1. Take your passports and boat papers to BVI C&I, either in Soper's Hole (West End) or Great Harbour on Jost van Dyke. There are supposedly new regulations
that everyone aboard must present themselves, but as of last week they haven't been enacted/enforced, so just the Captain
goes into the offices. Clear out.
2. The US won't let you clear in if you don't have outbound clearance papers. They'll send you back - if you are lucky. If you aren't lucky, you'll be charged with a criminal offence.
3. Yes, only U.S. Citizens and LPR can enter the U.S. by vessel without a visa. Even citizens of countries that can fly to the USA with the visa waiver program need a tourist visa.
4. That loophole does work and is legal
. I asked the C&I people in Cruz Bay about that when I cleared in (I have a Visa, so it didn't apply to me) and it is still valid.
When you clear in at Cruz Bay you need to ensure that everyone aboard joins you, they must all present themselves in person to the C&I officials and they'll get fingerprinted and retina scanned.