92-year old Navy veteran on boat delivery.

[rmlarson1098]

Originally Posted by Snowind

Hey there fellow cruisers. This is my first post on the Cruisers Forum and I'd appreciate opinions any and all about an upcoming passage my wife and I are planning.

Background: We finally are making time to do some cruising. After a 25 year hiatus away from the water we pulled the trigger and bought a Leopard 40 catamaran. We take delivery late June in Fort Lauderdale and plan to sail her up the East Coast to the Chesapeake Bay. We plan to be in the Gulfstream 5-7 days straight during the almost 1000 mile trip.

Question: How feasible is it for a 92 year old person to make this trip with us. My father is absolutely determined to join my wife and I on this trip? He still drives a car but his mobility is very challenged and I'm very concerned about him getting injured or worse during the trip. We'll never be more than 24 hours from a decent port if we need to come to shore. However, due to many extenuating circumstances, I need to get the boat out of Florida and up to Virginia ASAP.

FWIW: We will have an experienced boat delivery captain on board with us.

Thanks in advance for your opinions!

Kurt

Basically agree with Gord. Life is an adventure or it's nothing at all. Nobody lives forever and I can't think of a better way to go!
There will come a point in ALL of our lives where we'll either just tip over and be gone, or end up wearing adult diapers as we drool in our soup.
It's your father's life, and as long as he is mentally competent enough to understand the risks - such as what a broken hip will mean at that age - then my opinion is he should go sailing with his son & family.

[captlloyd]

Everyone quit complaining and take him along.

[Captain Puget]

Very hard questions: and highly individually dependent.

That said, I’d take him, but with a dedicated crew member who’s job it is to work with and support him. ... if medical issues, then qualified to help. If the boat space supports - more crew than you need - make it a fun party. That may allow limited participation, or more, when he is feeling up to it... his job should be watch management given his experience (ego stroke). You are asking him to “manage watches”, not play foredeck monkey with a spinnaker. He should be the watch captain, with appropriate supporting crew.

He should agree - boat safety first, and as an experienced sailer you should extract a solemn promise if he wants to sign on as crew that he will comply with captains orders and exercise best judgement for the safety of boat and crew.

[Seaworthy Lass]

I, too, wish you the best of luck with this decision.

My father in law is 91. He is still 100% independent, and still drives. He loves to sail and we would both absolutely love to have him on board. This would also enable him to see how much we are enjoying this lifestyle and I know that would bring him long term joy. The only reason he has not joined us lately is the inability to get travel insurance. Spending tens of thousands on medical care while abroad scares him.

Two things bother me in this instance though. Passages can be tough and although they can be highly rewarding, they can be hard going for even the fittest of crew members, let alone a nonagenarian.

The biggest stumbling block for me is your wife’s objection. I know relationships vary dramatically in their structure, but for me my ultimate loyalty lies with my husband. We are a close knit partnership. I would not go ahead with anything he objected strongly to and vice versa.

Is it an alternative to have your father join you in Chesapeake Bay for an extended cruise?

SWL

[jen1722terry]

Lots of good comments on this topic.

In my younger years I used to do hi-altitude mountaineering. We always bought evac insurance. A climbing mate did need it in Ecuador, due to severe dysentery (couldn't keep him hydrated). The Insurer paid the freight for the chopper to the hospital in the Quito but would not cover his flight back to the US.

However, you may not be able to get evac insurance with your Dad aboard. Maybe try a few insurers to see if they'll cover the entire crew. If not, I'd leave him home. Evacs can be very expensive should you have to pay out of pocket. Maybe try USAA, as they may be more partial to vets than some other carriers.

If I were the delivery captain, I'd take your Dad, provided I have the understanding that I will put the boat in any port at any time during the trip if crew conditions warrant it.

Good luck, not that you'll need it. You're already very lucky to still have your Dad with you. Mine passed at 71. He would have loved the trip you're planning.

Enjoy the Chesapeake when you get there. Wonderful cruising. I kept a boat near there for many years. However, it can get really hot and humid in the summer, so you may want to put AC on the boat if your Dad comes along.

[Richard5]

Okay, it's settled. Kurt is taking pops. Now onto more pressing matters;

How many O clubs can dad get you into?
And, what anchor do you have?

[gaucho]

I guess this has been said already, but didn't read the whole thread.

If he wants to go, and he is 90 something ... and he buys the farm on this trip: GOOD FOR HIM. Let the man go with dignity, not in a goddam dirty nursing home. Let the man live his last years (because he is there!) doing something that would make him happy.

That's all I have to say.

[GordMay]

Originally Posted by rmlarson1098;2897969...[B

Nobody lives forever[/B] and I can't think of a better way to go! ....

... but it could seem like forever.

[malcolmlj]

Use ICW to avoid Cape Hatteras, which is high risk of being very rough.

