Goat Jokes & Puns
"Doctor, Doctor I feel like a goat".
"How long have you felt like that"?
..... "Since I was a kid".
Why did the ram run over the cliff?
Answer: ...He didn't see the ewe turn.
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
..... Because they're always butting in.
What do you call a goat's beard?
.... A goatee.
How do you keep a goat from charging
..... You take his credit card away!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a goat??
..... You get a hare in your milk!
Why is it hard to have a conversation with a goat??
..... Because the goat always butts in!
What do you call an unemployed goat?
..... Billy Idol!
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
....... Billy Ocean!
What do you call a goat with a beard?
What do you call the best 'butter' on the farm?
Goat Golf Joke
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a billy goat standing next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, "Baahh. 9 Iron" The man looks around and doesn't see anyone. " Baahh. 9 Iron."
He looks at the billy goat and decides to prove him wrong, puts his other club away, and grabs a 9 iron. Boom! He hits it 10 inches from the cup. He is shocked.
He says to the billy goat, "Wow that's amazing. You must be a lucky goat, eh?" The billy goat reply's " Baahh. Lucky goat."
The man decides to take the billy goat with him to the next hole. "What do you think goat?" the man asks. " Baahh. 3 wood."
The guy takes out a 3 wood and Boom! Hole in one. The man is befuddled and doesn't know what to say. By the end of the day, the man golfed the best game
of golf in his life and asks the billy goat, "OK where to next?" The billy goat reply, " Baahh. Las Vegas."
So, they go to "Las Vegas and the guy says, "OK goat, now what?" The billy goat says, " Baahh. Roulette." Upon approaching the roulette table, the man asks, " What do you think I should bet?" The billy goat replies, " Baahh. $3000,black 6."
Now, this is a million to one shot to win, but after the golf game
, the man figures what the heck. Boom! Tons of cash comes sliding back across the table.
The man takes his winnings and buys the best room in the hotel
. Once in the hotel
room the man says "Goat, I don't know how to repay you. You've won me all this money
and I am forever grateful." "Just name it and it is yours." The billy goat replies, " Baaah, Kiss Me."
He figures why not, since after all the goat did for him, he deserves it. With a kiss, the billy goat turns into a gorgeous 15-year-old girl.
".... And that, your honor, is how the girl ended up in my room."
What's for Dinner?
The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
"Goat," the little boy replied.
"Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?"
"Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'