41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

[ShaktisBoy]

The wife and I left Colorado in December last year to do just that. We sold everything we could sell, house, cars, motorcycle, ATVs etc, but I kept my tools which are extensive and kind of handy to have on a residence that is permantly floating in salt water.

If you are handy with tools it will save you a ton of money.

The journey getting here was years in the making, "by the way I turned 46 in December". I have been around boats all of my life so I already had some idea of what works and more importantly what would work for my wife who doesn't have as much experience in such matters. To start off *I took her chartering for a couple of years 2007 - 2008. We chartered both Monos and Multis and she took to that like a fish to water. Next we bought a 30 foot sailboat and outfitted her to cruise off the grid for weeks at a time.

With both of us getting 2 weeks vacation at a time twice a year we found ourselves wanting way more time aboard than our employment allowed. This fact along with some of the feelings you mentioned of being stuck in a pointless rat race led us both to believe this dream was worth a try. *My schedule in regards to time off *however is much better than hers so I was able to do routine maintenance on the boat in Florida every couple of weeks.

I guess what Im trying to say is you will need a plan of action for how to go from living the normal life on shore to life afloat and if you're not going to make the move alone take a serious look at your other half. Once we decided to sell everything and make the move things went quickly. We already had a short list of boats we would want for a full time liveaboard and as luck would have it one of them was available and acceptable about the time the house was closing. The New boat cost more than the proceeds from the sale of everything brought so we still work although she works from the anchorage. Needless to say her morning commute got much shorter.

We anticipate another 3 years or so before we can really just takeoff but for now the priority is pay off the boat and build a cruising fund. Now 6 months into the new life afloat I can honestly say there weren't any real surprises *for me and my wife reports her only surprise was how long it took after moving aboard to get things the way she likes.

We purchased. 40 foot Leopard catamaran owners version which was already pretty well fitted out. That however didn't stop us from adding a few extras that we needed for her work and to make things a little more like our old life. For instance we need decent internet access for her to work remotely. $500 later i had a wifi booster temporarily installed but it looked cheesy. Soooo out comes the wallet and $2000 later an arch from atlantic towers is purchased to mount the equipment on. But wait...... We eventually wanted a wind generator to help with our admittedly high power requirements and I didn't want to have to take the tower down to install the new generator! Soooo out comes the wallet and presto $800 dollars later a new wind generator arrives with the arch.

But wait there's more! We live in the mooring field in the lake worth lagoon not at the marina "by choice" we could afford the marina but we cant really be called people people. Anyway the leopard comes with two black water holding tanks each holding about 22 gallons. Figure 2 gallons per toilet use and .... Well pump out or off shore to dump becomes a very frequent chore. Soooo out comes the wallet and another $900 is spent on a composting head. But wait theres more. The boat holds approximately*200 gallons of water but we still like to takeoff to remote areas and we like long showers away from civilization without having to worry about how much water is left. Soooo out comes the wallet and $5000 is spent on a watermaker. The point is you will want to make the new boat yours and it is going to cost you something.

Could we have done it cheaper? Sure! One guy in our anchorage just built a PVC arch for under $150.00 Would we be satisfied with a PVC arch "I think not" but he is and more power to him. He is obviously more penny wise than I. *Was our choice to make this move worth it? Only time will tell. We love it so far but obviously its not a financially wise decision. Its a life experience decision. At the very least On my death bed I will be able to look back and say ya I did that!

[JRM]

Just a note from someone in a somewhat but not quite similar situation, although a few years ahead in the process and a year or so behind on the age...

My old man had always talked about cruising the world, but he always put our family first. My mom loves boats, mostly the idea of boats, and coastal cruising for a few weeks at a time generally with a stop at Avalon at some point. My little sister is petrified of the ocean. Won't even let my nieces take a day sail with us, and has been that way her whole life. So my dad shelved the world cruising dream. But if you ask, he doesn't consider his life a failure, quite the opposite. He did as much boating as he could, and loved every minute of it. And so did I. Looking back, the times I spent on the water with my dad are some of my most cherished, and my dream is that years from now my son feels the same.

