Cruisers Who Fail... - Page 5

MarkJ · 05-11-2009, 16:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by sweetsailing

I do wonder with all this planning and dreaming...what if "the day" comes and our road takes a hard left? Is all my planning for not? .

Plan less. Enjoy more.

Someone on this boat gets a blank page and divi's it up into weeks and days and marks Today and then fills in where we guess we will be in a month; where we might be in a week and what we could do on Tuesday.
Come Tuesday there is an argument about why we are not doing what the plan says!

No we have ripped up that plan and are much happier

However: be careful with the line: We have no plan and are sticking to it! No plan means not getting anywhere at all! There must be something

"all in the anticipation of "the day" when the dream becomes a reality. "
Instead of planning like our sheet of paper, maybe you should be goal setting and focusing on reducing the time to reach that goal.

There is one of those crappy 'self help' books that has worked for me to make us get here. Its a video called The Secret http://www.the secret.tv (remove the space between "the" and "secret" I dont want to give them a free link)
You have to filter out all the horse manure its filled with, but the essential bit about goal setting is perfect. It really does give tools to turn dream seeking into reality achieving.

All the best : and we will see you out here when you decide to turn your dream to reality

Mark
PS I just watched the trailer to The Secret ... it really is a load of hogwash... LOL but they have to fillout a one sentince idea

sneuman · 06-11-2009, 06:50

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarkJ

Plan less. Enjoy more.

Someone on this boat gets a blank page and divi's it up into weeks and days and marks Today and then fills in where we guess we will be in a month; where we might be in a week and what we could do on Tuesday.
Come Tuesday there is an argument about why we are not doing what the plan says!

No we have ripped up that plan and are much happier

However: be careful with the line: We have no plan and are sticking to it! No plan means not getting anywhere at all! There must be something

"all in the anticipation of "the day" when the dream becomes a reality. "
Instead of planning like our sheet of paper, maybe you should be goal setting and focusing on reducing the time to reach that goal.

There is one of those crappy 'self help' books that has worked for me to make us get here. Its a video called The Secret http://www.the secret.tv (remove the space between "the" and "secret" I dont want to give them a free link)
You have to filter out all the horse manure its filled with, but the essential bit about goal setting is perfect. It really does give tools to turn dream seeking into reality achieving.

All the best : and we will see you out here when you decide to turn your dream to reality

Mark
PS I just watched the trailer to The Secret ... it really is a load of hogwash... LOL but they have to fillout a one sentince idea

It's funny you mention The Secret. A friend gave it to me and I put off trying to read it for months. Finally, after a constant barrage of "did you read that book yet" I tried it just the other night. You're right, it's dreadful.

Christian Van H · 06-11-2009, 06:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by sneuman

You're right, it's dreadful.

To save us the trouble, could you just tell us the secret?

sneuman · 06-11-2009, 06:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Christian Van H

To save us the trouble, could you just tell us the secret?

Apparently by thinking positive thoughts you attract positive "energy" or some sort.

I do agree that thinking positively is good for your psyche, but that seems rather self-evident.

Don Lucas · 05-11-2009, 16:13

"Once you get out there you see many a boat where the couple is not in total agreement about cruising. In most cases it's the wife or female partner that doesn't like it." and the comments similar....this is my biggest fear! My "dream" is different than the sailing magnazine covers as my hope to start with was that I didn't hate sailing. This is why I try to get more input from "what women want".

Mark - your story just bummed me out! To think that someone commited sucide because they couldn't face 'THE BOAT' anymore is truely sad. Even sadder is that in the boating community one should never feel so alone that you come to such a thing as overall I find boaters afriendier group than in the "real world".

Tom Spohn · 05-11-2009, 16:48

"Wherever you go there you are!" Yes, yes I know this a a bit of a joke, but there is some truth to it afterall. We are who we are no matter what we are doing or where we are. People can change, but normally do so very slowly. If there are issues in one's life before sailing off into the sunset, there will be issues on the boat as well. Bottom line--don't depend on the sailing life to fix basic personal problems.

The discussion reminds me of friends who weren't getting along and decided to have a baby to fix things. Guess What--they had problems after the birth of the baby as well. Or folks that can't agree on how to raise the kids, so they divorce and, guess what--they still have the problem of agreeing on how to raise the kids!

imagine2frolic · 05-11-2009, 16:58

what if the day comes and our road takes a hard left......

Well you get up, and dust yourself off. Take a look around, and then pull up your bootstraps, and continue on. Life is a constant challenge, and lesson. When you stop learning, and give up.....it's over.

You have already had challenges in your life. This will be one more. Cruising is kind of like eating liver. If you don't like it....spit it out....get off the boat, but that doesn't mean life stops. If every decision I made weas right. My life would be a lot different. I would be 20 lbs. lighter, tons of retirement money, and no worry wrinkles on me about life........i2f

Blue Stocking · 06-11-2009, 07:02

"failure is not an option" Gene Krantz

imagine2frolic · 06-11-2009, 07:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Stocking

"failure is not an option" Gene Krantz

I've got the hat!!!!!!!!...

.......i2f

sneuman · 06-11-2009, 07:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by imagine2frolic

I've got the hat!!!!!!!!...

.......i2f

My favorite is the Mythbuster's T-shirt: Failure is always an option.

GordMay · 06-11-2009, 10:35

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blue Stocking

"failure is not an option" Gene Krantz

Tell that to Gus Grissom, Ed White, and Roger Chaffee, Vladimir Komarov, Georgi Dobrovolsky, Vladislav Volkov, and Viktor Patsayev, Francis R. Scobee, Michael J. Smith, Ronald E. McNair, Ellison S. Onizuka, Judith A. Resnik, Gregory B. Jarvis, and Sharon Christa McAuliffe, and Rick Husband, William McCool, Kalpana Chawla, David Brown, Mike Anderson, Laurel Clark, and Ilan Ramon.

