A funny. :)

[ssullivan]

No idea where this came from, and it's mostly for racers, but I got a good chuckle:


~Leech- A crewmember that never seems to have a dime when its time to pay for drinks or meals.

Luff- The Front part of a sail that everyone but the helmsman seems to pay attention to (see also Telltales)

Luff up- Something racers do to each other to catch the back of the fleet
Head -(See Stern Pulpit)

Halyard- Something that only breaks or jams when you're winning

Sheet- A line made to rip gloves or hands part. Has ability to tangle on anything.

Bow- The part of the boat that no one should have to work on. Temporary section of an offshore Catamaran

Backstay- The last thing to grab as your falling overboard

Stem Fitting- The hole made in a competitors boat when your helmsman misjudges a Port /Starboard crossing

Snatch Block-Men use to spend a lot of time at sea. They must have been shaped very differently in those days

Hatch- A hole to fall into

Companionway- Another name for a hole to fall into

Heave to-Newcomers quite often find themselves heaving too

Anchor- The thing rotting in the bilge of every racing yacht (unseen)

Sewerman- A sailor that has a fetish for wet soggy nylon

Foreguy-First guy to the bar

Afterguy-Last guy out of the bar

Lazy Guy-Most Yacht Racers when they're not Racing (if this one offends you, please leave)

Winch- A thing you grind till it squeals

Wench- A thing you grind till it squeals

Keel- A very heavy depth sounder only used on Unamarans (monohulls)

Interior-A term not used in conjunction with racing yachts

Comfort- Another term not used in conjunction with racing yachts

Bunk- A small uncomfortable area for wet sailors to attempt sleep

Inside Overlap-The part of a race that resembles a political debate

Round Up-Easiest way to get the oncoming watch on deck

Round Down- A bad, bad thing for a bowman out on the spinnaker pole

Gybe Set- A great way to end up on Port Tack right in front of the whole
Fleet that's approaching the mark on Starboard

Gybe - A common way to get unruly guests off your boat

Pop the Chute-The sound a Poly Chute makes just as it blows apart (see America One)

Cunningham- A Sly Pig or a complicated term for a downhaul

Tactician-A kind term for a Smart Ass or Arrogant SOB or Dumb Ass or Lucky SOB

Boom - Called boom for the sound that's made when it hits crew in the head on its way across the boat. For slow crew, it's called `boom, boom

Racing:
Popular nautical contact sport

Rudder:
A large, heavy, vertically mounted, hydrodynamically contoured steel plate with which, through the action of a tiller or wheel, it is possible, during brief intervals, to point a sailing vessel in a direction which, due to a combination of effects caused by tide, current, the force and direction of the wind, the size and angle of the waves, and the shape of the hull, it does not wish to go.

Shower:
Due to restricted space, limited water supplies, and the difficulty of generating hot water, showers on board ship are quite different from those taken ashore. Although there is no substitute for direct experience, a rough idea of a shipboard shower can be obtained by standing naked for two minutes in a closet with a large, wet dog

Spinnaker:
An extremely large, lightweight, balloon-shaped piece of sailcloth frequently trailed in the water off the bow in a big bundle to slow the boat down

Yawl:
Southern version of ahoy

Zeyphyr:
A warm, pleasand breeze named after the mythical Greek god of wishful thinking, false hopes, and unreliable forecasts

Helmsman-The nut attached to the rudder through a steering mechanism~