The point being that what I have learned most about trying to become a cruiser is this: It's the journey not the destination. You need to look at as a mindset, a process, and a lifestyle that is to be experienced, not a goal to be accomplished. And it requires patience. Especially on the home front.

If you can't find some enjoyment where you are, you aren't going to find it where you aren't. And unless you are independently wealthy, you're going to lean on that knack for finding happiness to keep you going through the refit process. I'm typing this from the wreck of my salon right now, procrastinating from crawling back into the engine space to finish crimping the new AC electrical system I installed.

I put up a picture of my family out at the Channel Islands last year on this boat before I started the refit. I have a copy in my locker at work, and it's the background on my phone. When stuff goes wrong, I look at the picture and remember that trip. It's not Bora Bora, but it's us, on our boat. And I'm fine with that. I have plans to be in Tahiti someday for Bastille Day, and I'm diligently working toward that. But if all I ever get is to spend time with my wife and kid, even just in the marina, this whole cruising thing will be a success. My dad taught me that.

JRM

[thomm225]

Originally Posted by JRM

Just a note from someone in a somewhat but not quite similar situation, although a few years ahead in the process and a year or so behind on the age...

My old man had always talked about cruising the world, but he always put our family first. My mom loves boats, mostly the idea of boats, and coastal cruising for a few weeks at a time generally with a stop at Avalon at some point. My little sister is petrified of the ocean. Won't even let my nieces take a day sail with us, and has been that way her whole life. So my dad shelved the world cruising dream. But if you ask, he doesn't consider his life a failure, quite the opposite. He did as much boating as he could, and loved every minute of it. And so did I. Looking back, the times I spent on the water with my dad are some of my most cherished, and my dream is that years from now my son feels the same.

The point being that what I have learned most about trying to become a cruiser is this: It's the journey not the destination. You need to look at as a mindset, a process, and a lifestyle that is to be experienced, not a goal to be accomplished. And it requires patience. Especially on the home front.

If you can't find some enjoyment where you are, you aren't going to find it where you aren't. And unless you are independently wealthy, you're going to lean on that knack for finding happiness to keep you going through the refit process. I'm typing this from the wreck of my salon right now, procrastinating from crawling back into the engine space to finish crimping the new AC electrical system I installed.

I put up a picture of my family out at the Channel Islands last year on this boat before I started the refit. I have a copy in my locker at work, and it's the background on my phone. When stuff goes wrong, I look at the picture and remember that trip. It's not Bora Bora, but it's us, on our boat. And I'm fine with that. I have plans to be in Tahiti someday for Bastille Day, and I'm diligently working toward that. But if all I ever get is to spend time with my wife and kid, even just in the marina, this whole cruising thing will be a success. My dad taught me that.

JRM

This guy's got the right idea..........

[sailorboy1]

I think it is time to take a deep breath and think out how it will all play all over the next 30 years. While not living in the fear of doing, it is still good to have given some thought to all the "what ifs" as some of them are going to happen.

[Bluewaters2812]

I'm 53 and my wife is in her forties. We are moving aboard in a few weeks ... busy transferring funds now to finalise the purchase. Go for it because you only live once. Its also an opportunity to show your kids a different lifestyle, interest and a different world, a healthy one at that. Good luck and fair winds when you find your boat. Maybe we meet on the water out there some day, who knows. If I die while doing this I will die happy because we took up the challenge and above all else, we will have LIVED!

[boatman61]

Originally Posted by JRM

The point being that what I have learned most about trying to become a cruiser is this: It's the journey not the destination. You need to look at as a mindset, a process, and a lifestyle that is to be experienced, not a goal to be accomplished. And it requires patience. Especially on the home front.
JRM

Damn...... its not often I come across folk as smart as this guy...

