1. In a decent breeze, you are going to the foredeck to unhook the
genoa sheet from where its stuck on the
hatch. You stand in dog poo. What do you do?
I forget what I went to the foredeck for and track down the dog, tracking the poo all over. Once the dog is found I drag it out to the deck and demostate the proper method for hanging your butt over the side while pooing. Then of course I rub its' nose in the poo.
2. It's your first meal inboard, and on your very first forkful, you see a dog hair. What do you do?
Kick the cook!
3. It's your watch. You decide yo make a cuppa, but as you look in the
cabin you see naked bodies sprawled over the main berth. What do you do?
Strip down because its "party time". Thanks for letting me know to pack the oil.
4. You'll need to cook maybe six times. But one of those
meals should be to Come Dine With Me standard. For the standard
budget of 100 rupees / Two pounds / three dollars per
head (4 people) per meal, what three course extravaganza would you prepare?
Be sure everyone was the "munchies" by using my special herbs.
5. How much do you love to clean bilges?
People clean those 
I thought that is when you are suppose to pee when below.
6. Where would you take the crew on a grand day out in Phuket?
Somewhere where all the nice little boys and girls can be found
7. Do you speak loud?
Never has been a problem and I have always been able to be heard over any other idiot trying to talk while I was
8. When can you apply for your Indian visa?
I have this "guy" down the street with his office in the back who says it can be ready by this afternoon
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