Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 29-12-2013, 05:59   #121
Senior Cruiser
 
Wendi's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Boulder, Colorado
Boat: Lagoon 380
Posts: 164
Send a message via Skype™ to Wendi
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sailpower View Post
Congratulations! You did it and once again the armchair sailors didn't.

And you are still getting free advice about what you should have done!

Well done.
At the ARC there were many people who read my story about wanting to join the last minute and they were all very supportive, since the ones sitting at home were so critical of my desire to get it on.
__________________

__________________
Wendi Friesen

A mile high these days. Need to get back to sea level soon.
Wendi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 06:05   #122
Senior Cruiser
 
Wendi's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Boulder, Colorado
Boat: Lagoon 380
Posts: 164
Send a message via Skype™ to Wendi
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

I just arrived home after 6 weeks. The entire experience was well worth it, especially the time spent together as we all arrived in St Lucia. The last boat to arrive was Beagle on Christmas day, taking 31 days to arrive. They were out there in the horrendous storm on the 24th that destroyed much of St Lucia's roads, bridges, closed the airport and damaged many houses. When they arrived we had about 100 people running to their dock for the biggest reception group ever.
I did have my crew difficulties, but I was not the only one who had to endure the crazy crew issues.

Everything was done in a hurry since i had just purchased the boat, but it all worked out and we had very little damage. This ARC was punishing to many boats and damage was big for some. Even with the crazy crew, I feel very grateful that I did it, made it happen, survived and made some amazing new friends.

Would I do it again?
Not sure...
__________________

__________________
Wendi Friesen

A mile high these days. Need to get back to sea level soon.
Wendi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 06:10   #123
CF Adviser
Moderator Emeritus
 
Hud3's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Virginia
Boat: Island Packet 380, now sold
Posts: 8,929
Images: 49
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Hi, Wendi.

Your ARC passage should have been a lot of fun. It's really too bad your crew didn't take the opportunity to enjoy it, and turned it into an ordeal for you.

Now...time to update your blog! My wife and I spent two seasons cruising up and down the islands, and I'm looking forward to reading your take on the experience.
__________________
Hud
Hud3 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 09:09   #124
Moderator
 
HappyMdRSailor's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Mississippi
Boat: 48 Wauquiez Pilot Saloon-C22 Chrysler Sunpiper- 19 Potter-Preparing to cruise w/my girl
Posts: 5,980
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

A dance party crew who loved cooperation... high fives... games... jokes... Tunes.... and simple gratitude would have made the trip a completely different affair....

One I'm sure you couldn't wait to repeat!

I would have insisted that the dyneema on your main for the halyard be replaced though.... I can be such a party pooper...

Welcome Back!
__________________
In the harsh marine environment, something is always in need of repair...

Mai Tai's fix everything...
HappyMdRSailor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 11:13   #125
Nearly an old salt
 
goboatingnow's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 13,649
Images: 3
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

As a delivery skipper in the past, I can sympathise with several sides of your tale. I think you probably underestimated the challenge of ocean sailing, its not the sailing thats at issue, its the challenge living with people in a space the size of under the stairs.

I think the "get off the boat" immediately argument is unfortunate, Crew on long trips, especially where they are stressed and tired, build a connection with the vessel, they view it as much as " their " vessel as you do. They have to be "let down "gracefully , given a few ( 2-4 days) to unwind and detach themselves from the boat. This is despite your desire to " get your boat back" , I think you could have handled that better quite frankly , but Id say it was a learning experience. Clearly the Skipper attempts at the letter stuff was quite bizarre, but I can see the issues in their mind, it the way they went about it that was way off beam.

