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Old 25-05-2012, 15:27   #1
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Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

Please don't get me wrong, we are so excited about starting the next phase of our lives, but . . .

We have been down-sizing and organizing and prioritizing and transitioning for the last 9 months. We are within 60 days of leaving and moving aboard our boat. Our architectural firm was bought by our daughter and her partners last February. It has been harder than we could have imagined watching the changes and the new direction the firm is taking.

At home it isn't any better. All of the easy stuff is gone now. We have pawned off to the kids as much stuff as they were willing to take. I didn't realize how many things we have a sentimental connection to. There are things that will not mean anything to anyone else and I get weepy trying to decide what to do with them.

We have been dreaming about cruising for more years than I can count and planning to go cruising for the last four plus years. Now that the goal is imminent, both of us are somewhat sad and a little depressed, but excited about leaving and starting a new chapter in our lives. Is this normal?
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Old 25-05-2012, 15:39   #2
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

Transitions are never easy and what you are going through is a HUGE transition.

I think it was Beth Leonard that interviewed couples that were cruising. I remember one comment where the wife said to her husband, "darling, I have never hated you more than I do at this moment". Fortunately she got over it... :-)

I hope that quote was close to accurate...
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Old 25-05-2012, 15:59   #3
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

Quote:
Originally Posted by SmartMove View Post
.............
We have been dreaming about cruising for more years than I can count and planning to go cruising for the last four plus years. Now that the goal is imminent, both of us are somewhat sad and a little depressed, but excited about leaving and starting a new chapter in our lives. Is this normal?
Yes

Edit: good things need to die so new good things can grow. The old lifestyle is dying so the new one will grow - I am sure you get the picture
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Old 25-05-2012, 15:59   #4
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

I'm about to go through this myself, although we'll probably cruise part time, not full time. Frankly, downsizing won't bother me a bit. All I need is the boat, a few pairs of shorts, a few shirts, a couple of fishing rods, and a credit card.

My wife, on the other hand, will be beside herself.
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Old 25-05-2012, 16:01   #5
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

Indeed, it's within the scope of "normal".
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Old 25-05-2012, 16:06   #6
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

Any change can be stressful... even if it's a positive change. Take a few (or several) deep breaths, move forward, enjoy
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Old 25-05-2012, 16:19   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepFrz
I think it was Beth Leonard that interviewed couples that were cruising. I remember one comment where the wife said to her husband, "darling, I have never hated you more than I do at this moment". Fortunately she got over it... :-)
The difference here is that the wife is the driving force ... California girl, Wyoming boy. While I am getting weepy over the little things, hubby is having a really hard time letting any of the material things go. But every day, we reaffirm to each other, we really want to be gone. I know we will be fine once we are gone, but the going is harder than expected.
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Old 25-05-2012, 16:28   #8
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

We're exactly two years away from the day we cut the lines, but we've already started the downsizing process. Our pile-oh-stuff is no where near yours, but the challenges are the same. We've already gone through the easy stuff. Now we're into difficult things like books, sentimental furniture, and family-produced art.

Change is good ... difficult, but good. Keep it up. You're on the right track .
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Old 25-05-2012, 16:40   #9
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

I would think that not having those feelings would be less than normal. We have been through the same thing. You don't have to get rid of all the sentimental things. We found that once we got to that point, what we had left was mostly small personal things that meant something only to us. When we packed them up, it was rally only 3-4 boxes of stuff. You can rent a small space to store it or, if you have good relatives as we do, borrow a bit of storage space. We trade items out between storage and the boat on an irregular basis. I have found that seeing some of these things less often has actually deepened my appreciation for them.

Good luck on the transition!
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Old 25-05-2012, 16:51   #10
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

Live aboard cruising does not mean "getting rid of your life". Either that, or I've never had a life! In three weeks, we will mark the end of forty years of living aboard and we have a full set of life's collections. We have the marks on our main mast showing the heights of our children from first standing to leaving home. We have treasured artworks from friends and family. We have mementos from world travel. We just happen to stay within about 350 square feet and moved aboard in our early twenties when all we owned would fit in our car. I've noticed that many people living in large houses have a great volume of material that is only seen when they move it from one attic, closet or basement to another. I know that I am speaking with total inexperience with having this amount of "stuff", but I'm going to stick to the claim that letting it go is not, "getting rid of your life". It may be an act of focusing on your life!
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Old 25-05-2012, 17:17   #11
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

FWIW,

Everyone going cruising goes through this. The degree of discomfort varies considerably, but it isn't ever easy. You can (and many do) ease things somewhat by storing the essentials for the future. We did this when we left 25 years ago. We've been paying an increasing rental on the tiny closet ever since. If we were to return to live ashore in California, I suspect that 95+% of that stuff would go directly to the tip. Hindsight...

For most of us, once the dock lines are cast off the ties to shore-based stuff are cast off as well. I agree with CaptForce that the loss of that stuff allows one to concentrate on the realities of your new life.

Relax and enjoy... it's a great life!

Cheers,

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Old 25-05-2012, 17:54   #12
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You know, actually at this point it is not the big stuff. I was going through our books today and there were all kinds of little things hidden between the books -- the collection of writings from Leilani during her first year of college was one. I have never cried as much as I did the day we left her at the Univ. of Oregon, I cried the whole way back to Utah, my husband was afraid I would make myself ill -- but she was so small and vulnerable.

Everyone is right, these are things that we are going to save and they probably will take up 2-5 boxes and we are lucky we have family that is storing our stuff for us. It is important for me to remember we are not losing a life, we are just closing a chapter.

But, holy crap, I think the next 60 days are going to suck. I thank all of you for your kind and positive words.

Robyn
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Old 25-05-2012, 18:17   #13
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

Yes, it's normal. Change is hard. Many people stay with a bad spouse for their whole lives because they're afraid of change, or a bad job, or keep pouring money into an old junker of a car, you name it, we stick with it.
Think of it this way, you're ditching a fat, drunk, abusive sloth and trading him or her in for a sexy young fitness instructor with a master's degree.
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Old 25-05-2012, 18:29   #14
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Quote:
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Think of it this way, you're ditching a fat, drunk, abusive sloth and trading him or her in for a sexy young fitness instructor with a master's degree.
I like it! We are so ready for the change. Both of us are coming to grips with emotions we were not expecting. But every so often something sneaks up on us. I guess I was having one of those days today. Thank you everyone for picking me up.
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Old 25-05-2012, 19:28   #15
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Re: Is This Normal? Getting Rid of Our Life

Quote:
Originally Posted by DeepFrz View Post
Transitions are never easy and what you are going through is a HUGE transition.

I think it was Beth Leonard that interviewed couples that were cruising. I remember one comment where the wife said to her husband, "darling, I have never hated you more than I do at this moment". Fortunately she got over it... :-)

I hope that quote was close to accurate...
well, in the words of that great philosopher Sam Kinneson

"Bitch!"


Not talking about you Smartmove
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