James S · 06-11-2009, 07:55

I've got a beat up old No Fear tee-shirt that says;
“Second place is the first loser"

A bit harsh...but I like it!

David_Old_Jersey · 06-11-2009, 08:25

My "get up and go" got up and went............

Cormorant · 06-11-2009, 09:05

This thread reminds me of a column I always wished Cruising World would run:
"Rescued, Wrecked, Lost"
Just a few lines each month about cruisers lost at sea, rescued by the coast guard or other boats, etc. Every disaster is a learning experience, for someone somewhere. . . . But they would never run that column for fear of terrifying half their readership away.

Christian Van H · 06-11-2009, 13:24

And now back to the originally scheduled thread...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cormorant

. . . But they would never run that column for fear of terrifying half their readership away.

Sail and Cruising World are out to sell the dream. Every issue has a boat review with a price tag of over a million, a beautiful island or two and a happy how-to. It's rare to read a story with a punchline like; And so my wife left me...or, ...and that's why we never ventured offshore again! How 'bout; We just couldn't take the natives (goes both ways), or ...OH MY GAWD! BOAT MAINTENANCE IS SUCH A P.I.T.A.!!! There have to be many more disillusioned cruisers out there NOT writing a book about it...

BTW, I almost never go shopping, but a few days ago I visited a Walmart. Strolled into the electronics department and had an eye opening. There are huge flat screen TVs now for under a grand! They are like looking into another room thru a bay window. Next day I was back at the boat sanding and filling with Marisa. Our refit is coming together nicely. There was no one else around, and I thought to myself "I don't have a single friend or acquaintance that I know of that ever worked this hard at anything in their adult lives". I guess that's why we'll be leaving, and they'll be watching...

05-11-2009, 16:58	#7
imagine2frolic Registered User Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: N.E. Florida Boat: Simpson, Catamaran, 46ft. IMAGINE Posts: 3,160	what if the day comes and our road takes a hard left...... Well you get up, and dust yourself off. Take a look around, and then pull up your bootstraps, and continue on. Life is a constant challenge, and lesson. When you stop learning, and give up.....it's over. You have already had challenges in your life. This will be one more. Cruising is kind of like eating liver. If you don't like it....spit it out....get off the boat, but that doesn't mean life stops. If every decision I made weas right. My life would be a lot different. I would be 20 lbs. lighter, tons of retirement money, and no worry wrinkles on me about life........i2f __________________ BORROWED! No single one of us is as smart as all of us! SAILING is not always a slick magazine cover!

06-11-2009, 07:55	#12
James S Registered User Join Date: May 2008 Location: I live in Yemen...the boats in Lebenon Boat: 1978 CT48 Arctic Lady Posts: 1,183	I've got a beat up old No Fear tee-shirt that says; “Second place is the first loser" A bit harsh...but I like it! __________________ James S/V Arctic Lady

06-11-2009, 08:25	#13
David_Old_Jersey Registered User Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: Les Illes de La Manche - Sitting in an Armchair, tied to the Dock :-) Boat: "Wayluya" Seadog 30 Posts: 1,823	My "get up and go" got up and went............ __________________ Join TEAM GOAT! and be a part of The Last Great Sailing Challenge!......... The First & Youngest & Fastest Goat to sail Solo RTW (Non-Stop)

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05-11-2009, 16:13	#5
Don Lucas Registered User Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Salem MA Boat: Cal 39 - D & D Posts: 486	"Once you get out there you see many a boat where the couple is not in total agreement about cruising. In most cases it's the wife or female partner that doesn't like it." and the comments similar....this is my biggest fear! My "dream" is different than the sailing magnazine covers as my hope to start with was that I didn't hate sailing. This is why I try to get more input from "what women want". Mark - your story just bummed me out! To think that someone commited sucide because they couldn't face 'THE BOAT' anymore is truely sad. Even sadder is that in the boating community one should never feel so alone that you come to such a thing as overall I find boaters afriendier group than in the "real world".

05-11-2009, 16:48	#6
Tom Spohn Registered User Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Seattle Boat: Schock 35 Posts: 109	"Wherever you go there you are!" Yes, yes I know this a a bit of a joke, but there is some truth to it afterall. We are who we are no matter what we are doing or where we are. People can change, but normally do so very slowly. If there are issues in one's life before sailing off into the sunset, there will be issues on the boat as well. Bottom line--don't depend on the sailing life to fix basic personal problems. The discussion reminds me of friends who weren't getting along and decided to have a baby to fix things. Guess What--they had problems after the birth of the baby as well. Or folks that can't agree on how to raise the kids, so they divorce and, guess what--they still have the problem of agreeing on how to raise the kids!

06-11-2009, 07:02	#8
Blue Stocking Registered User Join Date: Dec 2008 Boat: Rhodes Reliant 41ft Blue Stocking Posts: 256	"failure is not an option" Gene Krantz

06-11-2009, 09:05	#14
Cormorant Registered User Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Catskill Mountains (too far from the sea) Boat: 31' homebuilt Michalak-designed Cormorant "Sea Fever" Posts: 63	This thread reminds me of a column I always wished Cruising World would run: "Rescued, Wrecked, Lost" Just a few lines each month about cruisers lost at sea, rescued by the coast guard or other boats, etc. Every disaster is a learning experience, for someone somewhere. . . . But they would never run that column for fear of terrifying half their readership away.