My own answer would have been to placate them to get them to St. Lucia, agree they could stay for a few days, then deal with the issue on shore after everyone gets some sleep and the elation dies down. Most likely they would have seen the logic anyway and moved on anyway. most temp crew do. Its very hard on long distance crew to be chucked off the boat the instant it gets to the destination. it happens , I avoid it ( and I make that clear with the owner at the start). On short trips yes its standard stuff and its no issue. ( I allow about a day/day and a half, per week of sailing )

The last week is the most stressful one on the ARC, the expectation of landfall often disrupts watches and sleep and hence tiredness build. Once you see crew beginning to fail to maintain some sleep that should set off major warning bells. Beyond a certain point, tiredness causes psychological changes in peoples character and exposures personality traits, some of which can be alarming. I have dozens of such stories.


Putting crew together for a challenging crossing , I did one ARC where we had 40kts and huge swells and squalls all the way across too, is always a bit of pot luck , even crews that sail together or land-friends are no guarantee that the relationship will work, Tiredness plays a big part. You have to allow for it. At least you dodnt have the 40 to 40 roll for 3 weeks. !!

Furthermore as a delivery skipper , the big issue is that the owner MUST back off and not command the boat. You either rely on your skipper to skipper or you finish the contract and take over the job yourself, you can't dabble in it. Its why most delivery skippers hate having owners on board. ( and often vice versa)

I notice you struggled with the waves and darkness and sounds etc. Well I suggest you get used to it, all ocean or long distance crossings feature this. Learn to trust the boat. Learn to love the sea, I can spend hours watching it, and hours at night watching the stars. Im happiest when land falls away. If not you'll find deep sea sailing difficult and boring ( and it can be difficult and boring)

More ARC boats have more crew fall-outs then you can shake a stick at, and its a funny thing that character defects that are not obvious on land , can become huge issues at sea. I ve seen crews fights over incompetence, fear, sexual tension, odd personal characteristics, food, bedding, etc etc. You need a skipper with a strong hand and a good leadership style and you as owner if you are crew, then you must develop the mentality of crew. The boat isn't , for that time, yours.! ( harsh but true)

The fact is your skipper got you there in one piece, that can't be ignored. Your crew performed their jobs, even if there was obviously some interpersonal friction.

Ive sailed with all sorts of oddballs, they'd probably say them same thing about me!!. Ocean saying attracts the "type", if you need crew you have to learn how to manage it.

" but sunrises, sunsets, stars and 3 crew members who will become great friends. I am grateful. I am nervous. I will find out what I am made of."

Never assume crew will become friends or actually expect it, at the best they will, but often it never happens, nor is it necessary. As you develop your skills as skipper, you'll see this.

Great job and well done, learn from it, look at your own actions as well as theirs, Review and store away. I say you its was a learning experience !!!

Perhaps you'd be candid enough to summarise now at this remove , the lessons you learned.?


I must say the blog is racey!!

dave
__________________
Check out my new blog on smart boat technology, networking and gadgets for the connected sailor! - http://smartboats.tumblr.com
goboatingnow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 11:41   #126
Moderator
 
HappyMdRSailor's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Mississippi
Boat: 48 Wauquiez Pilot Saloon-C22 Chrysler Sunpiper- 19 Potter-Preparing to cruise w/my girl
Posts: 5,980
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Great comments Dave!!!!

Not sure how I would have handled the crew departure schedule .... But I can say for sure that once mutinous demands were made like that...

I would have done the exact same thing....
__________________
In the harsh marine environment, something is always in need of repair...

Mai Tai's fix everything...
HappyMdRSailor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 11:58   #127
Nearly an old salt
 
goboatingnow's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 13,649
Images: 3
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor View Post
Great comments Dave!!!!

Not sure how I would have handled the crew departure schedule .... But I can say for sure that once mutinous demands were made like that...

I would have done the exact same thing....
I really think , deep sea , with an obviously tired and emotional crew, ( who may have developed their owns view of you) , you have to be very careful about the "mutinous " line of thinking. This is not the bounty.

Long before its gets to that heated level of exchange, it should be headed off , with platitudes, vague concessions, even downright lies , if necessary . You have to realise whats playing in peoples heads and restore order and calm. Often the most reasonable and rational people , get extraordinary worked up, make wild demands, etc. Its a time for calmness, thought and often little action, remember Wendi was probably as stressed and tired and fraught as they were , its not a time for "reactions"

such situations should never be allowed to develop to that stage , remember she believed these people would be here friends, and funnily according to her blog , she got on reasonably well with them at the start.

