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Old 05-06-2013, 00:46   #61
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

Cruising on $500 per Month . . .

Shoestring Sailors (Cruising on $500 per month - part II)

This should make for some good reading for you the next few years
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Old 05-06-2013, 01:22   #62
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

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Hello all, I am 41 and am seeking to jump out of the rat race and seek a life of adventure. I know this seems a bit idealistic but after all these years of complete unhappiness with clock-in clock-out, "yes, Sir" because your my superior, "Do it!" because I am your superior. Work, Soccer, Home; Work, Soccer, Home; Rinse and Repeat. I AM FED UP. I want to live the life I always dreamed of. Since a kid I though I would have a yacht and be exploring the world. I still want to be a good father to my kids but I must LIVE. This not just a rant and I will pose a question shortly but please let me qualify my self first. I have never been into Getting Rich or living the "so-called" American Dream. My life dream has been Happiness and Freedom. Of these, I have found little. I have been different than most people I meet in the since that I have not desire to be "Still" but have moved around and sought adventure but within the restraints of maintaining the 40hour per week job and a roof (that i didn't want; I wanted a damn boat).

Here are the questions or requests for feedback:
(1) Are there other over Forties out there that have made such a life change? Please share some Pros and Cons.

(2) Anyone else feel free to add your Pro and Cons; Hell, you can even Debunk the Myth of Adventure if you want.

(3) What are Options for a person that is not super rich? (but I don't see this stopping me. Stubborn)

Thanks all,


Keep watching my posts, I am 44yo and I was dissapointed in life. I looked around me and saw nothing but greed, drugs, misery and violence. I took the plunge a few weeks ago, took out a big loan and bought my boat. She is not the prettiest boat in the marina but she is solid and very seaworthy. The first thing I found in the marina is that everybody has advice, and I am like a sponge, I listen to everything and at the end of the day I can say to myself, I am the skipper, I will do it this way. Life comes once, this is not a training ground for the next life, do what you feel you should, there is far too much wasted life out there ....... Live my friend, live.
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Old 05-06-2013, 01:52   #63
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

How badly do you want this ? Real bad ? You may have to make some selfish decisions now, that in a few years will have you asking why you had not done this earlier.

There is no one path, to achieve the freedom from the rat race.

I would argue it starts with dissatisfaction initially and then only the very brave and few take the next step of tearing down the ties and thinking that has conditioned one to live in the rat race. The needs and wants of that life take some determination to eradicate.

all the very best.
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:10   #64
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I am on this path.

"Living your dream" can take many forms. Accumulating wealth and toys, restoring antique cars, traveling the world, having your dream job.

Casting off with a sailboat is perhaps unique in that I'd argue its the most within reach. It's a (relatively) cheap dream. It takes palace in a community where those have gone before you have richly documented the process and there is a support network to achieve it. It's an easier dream to fulfill, because ultimately, and one of the things that attracts my wife to it, it's about living simpler and getting rid of things rather than accumulating things.

Interestingly, the biggest hurdle to overcome is fear. It's such a very different life that the fear of the many unknown aspects stop people doing it.

All it takes is a tiny tiny mental adjustment from "I'd like to do this" to "I am doing this."

We crossed that mental threshold and are leaving on our version of this dream in about 14 months, with our three young boys. You can read our story at www.sailingwithkids.net

We don't have much money, we have three over active crew, we know little about sailing or maintenance or navigation.

We planned.

We both took sailing courses. We read and researched. We bought a smaller bought and gained experience on a Great Lake. We dragged the kids out for longer outings. We charted twice in the BVI. We have saved and made adjustments in our careers.

It's taken 2-3 years, but now we are ready. We have a boat fit to do the Carib1500 to Tortola and spend a year as our own Pirates of the Carribean.

I hope you are able to make that small mental shift, and if you do, you will feel suddenly different and maybe we will meet you at a beach bar somewhere. We'll be the ones letting three feral boys run up and down the beach to the annoyance of mega yachters while we sip our dark and stormys.
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:11   #65
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Forgot to mention, I am am 42
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:46   #66
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

Good luck with whatever you decide. I have been sailing commercially for 20 years and really appreciate my time on the water. There are reveal times I have wished the wife and kids could be out here with me but for us it's just not in the works right now.

While I would encourage you to try it out, don't wreck your family over it. Take your time and do it right so it's long lasting and worth the effort.

Edit- I'm also 42 .
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Old 05-06-2013, 07:30   #67
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

Just do it. We (my wife and our 4 dogs) uprooted ourselves after a long life of slaving and moved to Roatan Island sailing our CSY44 down to here from Florida. You will never be "ready" so you may as well just proceed. We are not rich nor shall we ever be money wise but now feel very rich in life! Of late we will be selling our sailboat to move into a trawler and begin cruising the ICW system around the Gulf Coast and then up the East Coast. Yes it is a turn but I think we are done with open ocean sailing, even though it has been wonderful... Family is important and one of the reasons why we are returning to the US, certainly not because we miss the rat race!

