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Old 18-01-2016, 07:15   #106
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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Wouldn't you pick the best spot? Wouldn't everyone? I know I would.

.
Sure if you ignore half the statement.

They then expect everyone else to give a half mile of space around thier choosen best spot is the hypocritical part.
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Old 18-01-2016, 07:36   #107
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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This really seems to be the issue.
- The OP didn't want to follow the local anchoring method
- The late arrival didn't talk to the OP before taking the space.

If either had stepped up and taken the initiative, no ones feelings would have been hurt.

I'm not buying the sick captain as she could have asked for assistance with a shore tie to help make room for the new boat. In terms of etiquette, that would have demonstrated her willingness to work with them and likely difused any tension.
That's my read on it.
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Old 18-01-2016, 23:27   #108
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

We all know that when we try and defend territory, folks get their dander up. The encroacher was a known ignoranus (stupid a**h**e), and the OP .... who knows?

Still, at the end of the day, how people get along together the best, is to be friendly and proactive. While Mark J's scenario might not have worked in this situation, perhaps it might have.

A woman, to seek help from the other cruiser, would have psychologically required her partner's consent. In this case, I do not think it would have been given. Frankly, I think she was between a rock and a hard place, in a no-win situation.

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Old 19-01-2016, 01:10   #109
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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A woman, to seek help from the other cruiser, would have psychologically required her partner's consent. In this case, I do not think it would have been given. Frankly, I think she was between a rock and a hard place, in a no-win situation.

Ann
Normally, I think your comments are very level headed but this one I think is questionable.

If the hubby is out of commission, the wife should be capable of taking charge and making descions. If she isn't, she needs more training or you need another crew member who can.

Then again, it didn't sound like he was on his death bed. A simple "honey, there's a boat trying to find a place to anchor. I'm going to see if they can help me run a line to shore to open up some space." would have addressed the partners consent.

The only psychological issue is the mentality that I got here first, so others can work around me and a resistance to talk to other boats and work out a solution.
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Old 19-01-2016, 01:29   #110
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

^^^

Yeah, we didn't know what went on.

I've known people who could charm you into doing something you didn't want to do, and people who couldn't convince you to do anything at all...

But this lady started this thread for a reason....perhaps lost by this time. How I see it is that after the OP had anchored well away from the others, this large cat anchored on top of them. Somehow, the OP, who had sick hubby below, was not efficient in getting the big cat to move off. Normally a simple situation, but in this case led to angst.

Reading the following posts, it began to sound as if the cat was a well known person who was insensitive to anchcoring protocol.

I stand by what I posted. The OP was stuck between her skipper and her good sense, with a known difficult person. Now, I have to say, I do not know the OP's capabilites, like for moving the boat herself, or toughness, for confronting A52, but I do not think she would have started this thread if she hadn't hoped for a different outcome, while not quite knowing how to go about making that happen.

Over to you, valhalla
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Old 19-01-2016, 03:54   #111
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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^^^

Yeah, we didn't know what went on.

I've known people who could charm you into doing something you didn't want to do, and people who couldn't convince you to do anything at all...

But this lady started this thread for a reason....perhaps lost by this time. How I see it is that after the OP had anchored well away from the others, this large cat anchored on top of them. Somehow, the OP, who had sick hubby below, was not efficient in getting the big cat to move off. Normally a simple situation, but in this case led to angst.

Reading the following posts, it began to sound as if the cat was a well known person who was insensitive to anchcoring protocol.

I stand by what I posted. The OP was stuck between her skipper and her good sense, with a known difficult person. Now, I have to say, I do not know the OP's capabilites, like for moving the boat herself, or toughness, for confronting A52, but I do not think she would have started this thread if she hadn't hoped for a different outcome, while not quite knowing how to go about making that happen.

Over to you, valhalla
Agreed, we don't know the actual situation.

I will include in that I'm not going to assume the other boat was in the wrong because he isn't hear to share his side of the story. Our only knowledge of him is from the opposing side. If you've ever listened to a court case before the defense has had thier say, you would convict every time.
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Old 19-01-2016, 04:43   #112
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pirate Re: Anchor Etiquette

Well I am firmly on Her side..
And 'Right Up' Anyone else's if I was in her position..
Don't like it..? 'Move On..!!'
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Old 19-01-2016, 06:48   #113
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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Maybe you didn't read the whole thread. It's a crowded anchorage, and most everyone is tied in bow and stern. The same boating courtesy rules that dictate that an arriving boat respect existing boats also require that established anchorage techniques in a given location be respected.

I think it's OK to anchor further out and anchor differently, but you lose the right to complain if someone else shows up in "your space".

So it's not quite as black and white as you're indicating.

