We are about to semi retire and semi cruise
when our new boat is finished. We have just sold a 29' boat that we've had for 4 years and it was our "learner boat."
What I have learn't is this.
1. If I want my wife to listen to me and encourage me with my dreams, she is more inclined to do this if I actually listen to her dreams and try to help her realise hers.
Solution for us:
Me to stay at work for a few years longer (grrrr) than I had hoped for. Let her buy the nicer house and make it our home. So, the home is hers and the boat is mine.
2. Make every sailing experience a good one
. Initially I had to resolve to only taking my wife out when the sun was out, the wind
was light and there was a destination
to look forward to (usually a good restaurant), - and sail home under the stars after. When back at the mooring
, we just jumped in the dingy and went home. I came back the next morning and did all the cleaning
up. I've done this often enough so that the boat had happy memories for her. Of course now, she wants to stay and help me tidy up because she's more comfortable with it. So I've given her time and space to learn how to enjoy it for herself.
3. Look for the solution that will make both husband and wife feel happy
. Well I wanted to sell our business and just go cruising. Of course I can adjust to living on less, but now wifey has got used to having more money
, she thinks it's more fun than living on less. She's also nervous about the 16 years or so before we can get the pension. Will the money
dry up before we do? So, we're keeping business and have hired a manager. It's working out great, so guess what, maybe even wifey was right (can't let her see this). I'm glad I listened.
So for us, it' been about finding the solution that both parties are happy with. It has involved compromise on my part, but isn't that what we are wanting our spouses to do?