Mark
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:01   #68
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

Looks like you might want to just get a boat first and do a few weekenders. See how that goes, then go for a week. Then maybe you can make a decent decision on whether or not life on a boat is all it's cracked up to be.

Like clocking in and out at work. You know exactly when Miller Time has arrived. It's not the same story on a boat while sailing. Your day may be over at 5pm or 5pm the next day depending on the conditions etc............it's just different is all and you need a few more details/experiences so you can make a decision.
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Old 05-06-2013, 08:29   #69
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

Enjoy boating while you can afford it and are in good health. As one ages, he/she becomes less lumber and gets tired more often; very difficult to maintain the boat due to medical issues. When that day arrives, you'll return back to a home on Terra firma. For the time being, live your life to the max as tomorrow is another day! Sail away! Mauritz
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:30   #70
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

One thing that has not been mentioned by the cheer leaders here are the children. I know in your mind you have this elaborate plan on how you intend to integrate them into your new, bold life-style. I was married for 10 years on and off with someone I had no business being with. I had made a grave mistake marrying her. We had a son who is 29 now. I can tell you that he struggled for years. I'm sure it changed him in ways that otherwise would not have happened.
Although all the well wishers encouraged me on, it did little to change a bad situation. I had him every other weekend and every Wednesday. I wish I could have done better. For mr, it was a terrible price to pay. I will tell you one thing...it forced me to grow up some and see the consequences of my actions.
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:53   #71
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

Quote:
Originally Posted by Celestialsailor View Post
Cruising on $500 per Month . . .

Shoestring Sailors (Cruising on $500 per month - part II)

This should make for some good reading for you the next few years
Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa. Beat you to it. Posted both of those links in message #18.
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Old 05-06-2013, 10:02   #72
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

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One thing that has not been mentioned by the cheer leaders here are the children. I know in your mind you have this elaborate plan on how you intend to integrate them into your new, bold life-style. I was married for 10 years on and off with someone I had no business being with. I had made a grave mistake marrying her. We had a son who is 29 now. I can tell you that he struggled for years. I'm sure it changed him in ways that otherwise would not have happened.
Although all the well wishers encouraged me on, it did little to change a bad situation. I had him every other weekend and every Wednesday. I wish I could have done better. For mr, it was a terrible price to pay. I will tell you one thing...it forced me to grow up some and see the consequences of my actions.
This I think is the most important question the OP needs to ask himself. Most parents living with children on boats are very happy with the situation and the children when grown seem mostly happy with the results. However, it isn't for every child or parent and I think Carolina Blue should be prepared to make a serious decision if the family is not compatible with the cruising dream. May come down to giving up one or the other.

I lived on a boat with my family until my daughter was almost 2. At that point my wife insisted we move back on land and raise our daughter in a more conventional environment. Not my choice but I went along, sold the boat and gave up sailing for 30 years.

Guess it worked out well since my daughter is now a doctor, married and seems pretty happy with her situation. How would things have worked out if we had stayed on the boat? No way to tell. Now I'm lucky to still be in reasonable health and am preparing to go off and do it again. Sometimes patience and hard work is rewarded.
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Old 05-06-2013, 10:03   #73
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

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Nyaa, nyaa, nyaa. Beat you to it. Posted both of those links in message #18.
Ya...but nobody posted what I did in #69
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Old 05-06-2013, 10:18   #74
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

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Ya...but nobody posted what I did in #69
True and very relevant to the issue. I went through a similar situation in my first marriage. Should never have married the woman and consider myself so lucky that I came away with no children from that relationship.

In retrospect, her leaving was the best thing that could have happened to me and pretty directly lead to me becoming a sailor. Maybe I need to thank her for that.
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Old 05-06-2013, 11:23   #75
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Re: 41 Year Old and Seeking a New Life in Sailing

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(...) I may dream but I must keep the goals realistic.
Dream big or not at all.

I think: as long as you do things so that you can step back, adjust, try again, till you get what you want, there is no risk of doing any harm to others.

The risky part is where people 'get enough' and dive head first into something they believe will change the whole game. The point is, it will not, for the 'enough' and the 'dream' are all part of the same brain that is simply looking for NEW distractions. A cat is chasing its own tail.

41 is a dangerous time: some will preach, others will go into sailing. I know for I was 41 once.

Sailing, especially its sailing part, is fun. Use it to charge your emotional batteries. Steer clear of the reefs of boat ownership, marina fees and maintenance challenges.

Dream big. Go the Moorings (name generic, I am not associated) way.

b.
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