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23-05-2014, 19:51
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#301
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Ontario,Canada
Boat: Seafarer 38
Posts: 20
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aussiesuede
Exactly. If my partner didn't desire to travel, then I'd simply ask em:
"Do you prefer 'Scenery' or 'Action' Postcards?
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Well don't you have your priorities a little twisted....sorry but there is NOTHING I wouldnt give up for my husband including our dream to sail around the world. And happily he feels the same way. 25 years of loving the same man and I can't picture even having to be apart from him for even a week.We're not attached at the hip we're sailing through life hand and hand as best friends.
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23-05-2014, 19:56
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#302
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Cowichan Bay, BC (Maple Bay Marina)
Posts: 9,705
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by BandB
While DIY is the best way for many, it's decidedly not for some of us. We have neither the skills nor the interest plus in the same amount of time it would take us we could earn enough other ways to pay for it.
Personally, we use a very reputable yard and have been extremely pleased with them in all ways.
Not arguing with those of you who go another way, just stating that there is more than one way to do it.
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One of the nicest parts of this thread had been learning about BandB's relationship. Very nice explanations, comments and presentations. We should all be so lucky. We are, too.
As far as this comment, though, I'm glad you're in range of those professionals to fix your boat. I do figure, however, that you are aware that many other cruisers are not in a position to have that kind of assistance close at hand.
While I am not a "far off" cruiser, and only do coastal cruising, I find being as self-sufficient as possible is a safety issue for me, my family and our guests.
In multiple trips to the California Delta, or Drakes Bay up the coast, for example, I could just as well be "out there" on the far side of the moon, and have had to repair issues that would cost me mega bucks if I had to resort to using local professionals, let alone finding any.
I didn't have the skills when I bought this boat 16 years ago, but I certainly had the interest to learn how to fix things myself, 'cuz most of us can't afford having some reputed "professionals" come to our boats, f* things up and have to fix them ourselves anyway.
__________________
Stu Jackson
Catalina 34 #224 (1986) C34IA Secretary
Cowichan Bay, BC, SR/FK, M25, Rocna 10 (22#) (NZ model)
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23-05-2014, 20:14
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#303
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Paradise
Boat: Various
Posts: 2,427
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stu Jackson
As far as this comment, though, I'm glad you're in range of those professionals to fix your boat. I do figure, however, that you are aware that many other cruisers are not in a position to have that kind of assistance close at hand.
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Fully understand. Same point as mine actually that what is right for one may not be for another. I admire those who can do it themselves. But that's also not a reason to summarily state that all boatyards or bad or boatyards are not a good way for some people to go. That's one thing we have to all keep reminding ourselves, that there are many different ways to go about this.
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23-05-2014, 20:48
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#304
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CF Adviser
Join Date: Oct 2007
Boat: Van Helleman Schooner 65ft StarGazer
Posts: 10,280
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stu Jackson
"..... I find being as self-sufficient as possible is a safety issue for me, my family and our guests.
.....
I didn't have the skills when I bought this boat 16 years ago, but I certainly had the interest to learn how to fix things myself, 'cuz most of us can't afford having some reputed "professionals" come to our boats, f* things up and have to fix them ourselves anyway.
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I don't think there is any safety discrepancy as to who actually physically does the work as long as the skipper is aware of the problem/the solution and to learn from the “professional” how to recognize and troubleshoot a re-occurrence.
As to the heavy maintenance labor of painting/scraping/sanding…. If you can afford to have someone else do that…. Not a safety issue but a plus.
Good boat management involves managing your own professional time and maximizing your enjoyment while never losing touch with how the basic systems are functioning
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08-07-2014, 06:22
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#305
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Indiana
Boat: Beneteau 411
Posts: 62
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Hmmm... Wife or boat?.. .
Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum
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08-07-2014, 06:36
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#306
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Boat: 48 Wauquiez Pilot Saloon
Posts: 5,975
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by tryrsh
Hmmm... Wife or boat?.. .
Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum
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No "Hmmmm" required in the decision making process...
__________________
In the harsh marine environment, something is always in need of repair...
Mai Tai's fix everything...