Its a vey tricky situation, for a conflict between the owner and the skipper. especially if the owner can't sail the boat and the skipper knows it. It requires a careful thought process in the owners head.


Remember problems with crew are almost always down to leadership not the crew.
Dave
__________________
Check out my new blog on smart boat technology, networking and gadgets for the connected sailor! - http://smartboats.tumblr.com
goboatingnow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 12:03   #128
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK/Portugal
Posts: 20,203
Images: 2
Send a message via Skype™ to boatman61
pirate Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor View Post
Great comments Dave!!!!

Not sure how I would have handled the crew departure schedule .... But I can say for sure that once mutinous demands were made like that...

I would have done the exact same thing....
Having spent time with 3 of the 4 people in this story I found that Wendi had no issues with how long I stayed on the boat after she got there.. in fact it was another 3 days before I could head off.
She's easy going, cheerful and fun.. the couple I found a bit strange and to my mind control freaks after a fashion.. one would have thought they'd be picking the brains of the guy who'd just sailed the boat 2200 miles to Las Palmas as to the rig etc.. but no.. they'd wait till I'd gone ashore and I'd come back to find someone off one of the other boats giving these 'experienced ocean sailors' advice on how the systems worked.. strange folk.
As for their behaviour and consequent mutiny.. can't say I blame her.. the guys qualified for knuckle sandwich at the very least..
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 12:13   #129
Nearly an old salt
 
goboatingnow's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 13,649
Images: 3
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post
Having spent time with 3 of the 4 people in this story I found that Wendi had no issues with how long I stayed on the boat after she got there.. in fact it was another 3 days before I could head off.
She's easy going, cheerful and fun.. the couple I found a bit strange and to my mind control freaks after a fashion.. one would have thought they'd be picking the brains of the guy who'd just sailed the boat 2200 miles to Las Palmas as to the rig etc.. but no.. they'd wait till I'd gone ashore and I'd come back to find someone off one of the other boats giving these 'experienced ocean sailors' advice on how the systems worked.. strange folk.
As for their behaviour and consequent mutiny.. can't say I blame her.. the guys qualified for knuckle sandwich at the very least..

Given its you Phil. I take your opinion with a lot ot weight. SO yes Knuckle Sandwich , In fact I have a good story of when I had to knock out a crewman, in the middle of a big storm, its helps I'm 6'4"!

dave
__________________
Check out my new blog on smart boat technology, networking and gadgets for the connected sailor! - http://smartboats.tumblr.com
goboatingnow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 12:25   #130
Registered User
 
bbowers2004's Avatar

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Bahmamas
Boat: Westerly Centaur 26'
Posts: 298
Send a message via AIM to bbowers2004 Send a message via MSN to bbowers2004 Send a message via Yahoo to bbowers2004 Send a message via Skype™ to bbowers2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by boatman61 View Post

Having spent time with 3 of the 4 people in this story I found that Wendi had no issues with how long I stayed on the boat after she got there.. in fact it was another 3 days before I could head off.
She's easy going, cheerful and fun.. the couple I found a bit strange and to my mind control freaks after a fashion.. one would have thought they'd be picking the brains of the guy who'd just sailed the boat 2200 miles to Las Palmas as to the rig etc.. but no.. they'd wait till I'd gone ashore and I'd come back to find someone off one of the other boats giving these 'experienced ocean sailors' advice on how the systems worked.. strange folk.
As for their behaviour and consequent mutiny.. can't say I blame her.. the guys qualified for knuckle sandwich at the very least..
Some how this changes my outlook on the entire story
__________________
"My goal in sailing isn't to be brilliant or flashy in individual races, just to be consistent over the long run." - Dennis Conner
Follow our Globe Circumnavigation:
http://jillionsvoyage.blogspot.de/
bbowers2004 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 14:05   #131
Registered User
 