[Carolina Blue]

Originally Posted by skipmac

True and very relevant to the issue. I went through a similar situation in my first marriage. Should never have married the woman and consider myself so lucky that I came away with no children from that relationship.

In retrospect, her leaving was the best thing that could have happened to me and pretty directly lead to me becoming a sailor. Maybe I need to thank her for that.

Skip, You are preaching to the choir. I think I would have done things differently, "If I knew then what i know now". I refuse to speak ill of her because, unlike your situation, we have 3 kids and have struggled through some tough times together in 12 years of marriage. Just not compatible has a healthy loving relationship between man and wife.

There is much I could say but I will stick to the issues that relate to Boating: When I would stop buy boating shows she would either sit in the car or come look at the price tag, turn and walk-off. When I would stop a dealers that sell boats and say "Look! Look! Look! I really like that. Maybe oneday we can get it." She wouldn't look up from her cellphone or just look up long enough to pacify me. Me Boating or Sailing has been a core deep desire way before she came around. But she didn't take that seriously. I believe that anything is possible if you work for it and i thought that she and I would work toward both of our dreams. Of course I could take up boating for a summer and absolutely hate it, I hope this is not the case but i will prepare for it as an option.

I realized that in our marriage all of her desires are coming true but none of mine. Can you say Fed up and ready to raise my kids and go for the life I would like. Even if I have to struggle, I will be struggling for my vision.

Let me know if this needs to go under a different Forum Topic

[Carolina Blue]

Originally Posted by JRM

Just a note from someone in a somewhat but not quite similar situation, although a few years ahead in the process and a year or so behind on the age...

My old man had always talked about cruising the world, but he always put our family first. My mom loves boats, mostly the idea of boats, and coastal cruising for a few weeks at a time generally with a stop at Avalon at some point. My little sister is petrified of the ocean. Won't even let my nieces take a day sail with us, and has been that way her whole life. So my dad shelved the world cruising dream. But if you ask, he doesn't consider his life a failure, quite the opposite. He did as much boating as he could, and loved every minute of it. And so did I. Looking back, the times I spent on the water with my dad are some of my most cherished, and my dream is that years from now my son feels the same.

The point being that what I have learned most about trying to become a cruiser is this: It's the journey not the destination. You need to look at as a mindset, a process, and a lifestyle that is to be experienced, not a goal to be accomplished. And it requires patience. Especially on the home front.

If you can't find some enjoyment where you are, you aren't going to find it where you aren't. And unless you are independently wealthy, you're going to lean on that knack for finding happiness to keep you going through the refit process. I'm typing this from the wreck of my salon right now, procrastinating from crawling back into the engine space to finish crimping the new AC electrical system I installed.

I put up a picture of my family out at the Channel Islands last year on this boat before I started the refit. I have a copy in my locker at work, and it's the background on my phone. When stuff goes wrong, I look at the picture and remember that trip. It's not Bora Bora, but it's us, on our boat. And I'm fine with that. I have plans to be in Tahiti someday for Bastille Day, and I'm diligently working toward that. But if all I ever get is to spend time with my wife and kid, even just in the marina, this whole cruising thing will be a success. My dad taught me that.

JRM

That's Powerful stuff, Thanks JRM

[Teknav]

From personal security point of view, you guys should really refrain from spilling your guts on here. It is not a good idea for the world to know about your private lives. I realize that there's a lot of frustration built up over the years, and in the long run this might hasten a new path on life. I just do not trust the internet. You should think things out, prior to hanging out the dirty laundry. If it is comfort to one and all, I don't think anyone of us had a life full of roses and sparkling rainbows...but we keep on trucking...errr flying/sailing! Hang in there!
Mauritz

[In Training]

Just a comment to Carolina Blue.

My husband used to talk about getting boats also -- but he always looked at boats we could not afford and never had a way to finance both of us quitting our jobs and leaving. We had 4 kids to put thru college so I just let him talk and looked as little as I had to at whatever his idea was at the time and kept on plodding along to get our kids raised.

