Cruisers Who Fail...

[tanksalot]

I've just turned tail after working on, talking about and spending lots of $$ on my dream of sailing our 27 ft. sailboat from CT to the Southern ICW, where my non-sailor wife agreed to join me in the Spring for a "safe" trip partway up. My son had emailed the address of my tracking device to a bunch of family members, and of course most of my family knew of my trip.

I now have to face the restaurant owner who treated me to a free beer when learning about my trip, face the many people who said "good for you" when learning of my venture, and somehow face the credit card bills that I incurred in preparation for the trip. As well as facing, most importantly, my feeling that "I failed".

Why did I turn around? DID I "fail"? The reality is that the goal became not worth the price of attaining it. Sitting in a warm living room imagining doing something is far different from the experience. Sailing Long Island Sound in November is COLD. Days are short, and to sail day-only means a LOT of cold, uncomfortable 14 hour sailing days. And sailing open-ocean means prolonged cold, dark, somewhat dangerous sailing only to arrive at Norfolk and then "drive" the boat for days at a time in the cold in order to leave the boat for a Spring return with my wife. All the time missing Thanksgiving with family that I haven't seen for a while.

Sailing into Montauk at night using the GPS was like playing a video game with my live body at the center of the screen. Only to anchor and listen to the wind howl through the wires and notice the pilings going by my window at night when I was (supposedly) anchored (no, the anchor wasn't properly set). And then to imagine doing it over and over again, in the cold, for a couple of weeks. The question of "why" became pervasive, and, ultimately, I decided that enjoying life NOW was more important than the planned trip in the Spring.

Rather than viewing this as a "failure", I'd prefer to view it as a reasonable decision based upon my values. I'm personally hard-wired to minimize the challenges facing anything I wish to attain, and maybe that's the difference between those who "do" and those who dream.

[Alaska JD]

No you didn't fail at all. In fact you very successfully reordered your priorites after learning some new information about the plans you were developing for yourself. I wonder if failing wouldn't have been pressing on and subjecting yourself to what you experience as being miserable and then persisting because you lacked the courage to simply tell those you mentioned that you'd simply changed your mind because your priorities changed. You absolutely have the right to your own goals and to adjust them as you learn more information and gain more experience .

You make the comment that you "prefer to view your decision as reasonable based upon you values". It sounds like for you the focus is attaining a goal as effeciently as possible. For others the process is as important as the goal. I'm not sure, but I wonder if those that "do" tend to also value the process of attaining a goal more than those that dream.

[Christian Van H]

Originally Posted by tanksalot

Why did I turn around? DID I "fail"?

In my humble opinion, if you aborted because you thought your living room is more comfy and you didn't want to exert yourself, you failed. However, if you turned back because you realized your sailing knowledge fell short of what this endeavor requires, you are to be commended. Lots of southbound cruisers are still cruising around the Chesapeake right now, and will soon leave for their ICW trips. I have been there, done that. It gets cold...real cold. Wouldn't trade the memories for anything though...

[Jack Tar]

A thread like this can go on forever. Everyone has their own opinion. Some on small boats, some on large and some who don't even own a boat yet. Failure is a personal thing. Did you let something beat you, have you given up trying or did you try and get beaten. Who are the rest of us to judge and what have we accomplished. I started out on a 18' wooden day sailor. From there I went to a Catalina 22 then a 25. Next came a great little Alberg 29 and now we are living aboard a Formosa 51. I met and exceeded my initial dreams and now have bigger ones. So how do you fail. Qiut trying, give up. Perhaps those who fail in the worst way are those who never try.

[sneuman]

I enjoy overcoming obstacles and even adversity.

I have always had a sort of persistence, a "voice in my head" if you will, that has said 'you can take it' and 'you will make it'. That voice got me through Army Basic, OCS, a couple of gruelling long-distance bicycle trips and survival conditions at sea.

But, that doesn't make me a "risk taker" in the modern (Darwin Award) sense of the word, nor does it make me a gambler.

I am willing to take acceptable, calculated risk but I want some substantial control over the outcome. Games of chance don't interest me - I have never understood the appeal of craps or roulette, for example, but I don't mind a good round of Poker, a game that involves skill, cunning and a little bit of luck -- much more analogous to sailing.

If I look back on an experience and can only point to dumb luck for having got me through it, I won't be interested in repeating that experience. That would just be stupid (and dangerous). I don't pat myself on the back for making it, I just consider myself, well, lucky.

If, however, my hindsight on an experience is that my knowledge and skills were a significant or deciding factor, even if there were other things beyond my control (and there almost always are), that's an experience I relish, am proud of and will not shrink from in future.

[Gordon b]

I dreamed of building a boat and traveling the world since I was a kid, 7 years ago I bought the hull of a 45' sailboat and began building. Yes, there's way more expense and headaches building it; and yes I nearly gave up when I was diagnosed with cancer, and yes I spent everything I have on it. I have been frustrated and burned out from the experience and would not do it again, but Amnesty is in the water now and I'm not a bit sorry I took on this venture. Getting ready to head out for southern waters within the next 10 days, the only regret would have been failing myself & my life's dream.

[Ocean Girl]

Godspeed Gordon b

[James S]

Originally Posted by Ocean Girl

Godspeed Gordon b

I second that...
I hope that 7 year old boy is back

[Stillraining]

Good on Ya Gordon...Go and enjoy her now and my God grant you many more years to do it in.

[maxingout]

Go for it Gordon. You Rock!