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Old 11-06-2012, 01:00   #1
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Bite, Fight or Flight...

We all have something to learn and on the scale of sailing evolution I come out somewhere near a bathroom rubber duck.

Having said that there are times when you sail with another skipper or just in general conversation when they say or do something you know is just plain wrong.

They might be just planning to leave in weather which you know is going to really blow up or just the way they sail which you think is wrong or even dangerous. If something you see or hear is just plain wrong in your opinion do you just bite your tongue or say something?

Have you sailed with someone who is just plain dangerous. I did once and knew instantly that no matter what I said or how I said it he was going to refuse to listen. I left the boat at the first opportunity.

What about you? Bite, fight or flight?
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Old 11-06-2012, 01:05   #2
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Re: Bite, Fight or Flight...

Speak my opinion once. No argue, but discuss if they like. Move to the other end of the bar (or get off their boat).
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Old 11-06-2012, 01:31   #3
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Re: Bite, Fight or Flight...

I had a boat come into the berth a couple down from me the other day, i could see the skipper was struggling to berth the boat, he was fighting both the prevailing wind and his prop walk, coming from the other side would have been so much simpler.

Being the good soul that I am, I went to fend off his transom which was scraping nicely along the finger . I got his transom off and took his aft line which he asked to place on the mid finger cleat, which i did, next i got another line tossed at me from the bow, which was tangled on other lines and through the guard rails, at this point the nose of his boat is resting on the boat on his other side.

I was slowly pulling him off with a slight turn around the finger cleat, when one of his crew jumps off and panickly shouts at me to take a turn and give instructions on how to tie the line off on the cleat, so i just tied it off and left him slowly getting tangled with the boat next to him.

Next they eventually manage to pull the boat in, lines all over the place, with no real order, tied to all sorts.

This marina is very rolly, he puts all his fenders out, with the tops maybe six inches from the top of the finger. I suggested he maybe raise them so they dont get trapped, i get a grunt, so leave.

I woke up this morning and their guard rail is gone and the fenders are tied to the stanchions , with the fenders now mid way to the top of the finger.

Sometimes you are better saying nothing and not trying to help!
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Old 11-06-2012, 02:34   #4
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Re: Bite, Fight or Flight...

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Originally Posted by daddle View Post
Speak my opinion once. No argue, but discuss if they like. Move to the other end of the bar (or get off their boat).
+1

Also what Stevensuf said
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Old 11-06-2012, 04:41   #5
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Re: Bite, Fight or Flight...

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Originally Posted by Nostrodamus View Post
Have you sailed with someone who is just plain dangerous.

What about you? Bite, fight or flight?

Go out with this guy who normally is pretty good, nothing special really but safe etc. But every once in a while he just seems to have lost his mind and when back at the home mooring I wonder "what was he thinking".


I would do something, but ............... its' me!
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Old 11-06-2012, 05:36   #6
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Re: Bite, Fight or Flight...

"Ya can't fix stupid" you gotta love Ron White! If the person in question is doing something that I feel will endanger my life, I will do my best to remedy the situation until we get close enough to a landfall then I bail. Usually I can tell before hand if they are dangerous and I avoid them and definitely do not get on a boat with them in charge. Same as the others, speak once, then hold my peace and get the hell away from them.
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Old 11-06-2012, 06:49   #7
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Re: Bite, Fight or Flight...

If i'm a crew, and it doesn't impact safety, I keep my mouth shut. His boat, his rules.

If I'm on the dock I'll ask the skipper if he would like a hand. If a crash into another boat is pending I will fend him off without permission.

If it's a boat full of girls in bikinis, I suck in my gut.
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Old 11-06-2012, 07:21   #8
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Re: Bite, Fight or Flight...

my recent experience has taught me to never allow anyone to have control over myt boat again...

I was in a position where I needed help in moving my boat.. and in keeping with my newly found lesson, I should have waited until I was able to do it myself... instead my impatience allowed someone to navigate my boat, and in return we spent an extra day out at sea then it really should have taken, we ran out of fuel cause he didnt want to waste time pulling into Marco Island for fuel stop, and then we ended up getting boarded by homeland security who found controlled substance in / on my crews possession... (they gave them a warning, (as it was a small amount))..

no amount of conversation was going to convince those guys that the course they chose was 100nm out of the way, and against the current and or against favorable winds... they dont believe in electronic chartplotters so they spent hourse cruising back and forth looking for channel markers in their home turf, with some emergency 180s to avoid shoals that had visible breakers over the tops... all the while cursing the winds and my boat..

for the most part, I said something once and then shut up to avoid confrontation and or making them more defensive then they already were... I was confident that they would get me to my destination, albeit later and with more grief then needed...

the boarding and drugs was the icing on the cake as I had the conversation with them prior to leaving... NO DRINKING OR DRUGS... period...

oh well.. I learned my lesson... and I will move on... but great topic... thanks
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