Fast forward 20 years, now I know someone who did it and was shown used boats that we can afford. Only 3 years from retirement with sufficient income not to have to worry.

Now I can't get my husband to sell all of our properties fast enough.

Please look at why she isn't interested and make sure your dream is realistic. She just may be more practical and won't waste a lot of time and energy unless you can show how it can really be done.

I guess I am saying put a little more time into the planning stage and then bring the subject up so that she can see it is a real possibility and not just a dream.

[thomm225]

Your problem can be cured rather quickly. I'm hoping you are still married, but I haven't read the entire thread. Where are you located?

This month in Ft Walton Beach, FL there is a 100 mile catamaran race. It will give you all you want as far as sailing and being on the water and after you finish you will be ready to meet the wife and kids for a nice dinner (or breakfast depending on how long it takes to finish) If you do not have a boat, put a post on Catsailor saying you will crew.

A small racing catamaran that tops out at around 23 knots can be had for a song. Maybe $2,000-$7,000 and will give you all the water time you need.

I have done the race 4X. (finishing in 12-20 hours) I was lucky enough to do it with my son twice. Once in 1997 (when he was 15) on a NACRA 6.0 and another time in maybe 2003. The other 2X I did it alone on a singlehander NACRA F17 with spinnaker. Just to give you an idea about these boats, they have about the same sail area as my 6600 lb Bristol 27 but weight around 300lbs.

There may already be catamaran sailing where you are. This can hold you over until you can get your big boat.

Btw, I raced these boats for about 15 years and now when I cruise say 25 miles (and it does get rather boring) I ask myself, am I really a cruising sailor? Maybe I need an Olson 30 or something because jeez..........this is very slow.

2013 NACRA F17:

http://www.nacrasailing.com/nacra-17...the-year-2013/


Check it out:

www.catsailor.com

www.thebeachcats.com

[thomm225]

Better pictures:

Google Image Result for http://www.nacra.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/nacraf17oneup012.jpg

Google Image Result for http://www.nacra.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/nacraf17oneup001.jpg

NACRA 6.0 Video:

Nacra 6.0 sailing catamaran - The best of - YouTube

Btw, these guys are not experienced. They are too far back and the bows are up.

The F16 is the boat of today though for cat sailors: (The 6.0 is a '90's boat) Show your wife this one!
Also note that block on the main, it's probably 7 to 1 lots of power on that sail.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqFzPoaDQ4g

Btw, you can sail the F16 singlehanded or double and use the spinnaker either way!!!!!!!!!!

[settlednomad]

I joined this forum 4 years ago for the first time as a married man, working hard, living in the north of France and with a little bit of sailing experience behind me. The dream was there but I wasn't as driven or as focused and allowed myself to be shackled by society.

Today I'm divorced, still working though less hard and for more money, living in the south of France with quite a bit of sailing experience and a few courses under my belt to boot. This isn't to tell you to get divorced, just to say that life changes quickly so just go for it. Chase the dream...

I have now commissioned a survey of a boat in the Caribbean and, if all goes to plan, will fly out to buy it in September at the end of this project I'm working. After that I don't know: sail the Caribbean, sail the world, live aboard and be happy at the boat's mooring - I just want to be on the water :-)

Good luck on your chosen path...

[Unkle Toad]

I like everything LBH said there especially

Originally Posted by LBH49520

After that I don't know: sail the Caribbean, sail the world, live aboard and be happy at the boat's mooring - I just want to be on the water :-)

that is the attitude I am taking. at least trying to.

[auscruisertom]

There is some dreamer in all of us sailors. Before you sail of sailing of into the sunset Make very sure you can handle motion are not frightened of sailing at night , or in a thunderstorm, can handle some sleepless nights know your navigation, and I just don't mean reading a GPS. I was lucky and sailed many years and sea miles. before I had a family. I would not trade having and keeping a family for anything. Now my kids are grown up and I am getting ready to sail again. Cheers Tom