others to come by and say hi are there any generally accepted practices of flying a certain flag or something else?

[MarkJ]

In the USA just stand on your foredeck with a shotgun. Anywhere else in the world just go say hello.

[2hullvenus]

Don't go over until someone acknowledges you or waves to you during the course of a normal day in the anchorage.

Source: I'm one of those crotchety anti social types who doesn't want neighbors at anchor.

[colemj]

No matter how strange or ugly or boring the boat is, pick some small aspect that truly interests you and go over and comment/ask about it. Not even 2hullvenus will turn down a chance to talk about his boat.

If the boat is a work of beauty, then your part in this is drop dead simple…

Mark

[Steve Bean]

I've found that rowing through the anchorage is much more conducive to striking up a conversation than motoring.

[hogHunter]

I agree, if you don't feel up for talking but enjoy spending time on deck just don't look up when other sailors row by you and don't make an effort to wave at others on their boats. It may seem unfriendly but there's really no good way to maintain your privacy... even that may not work. Maybe we should all adopt signs that say "Open to Visitors" and "Come back later".

The worst anchorage for privacy that I've seen is Salinas, PR, which I love by the way. It's a beautiful spot, people are really nice, great amenities at the dock, just all around wonderful place. But if you don't feel like having anchorage mates don't go here:

[TacomaSailor]

When in an anchorage there are moments I am social and others when I really do not want to chat. I always am glad to have folks stop by but I really appreciate when they read my mood properly.

If the person on the boat is not forthcoming with gossip or chattiness, doesn't invite you aboard for a beer, coffee, or tour then, after a couple minutes, tell them "nice talking, we'll get together for a beer later" and move on.

Common social sense is always welcome.

[Jim Cate]

Once one gets more than a day sail or two away from yachting centers, most cruisers (as opposed to weekenders) will be receptive to visits during daylight hours and away from meal times. Our practice is to go over by dinghy, say g'day and invite them over for a cuppa. If they waffle and hesitate, you can say "drop by whenever you see the dinghy there". This gives them the chance to not participate if that is what they desire, but allows informal contact at their convenience. This practice often leads to getting to know one's fellow travellers and some enjoyable contacts without being at all pushy.

Jim

[hogHunter]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

Once one gets more than a day sail or two away from yachting centers, most cruisers (as opposed to weekenders) will be receptive to visits during daylight hours and away from meal times. Our practice is to go over by dinghy, say g'day and invite them over for a cuppa. If they waffle and hesitate, you can say "drop by whenever you see the dinghy there". This gives them the chance to not participate if that is what they desire, but allows informal contact at their convenience. This practice often leads to getting to know one's fellow travellers and some enjoyable contacts without being at all pushy.

Jim

Great answer Jim! I think it definitely depends on if you have any desire to meet your neighbors. Personally, I have found that it's a very small world, even out on the big ocean. We constantly run into other cruisers that we've seen and/or met on other stops. I think it's friendly to say hi and, as you said, give them an out and an invitation and let them choose.

[Don C L]

As long as you don't anchor on top of someone else's anchor or fail to notice everyone is on two hooks and you aren't, most folks will be pretty cheerful I'd guess. I will have to admit some grumpiness with folks who didn't notice their boat was swinging or dragging into me! But I am very forgiving if they jump out on deck apologizing profusely, move their boat and invite me over for some Sheep Dip. By the way, since we both have fairly similar boats, both born on the Bay, I'd probably invite YOU over for the Sheep Dip. I'd like to get a closer look at the Farallon 29!

[nhschneider]

Perhaps we're overly cautious but we're reluctant to invite people we've only just met aboard our boat and we're equally reluctant to accept an invitation to board someone else's boat that we don't know. Sometimes if we've just met another cruiser in an anchorage, we might suggest getting together on the beach for sundowners or if the location is near civilization, meet at a pub or coffee shop.

We are very social cruisers and one of the highlights of our current cruise are the wonderful people we've met. We now know people whose friendship we treasure and we know will endure for many years to come, even after we swallow the hook. Regardless, for us, we intentionally might appear to be indifferent to others when we first meet.

Fair winds and calm seas.

[JPA Cate]

Originally Posted by nhschneider

Perhaps we're overly cautious but we're reluctant to invite people we've only just met aboard our boat and we're equally reluctant to accept an invitation to board someone else's boat that we don't know. Sometimes if we've just met another cruiser in an anchorage, we might suggest getting together on the beach for sundowners or if the location is near civilization, meet at a pub or coffee shop.

We are very social cruisers and one of the highlights of our current cruise are the wonderful people we've met. We now know people whose friendship we treasure and we know will endure for many years to come, even after we swallow the hook. Regardless, for us, we intentionally might appear to be indifferent to others when we first meet.

Fair winds and calm seas.

When I first read your post, I thought it was sad.

After some reflection, I remember that when we first started cruising, it was a great treat to be off by ourselves, doing our own thing. It was wonderful.

Years passed, and we became interested in interacting both with other cruisers in the area, and with the locals.

Drinks in the evening is one common mode of socializing; but I actually prefer a cuppa (coffee or tea or water) in daylight hours. Taking alcohol out of the mix gives you a space to evaluate your new companions and see if you want to delve deeper into friendship. I would like to add, that first impressions are often wrong, so it is good to give folks a coupla more chances.

Ann

[MarkJ]

My icebreaker when I drop anchor is to jump into the dinghy and go over to neighbouring boat and ask how the holding is.
No one ever refuses that information. And you very quickly get the idea if they like being disturbed or not.

Mark

[monte]

Well the first thing all cruisers do when they arrive at a new anchorage is try to steal some free wifi so just make a wifi hotspot with your iPhone. Something along the lines of 'free beer on sephina tonight' = lots of visitors. Lounging around naked on deck seems to work both ways. Telling people you use the same bucket for a head and a sink might scare some off..

[Dockhead]

Why bother wondering whether they are "open to that" or not? This is just the same as on land. Don't beat around the bush; just row over and invite them for a sundowner. If they don't want to its up to them to say "no", and you haven't lost anything.

By the way, the same attitude on land will immensely improve your social (and sex ) life.

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