[GrowleyMonster]

If it were me, I would make it happen. It is probably his last chance to do something sort of epic. And the memory will be special to you, too. I am betting he is tougher than you think, especially faced with a challenge that is rather enjoyable in nature. So unless his health is such that you simply can't care for and protect him from harm, I say take him, and consider breaking up the voyage. If tragedy strikes, well, he will die happy and probably no sooner than at home. I would give the boat a good lookover and install extra grabrails and such where appropriate, and make sure he has a good harness and plenty of places to clip in. And a comfortable place to sit in the cockpit and at the table, and a clear path with lots of grab rails on the way to the head. Watch that he consumes plenty of liquids. I am saying yeah, if he is dead set on going, take him, just take all possible precautions against mishap, and make this voyage special. Well, it will be special, anyway.

[a64pilot]

Originally Posted by malcolmlj

Use ICW to avoid Cape Hatteras, which is high risk of being very rough.

I’d even say as this is a new to you Boat, whether Dad comes along or not, take the ICW for the first couple of days.
There is nothing wrong with the ICW, it doesn’t make you less of a man etc.
Your just starting out, you have years ahead of you for you and the wife to brave the seas, but you may not have long for you to do something for your Father.

Try to get your Wife to understand that, my Wife used to be a jealous of my Father, we talked on the phone every day as opposed to me spending time with her, and we often visited him, when she had rather not.
In fact it became a big deal to her, and was a big reason for our troubles, but you know what, he’s been gone for quite a while now, she is still around, and if I had to do it again, I would spend more time with him, cause once he’s gone, he’s gone.

[Nani Kai]

Originally Posted by Snowind

...... plan to sail her up the East Coast to the Chesapeake Bay. We plan to be in the Gulfstream 5-7 days straight during the almost 1000 mile trip. Kurt

We just made this very trip, Florida to the Chesapeake, in our Leopard 39 Catamaran. We left Marsh Harbor, Bahamas, on April 5th crossed the Gulf Stream and made land fall in Port Orange, Florida. From there we alternated between motoring the ICW and sailing on the outside up to Deale, Maryland arriving on May 3rd. We much preferred sailing but there were many days when it just wasn't possible due to weather.

We were definitely in delivery mode, just as you plan to be. We had a minimum of 3 crew on board the entire way and for one portion we had a fourth crew member. Everybody worked, no one needed special attention, we were an experienced crew.

It still took us 3 weeks to complete the East Coast portion of the trip and we started much further north than you are planning to do. I understand that your plan is to run 24hrs/day for 5-7 days, which we did not do. We ran on more of a 12hr/day schedule although we did have a couple of 24-30hr days. I believe it will take you much longer than the days you have budgeted based on my very recent experience.

That's just information for the data banks and to possibly assist you in your planning.

As for your father going along I think in concept it's decidedly a lovely thing to do. If it's possible to include him in a new adventure you would be giving him an inestimable gift.

Pragmatically it might not be such an easy choice. I wonder if your wife's reluctance is based on her concerns for who will take care of him if thing's go awry. Is she currently the primary one who provides care for your father? Maybe she doesn't want the responsibility or feels unqualified to care for someone she loves in what could be a life threatening situation.

Whatever you decide I believe the toughest decision for both of you is are you willing to accept responsibility for your father's life or serious injury by bringing him along. For me and my dad, I would say the decision is up to him. If he was willing I would be willing.

Hope this helps. PM me if you would like further information relating to the trip.

[WindwardPrinces]

I say take the dad, and leave the wife if you have to.

You've got very limited time with the dad, and he knows this.

The wife needs to take a bigger picture view, and get a grip. Probably worth adjusting the trip to hops if necessary. See how it goes on the first hop.

You won't get a redo on this one. There's a cost, but the payoff is priceless for all of you, I'll bet.

[mickt243]

It all depends on how capable your dad is physically.

I know 50year olds not fit enough for an afternoon in a power cruiser.

The closest example of what your trip involves, for me isn’t ocean related at all. But bear with me. I used todo a lot of pest control shooting for national parks. Some of it in remote areas and mountainous terrain. Always took at least one companion. Mick was a small Irishman in his late 80’s when we met, not much bigger than a leprechaun. He had been a long time member of our organisation and I was a newcomer he invited on a trip. I figured he’d just be along for the ride so to speak - boy was I wrong. He could get up and down the hills better than me (late 20’s at the time), was a better shot, a better bushman and a better hunter than me. I learned heaps from him, we had many successful trips. Last I saw him he was 96, on his third hip (kept wearing them out, no falls etc) and still in the field every other week. Unfortunately I missed his last trip (airforce, got moved interstate)and I still miss him.

My vote - if he’s capable, take him. He’s a navy guy, he should be able to give you a no bs answer on capability. Maybe do a short trip beforehand as a tryout?

[sanibel sailor]

I had a trans-Atlantic trip planned. 28 footer. Planned to go solo but my wife asked me to take crew. I offered to my father who was in his early 70s but quite arthritic. We did a sea trial, 24 hours out of the Chesapeake to the Gulf Stream, turned around and came back. It convinced both of us of his suitability for the trip. Nevertheless, I was expecting him to jump ship in Bermuda. He stayed aboard, was great throughout and it was literally transformative for our relationship. One of the highlights of my life so far.


You might want to try a one day trial out into the ocean. Maybe from Ft Myers to Dry Tortugas or Key West. Ferry to mainland if it does not work out. I know timing is tight, but it might answer a lot of questions, allay or confirm fears and make decision making easier.