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Old 16-07-2014, 16:36   #331
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

You can wait and wait hoping for Mrs Right to come along. Only to find out that her first name is Always. Works the other way round as well of course. Mr Right has the same first name, but his surname then becomes Wrong.

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Old 16-07-2014, 16:45   #332
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

wonder if all this advise solved the problem

and who "won" - him, her, the boat
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Old 16-07-2014, 17:00   #333
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

Quote:
Originally Posted by sailorboy1 View Post
wonder if all this advise solved the problem

and who "won" - him, her, the boat
Well you can't go sailing unless you free the docklines.

Life is long but I am in the camp (in hindsight) that says you have to decide early and make the choice.

The tough reality is that you really "can't" have it all. What you can and can't have varies.

My observation is that any relationship with "control" issues is bedded on a foundation of insecurity.

If anything a relationship should be complimentary not contentious.
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Old 16-07-2014, 17:22   #334
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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Got a chuckle out of this... So your stuck in a corn field in "godforsaken Indiana" That amuses me... And be nice to my corn... It bough me a nice boat. And this fall when it's gone from the field I'll be gone to the boat it bought me. So see, when you think of corn as boat bucks it's really not so bad!
Sorry Tryrsh... I look across the road and I don't think boat - I think Monsanto. Warning, what I am about to say will probably piss you off...no bashing intended. When I think Monsanto and GMO, I think about the massive dumps of pesticides making the waters toxic, the soil barren, and mile-long list of negative side effects it has on the rest of the ecosystem. I think about the fact this dinky hole, with a town of 3,000 has 27 oncology docs - coincidence? I don't think boat, and never will. This moves into my next point.....

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The reality is, finding a land partner just based on people's personalities and differences is hard enough. Add the notion of living on a boat and the pool of partners is extremely small.
No kidding. Try being *mostly vegan, holistic and socially aware on top of the fact sailing folk are harder to come by! I've come to terms with the fact I am likely going to be single for my remaining days - which brings me to Ann...

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Originally Posted by Ann T. Cate View Post
The "womanly" woman who wants solely to caretake her man is pretty rare now. So you guys are stuck with women who have partaken of women's lib, and they don't want to be dictated to.
We have guys looking for ladies who can sail with them... stand their own watch and such. Women who are at least this involved have to have some level of independence... women's lib or not.

Besides, who wants to be told how, when and where they will have fun?
I sure don't.
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Old 16-07-2014, 17:27   #335
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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............

It's interesting advice to offer, "Just hang out in a marina and prince(ess) charming will be along shortly."

Probably riding on a unicorn...
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You can wait and wait hoping for Mrs Right to come along. Only to find out that her first name is Always. Works the other way round as well of course. Mr Right has the same first name, but his surname then becomes Wrong.

Coops.
And Coops also rides a unicorn
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Old 16-07-2014, 17:28   #336
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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Sorry Tryrsh... I look across the road and I don't think boat - I think Monsanto. Warning, what I am about to say will probably piss you off...no bashing intended. When I think Monsanto and GMO, I think about the massive dumps of pesticides making the waters toxic, the soil barren, and mile-long list of negative side effects it has on the rest of the ecosystem. I think about the fact this dinky hole, with a town of 3,000 has 27 oncology docs - coincidence? I don't think boat, and never will. This moves into my next point.....



No kidding. Try being *mostly vegan, holistic and socially aware on top of the fact sailing folk are harder to come by! I've come to terms with the fact I am likely going to be single for my remaining days - which brings me to Ann...



We have guys looking for ladies who can sail with them... stand their own watch and such. Women who are at least this involved have to have some level of independence... women's lib or not.

Besides, who wants to be told how, when and where they will have fun?
I sure don't.
Try being a pescatarian socially responsible guy in the Alberta tar sands. A brutal trip downstream to Fort Chip or Fort Mckay can make you want to move to a GMO cornfield where you can watch your dog run away for two days.
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Old 16-07-2014, 17:51   #337
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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Originally Posted by NorthernSeaWolf View Post

We have guys looking for ladies who can sail with them... stand their own watch and such. Women who are at least this involved have to have some level of independence... women's lib or not.