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08-07-2014, 07:36
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#307
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Indiana
Boat: Beneteau 411
Posts: 62
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Well I don't have one of those any longer (wife that is). So you can see my reservations with giving up a dream for a woman. At this stage in my life and being without a wife, I can afford to be quite selective with whom I keep company. A woman that doesn't enjoy the boating lifestyle is what I call a "deal breaker" but I certainly understand those not in such a liberated position. I'm just happy not to be among them.
Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum
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08-07-2014, 07:40
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#308
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Tuamotus, French Poly
Boat: Crealock 37
Posts: 37
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
My wife told me she would divorce me if I bought a boat. I bought it anyway and made her sail with me to Mexico. There were growing pains, but the other day she said she couldn't imagine living in a house again. She's gung-ho for a Pacific crossing and has been looking at sub-$5000 fixers for "when we sell this boat and start over". I created a monster.
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08-07-2014, 07:59
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#309
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running down a dream
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Florida
Boat: cape dory 30 MKII
Posts: 3,112
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by timor-bound
but the other day she said she couldn't imagine living in a house again. She's gung-ho for a Pacific crossing and has been looking at sub-$5000 fixers for "when we sell this boat and start over". I created a monster.
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no you got lucky
__________________
some of the best times of my life were spent on a boat. it just took a long time to realize it.
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08-07-2014, 08:11
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#310
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Moderator Emeritus
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Fort Lauderdale, FL
Boat: 48 Wauquiez Pilot Saloon
Posts: 5,975
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by tryrsh
Well I don't have one of those any longer (wife that is). So you can see my reservations with giving up a dream for a woman. At this stage in my life and being without a wife, I can afford to be quite selective with whom I keep company. A woman that doesn't enjoy the boating lifestyle is what I call a "deal breaker" but I certainly understand those not in such a liberated position. I'm just happy not to be among them.
Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum
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We're rowing in the same direction...
__________________
In the harsh marine environment, something is always in need of repair...
Mai Tai's fix everything...
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08-07-2014, 08:16
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#311
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Marine Service Provider
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: La Paz, Mexico
Boat: 1978 Hudson Force 50 Ketch
Posts: 3,920
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
There are plenty of single guys out there sailing/cruising solo and for the most part you realize real quick why they are going it alone, like just bringing an empty plate and fork to a cruiser potluck.... Come on admit it....
__________________
Rich Boren
Cruise RO & Schenker Water Makers
Technautics CoolBlue Refrigeration
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08-07-2014, 08:25
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#312
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Registered User
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Indiana
Boat: Beneteau 411
Posts: 62
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by SV THIRD DAY
There are plenty of single guys out there sailing/cruising solo and for the most part you realize real quick why they are going it alone, like just bringing an empty plate and fork to a cruiser potluck.... Come on admit it....
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Oh didn't say I was "alone" actually I would prefer just a touch more "alone"...but that's me. All the same I know of what you speak and point taken!
Sent from my iPhone using Cruisers Sailing Forum
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08-07-2014, 11:53
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#313
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Nearly an old salt
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Lefkas Marina ,Greece
Boat: Bavaria 36
Posts: 22,801
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
My wife told me she would divorce me if I bought a boat. I bought it anyway and made her sail with me to Mexico. There were growing pains, but the other day she said she couldn't imagine living in a house again. She's gung-ho for a Pacific crossing and has been looking at sub-$5000 fixers for "when we sell this boat and start over". I created a monster.
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oh God, thats beginning to sound like a certain blog !!!
dave
__________________
Interested in smart boat technology, networking and all things tech
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14-07-2014, 07:38
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#314
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: Bowen Island, BC
Posts: 107
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
Quote:
Originally Posted by HappyMdRSailor
No "Hmmmm" required in the decision making process...
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Goes both ways....
I live with my best friend who I love to death, but we will not be a couple or commit because my future is not compatible with his future. I'm not willing to give up my dreams; he's not willing to live on a boat.
Hmmm....maybe if more people were honest about what it is they really wanted in life.....????
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14-07-2014, 15:32
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#315
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Moderator
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 28,438
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Re: Wife is Close to Axing Cruising Dreams
How does he know he doesn't want to live on a boat? Is he unwilling to even try it? If so, I guess you have to decide *something*.
Godforsaken sounds like a looong way from the seas of BC.
Ann
__________________
Who scorns the calm has forgotten the storm.
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