Where I live. CT and long island sound
sailing I'm looking at a J109. Not so wife friendly but friendly enough for light cruising to the block and the vineyard. The advantage of a J is that they are fast and fun to sail. The asymm is the selling point for me. I need less experienced crew to sail an asymm than a symetrical spinnaker
It depends where your sailing. Heavy blue water
boats are great but on LIS. You need a boat
that can move in 5 -10knts of air. Those blue water
boats are too slow.
Here there are lots of J fleets so casual racing
is always available.