Besides, who wants to be told how, when and where they will have fun?
I sure don't.
The other, oft unspoken, truth is that most skippers (M & F) already have a boat and they are looking to add a partner - kind of like the last step in the refit, "Gotta add a partner."

For the Skipper this makes complete sense, "Who would not like to join my castle, ready to go, and be my mate."

The relationships already starts with "Ship's Master and Mate" - Now I do think that the right partnership has the roles worked out - but it comes from mutuality not singularity.

No stats at all but I guess the couple that picks, buys, outfits and launches the boat "together" is more successful - until all the "normal" stuff that kills a relationships sets in...
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Old 16-07-2014, 18:15   #338
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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Try being a pescatarian socially responsible guy in the Alberta tar sands. A brutal trip downstream to Fort Chip or Fort Mckay can make you want to move to a GMO cornfield where you can watch your dog run away for two days.
Ha! *Almost vegan - IE I am weak, and enjoy a little seafood. How can you be from BC and not eat salmon????

Alberta tar sands doesn't have the 'Murica' factor - it may be a close call as to which sucks more....

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Calif View Post
The other, oft unspoken, truth is that most skippers (M & F) already have a boat and they are looking to add a partner - kind of like the last step in the refit, "Gotta add a partner."....
No stats at all but I guess the couple that picks, buys, outfits and launches the boat "together" is more successful - until all the "normal" stuff that kills a relationships sets in...
These statements probably carry a lot of truth. I don't have a boat yet - so I guess I should be fishing for a guy with a boat?

Nah...

Maybe if 'Mr. Always Wrong' sails in with his unicorn at the helm, I'll let him raft up on occasion.

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Old 16-07-2014, 20:22   #339
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

Okay here it is. She controls the supply. Can you control the demand? If yes, find other crew. If no, find a shore side hobby.
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Old 16-07-2014, 21:12   #340
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

Quote:
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These statements probably carry a lot of truth. I don't have a boat yet - so I guess I should be fishing for a guy with a boat?

Nah...

Maybe if 'Mr. Always Wrong' sails in with his unicorn at the helm, I'll let him raft up on occasion.

Maybe it's just me but guys are different - If I found a woman with a boat who was gonna pay the bills and wanted to make me a boat "b!tch" I'd pull the plug immediately.

But I am totally comfortable in my extreme manliness -
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Old 16-07-2014, 22:29   #341
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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Originally Posted by sailorboy1 View Post
wonder if all this advise solved the problem

and who "won" - him, her, the boat
the OP just disappeared didn't he? I say the wife won, the boat is sold..
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Old 16-07-2014, 22:35   #342
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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the OP just disappeared didn't he? I say the wife won, the boat is sold..
Na....his wife just banned him from facebook, blogs, chat rooms after she stumbled on this thread...heck...half the guys here talking large would have their nuts chopped off if "The Boss" ever found out what they were saying and they know it!
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Old 16-07-2014, 22:52   #343
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

Rich,

You're right, with all the posturing, it's hard to get a feel for how the guys really feel. Sometimes they sound pretty misogynistic to me, but there's no way on earth I can tell if that's how they really feel, or it's just what they want to be seen to express. Tis a puzzlement.

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Old 16-07-2014, 23:02   #344
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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No stats at all but I guess the couple that picks, buys, outfits and launches the boat "together" is more successful
We'll stand up as #1 for stats confirming your guess!
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Old 17-07-2014, 00:32   #345
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams

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We'll stand up as #1 for stats confirming your guess!
We agree on boats together but it didn't help my cruising dream, which will stay a dream a while longer. My plan is to loop back, buy a gunboat and try again when the kids are out of school. Donations towards this approach welcome.

Meantime I'm sailing several times a week and and making sure that next time the stars align I'm ready. Last time the chance was there the confidence wasn't.
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