A long read but worth it if you like dead cat stories
Diary of an Alice Springs Summer (by a Pom)
Just got transferred with work into our new home in Alice Springs!! Now
this is a city that knows how to live!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck
chair on the
verandah It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it here.
up. Got to 35 today. Not a problem. Live in an
air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car. What a pleasure to see
the sun everyday like this. I'm turning into a sun worshiper.
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today. Lots of palms and
rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing lawn for me. Another
scorcher today, but I love it here.
The temperature hasn't been below 35 all week. How do people get used to
this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy though. But getting
used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 60% of my body. Missed
3 days of work. What a dumb thing to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to
respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.
I missed Kitty (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left this morning.
By the time I got to the hot car for lunch, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping
bag and stank up the $3,000 leather upholstery. I
told the kids
that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat
****. I learned my lesson though. No more pets
in this heat.
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant ****in blow dryer!! And it's hot as
hell. The home air-conditioner is on the blink and the AC repairman charged
$200 just to drive over and tell me he needed to order parts
Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. Bloody $300,000 house
and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here?
It's 38 degrees. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed today. It cost
$500 and gets the temperature down to 25, but the bloody humidity makes the
house feel like it's about 30. Stupid repairman. I hate this stupid ****in
If another wise arse cracks, "Hot enough for you today?" I'm going to
****in throttle him. ****in heat! By the time I get to work the car's
radiator was boiling over, my clothes are soakin ****in wet, and I smell
like baked cat!!
Tried to run some messages after work. Wore shorts, and sat on the black
leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ****in arse was on fire. I
2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and my ****in
arse. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried arse, and baked cat.
The weather report might as well be a ****in recording. Hot and sunny. Hot
and sunny. Hot and ****in sunny. It's been too hot to do anything for 2
damn months and the weatherman says it might really warm up next week.
Doesn't it ever rain in this damn ****in place? Water rationing will be
next, so my $2,000 worth of palms just might dry up and blow into the
pool. Even the palms can't live in this ****in heat.
Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 41 today. Now the air-conditioner's
gone in my car. The repairman came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you
today?" My wife had to spend the $2,500 mortgage payment to bail my arse
out of jail for assulting the stupid ****er. **** Alice Springs! What
of a sick demented ****in idiot would want to live here?
WHAT????? This is the first day of Summer???? You are ****in kiddin