Also, there WERE people on the boat, and they didn't really communicate with each other. Further complicating the issue is that these are boats have seen each other around in general.

The Virgin Islands are beautiful, but too crowded this time of year to expect privacy at anchor.

I see this as a grey area, and one where "it takes a village"...
I did read the entire post and I don't know why you feel compelled to insult my intelligence by suggesting that I did not.

My response remains the same regardless of your opinion.
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Old 19-01-2016, 06:58   #114
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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I did read the entire post and I don't know why you feel compelled to insult my intelligence by suggesting that I did not.

My response remains the same regardless of your opinion.
Only half the situation was recounted in your retelling of the situation.

So either you hadn't read it, or you purposefully omitted it. I don't mean to insult you, but it did seem that someone should point it out.

Like valhalla said, we weren't there, and we didn't hear the other boat's perspective.
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Old 19-01-2016, 07:31   #115
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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Only half the situation was recounted in your retelling of the situation.

So either you hadn't read it, or you purposefully omitted it. I don't mean to insult you, but it did seem that someone should point it out.

Like valhalla said, we weren't there, and we didn't hear the other boat's perspective.
The OP stated that they were anchored in this spot for two days before this happened.

Again, one would have to have a huge set of balls or be totally ignorant to expect another boater to move because he or she wanted the spot.
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Old 19-01-2016, 07:34   #116
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

Before you fire the cannons remember that everyone on board may not be an ahole. At the insistence of an acquaintances wife I was asked to join them on a charter to the VIs I knew it was going to be one helluva week when on day one the charter agent asked if we would like the the 43ft full keel boat moved to the end of the docks because of tight quarters and cross wind I said yes he said no! We would handle it. After we get half way out of the slip he realizes that he cant make the turn he steps away from the helm and say's HERE you take it I do manage to get out without a crash but shaken and angry!
Next starts the anchoring wars, He motors into the middle of mooring balls and tells me to go forward and drop the hook, after almost coming to blows I convince him to move, so we move to an area with anchored boats at that point he wants to let out way to much scope, again an argument ensues, he relents ,I go ashore and see him letting out line, as it turned out there were no wind changes so it did not mater
After many anchoring infractions there were a few highlights to the trip!like watching him setting on the side of the dingy as as a ferry passed bow high rolling a 4ft wake yep him rolling in the rocks was fun even though i lost a few things myself and the engine swamped
And i will admit that there was a motive to me agreeing with him to go outside on the way back after days of high winds Watching DA MACHO chum all day was fun AND I did try to help by reducing sail OR was that to make the trip longer HA HA sometime the evil side gets a turn
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Old 19-01-2016, 07:57   #117
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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The OP stated that they were anchored in this spot for two days before this happened.

Again, one would have to have a huge set of balls or be totally ignorant to expect another boater to move because he or she wanted the spot.

They also said the anchorage is generally pretty crowded, and that the custom there is that boats there tie bow and stern, which the OP's boat chose not to do. Being there two days or two hours isn't really relevant to anything.

The very meaning of the word etiquette is following the customs or norms. Part of observing rules of etiquette is to be polite with other people, not using "the rules" to win the battle of the anchorage.

The real "win" in anchoring is when people realize that they're all in this together, everyone does their best to share the anchorage, and the other boat isn't giving you "the stink eye" when they leave. It's true that sometimes this just isn't possible, because some people aren't at all reasonable, but that should at least be the goal. I thought Ann's advice was pretty good.

I don't think I'd call the other boater "ignorant", or claim "they must have a big set of balls", as they aren't here to provide or defend their perspective, which I'm going to guess is a bit different from that of the OP.
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:08   #118
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

so here's a serious question:

what establishes a local custom?

what if i am not familiar or comfortable with that certain technique?
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:26   #119
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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so here's a serious question:

what establishes a local custom?

what if i am not familiar or comfortable with that certain technique?
"Etiquette" and "local custom" mean you should be doing things the way I want you to do them. They are words used to complain when this doesn't happen.

And of course, if you are not from the locality, there's no way of knowing what the local custom is unless signs are posted..

To me, and I would think most reasonable folks, "anchoring etiquette" means one doesn't anchor so close to another boat that either might swing into the other.

This puts the OP's boat in the right and the second boat in the wrong.
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Old 19-01-2016, 08:53   #120
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Re: Anchor Etiquette

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so here's a serious question:

what establishes a local custom?

what if i am not familiar or comfortable with that certain technique?
Local customs in an anchorage are the way people have learned to accommodate each other over time in that location. It's just the way people do things in a particular anchorage.

If you're not familiar or comfortable with the local technique, normally the boaters there will help you out.

In this case, it's nothing particularly complicated.
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