Prairie Chicken's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada or Spain
Boat: Jeanneau SO 43 DS
Posts: 1,116
Images: 1
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

A fascinating read Wendi. I'm glad it worked out in the end, but sorry your crossing was not a pleasant one. I wish you happier sailing days in future with lots of hugs & laughs.
__________________
Prairie Chicken
><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>¸.
`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`·...¸><((((º>`·.¸¸.·´¯`·.¸.·´¯`· ...¸><((((º>
Prairie Chicken is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 14:22   #132
Registered User
 
sailpower's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Posts: 784
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Quote:
Originally Posted by goboatingnow View Post
Given its you Phil. I take your opinion with a lot ot weight. SO yes Knuckle Sandwich , In fact I have a good story of when I had to knock out a crewman, in the middle of a big storm, its helps I'm 6'4"!

dave
Wow, good thing Phil showed up or else you would still be offering your unsolicited opinion based on what you, although not there, assume has to be true because Wendi certainly couldn’t be relied on to accurately describe or understand what happened on her boat because…….well, only you can do that.


If you bothered to read her blog you would know that she already tried most of your Dave approved strategies except for allowing the folks who had threatened to kidnap her to "decompress" on her boat at the end which IMO is one of the more stupid internet expert comments ever.


Some of you guys, not boatman, are really full of yourselves.
__________________
sailpower is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 14:35   #133
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
 
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK/Portugal
Posts: 20,203
Images: 2
Send a message via Skype™ to boatman61
pirate Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sailpower View Post

Some of you guys, not boatman, are really full of yourselves.
I'll have you know.. I'm as 'Full' as the best of em....
__________________


Born To Be Wild
boatman61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 15:56   #134
Senior Cruiser
 
Wendi's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Boulder, Colorado
Boat: Lagoon 380
Posts: 164
Send a message via Skype™ to Wendi
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Yea, I think Phil caught the vibe before I did. I was filled with hope when I arrived in Las Palmas.

Lessons- Meet in person before you choose a crew. There were a lot of great people on the docks wanting to crew, a real interview would give a better feel for the choice to be made.

Everyone does react differently under pressure, and without a connection or a reason to care about each other, there is no lovin, no reason to put a little heart into it. Find people who have a connection with you, and have a reason to keep the relationship good.

Get references. Even though a crew might not give you their bad references, even a person who they think will give them a good reference will still spill the beans to protect another boat owner.

So. The bad stuff fades away very quickly in the week after. I suspect it is due to the bonding, talking, stories and love that the ARC sailors feel from the experience. It dissolves the bad, you laugh about it and in just a few days (faster when infusing it with rum) it feels like we should do this again!

I love the ocean. Loved being away from land. Loved my midnight dolphins. Will love another crossing again, I am pretty sure. And I was right-- Girls For Sail were doing pedicures and had a one hour singalong to Queen. I knew it.

I'm still happy.

Wendi
__________________
Wendi Friesen

A mile high these days. Need to get back to sea level soon.
Wendi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 29-12-2013, 16:17   #135
Senior Cruiser
 
Wendi's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Boulder, Colorado
Boat: Lagoon 380
Posts: 164
Send a message via Skype™ to Wendi
Re: I'm in the ARC+ for November!

Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor View Post
A dance party crew who loved cooperation... high fives... games... jokes... Tunes.... and simple gratitude would have made the trip a completely different affair....

One I'm sure you couldn't wait to repeat!

I would have insisted that the dyneema on your main for the halyard be replaced though.... I can be such a party pooper...

Welcome Back!
Yup, that dyneema thing was a shock to me when I found out it was not replaced. I did not think I needed to insist, I thought it was a done deal when Jerry the Rigger came back to take care of it. The new one that Gijs and John put on with only one loop is very frayed now. I am surprised that one held up as long as it did.
__________________

__________________
Wendi Friesen

A mile high these days. Need to get back to sea level soon.
Wendi is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
arc

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:24.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.