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Old 07-09-2013, 07:55   #106
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

There is no room for fear on a small sail boat. Concern yes, fear no. Fear prevents you from doing what needs to be done. I believe it is Tristan Jones who said this in his book 'One Hand For Yourself, One for the Ship'.

I live by it.
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Old 07-09-2013, 08:06   #107
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

wrong--a little fear keeps you from not paying attention to that which you need to attend to while sailing that boat. is a small amount needed so you dont feel you are superman and do something really stoopit
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Old 07-09-2013, 08:09   #108
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

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wrong--a little fear keeps you from not paying attention to that which you need to attend to while sailing that boat. is a small amount needed so you dont feel you are superman and do something really stoopit
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Old 07-09-2013, 08:16   #109
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wrong--a little fear keeps you from not paying attention to that which you need to attend to while sailing that boat. is a small amount needed so you dont feel you are superman and do something really stoopit
How about fear of crossing an ocean one day?
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Old 07-09-2013, 08:19   #110
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

if you fear crossing an ocean then dont do it until you overcome some of that unnecessary fear. i have little fear of the ocean, as it has called me since i was very young. i just have not the desire to cross oceans as that is more work than i wish to accomplish in my old age.
ms socrates did a good job, but i dont have that need to do something so grande.
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Old 07-09-2013, 08:41   #111
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

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if you fear crossing an ocean then dont do it until you overcome some of that unnecessary fear. i have little fear of the ocean, as it has called me since i was very young. i just have not the desire to cross oceans as that is more work than i wish to accomplish in my old age.
ms socrates did a good job, but i dont have that need to do something so grande.
Once confidant you have a suitable boat and are well prepared, the best way to overcome apprehension is to cast off with an alternative destination planned if you are unable to overcome the anxiety. It's all about confidence building and experience. I recall my first passage from San Diego to Mexico when with each passing cloud mass I wondered which one had my name on it? That was many miles and storms ago. Nothing is ever accomplished without taking the first step.
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Old 07-09-2013, 08:42   #112
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

"You knew you could do this? Yes. What made you so confident? My experience."




Step 1 - Neural programming: Listen to Capt Sully's landing audiotrack 2-3 times a season. This cannot be forgotten. Inculcate his demeanor. Stone cold, white-hair captain, steady hands ditch commander - that's the ideal. Visualize yourself cool like Sully. One day you and I will have white hair but we can look up to him meanwhile (and then).

No doubt some toad was in some airline conference room in some country at that very same moment explaining how part-time student pilots cost less and don't need benefits.

Step 2 - in the moment when it is happening to you underway:
Clip in and take a leak to Leeward. Back at it.
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Old 07-09-2013, 08:54   #113
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

alternative destination is what the boat picks when it decides the engine isnt gonna run anymore and it isnt dirty fuel or air in line, and your jib has just blown out preventing good steering with an already compromised heavy full keep slug--rodlmao--lol--so you bypass the difficult engine needed entrances to harbors in favor of the easy access anchorage until you are well repaired.....lol....life is wahat happens when you are doing other things.....lol

alternative destinations is what planning in liquid jello is all about--stuff happens and life is a constant fluid moment.....what you do in response to the change which comes rather suddenly--is how you react to the change--which is spawned by an unconscious fear of something--each is individual, but to declare oneself with out fear is to be arrogantly ignorant of human flight fight response mechanisms,which are intrinsic to survival in extreme conditions and change.
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Old 07-09-2013, 09:03   #114
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Towards the end of the 2011 portion of this thread, the OP posted a link to her blog, wherein a number of strategies for handling fears were mentioned. Here are some of them, rephrased:

1. Distract oneself from thinking "I'm so afraid". Ways suggested to do this included accepting that one is afraid, then planning action to deal with the fear-engendering situation, and then doing what needs to be done; another way if what is bothering you is a natural phenomena is to concentrate on the beauty of the situation, rather than the fear.

2. Progressive desensitization. The example was given of someone who was afraid of heights, who allowed someone to hoist her up the mast incrementally, first spreaders, then back down; further up till she felt dizzy, then back down; and so on, till she could tolerate being at the masthead without ill effects. I find that not looking down, but out over everything helps, focussing on the job at hand, helps, taking the camera aloft to take pictures also helps.

3. Self talk. Telling yourself that you are learning to handle it better and better, accompanied by pushing your limits (desensitization) will help.

4. Acceptance. If you accept that the "worst" thing that might happen is that one die, and knowing that everything that has life will die at some point including *me*, then what's the point of worrying about that? So what's the next worst thing? At some point you will arrive at a realistic fear for the situation, and begin to see the solution.

5. Another method was "SUHU", which I had to look up, it means "Shut Up and Harden UP", and I think this might actually work well in a team situation, where there is peer pressure to conform to an understood standard of behavior. It could also be a disaster between a husband and wife. At any rate, the concept is a sort of denial of the fear, accompanied by doing the job at hand--a mental shortcut to action. In addition, in a sense, the solution involves peer consultation, which is what bringing the issue to CF is.

Only you can make the final decision as to whether what you are experiencing is anxiety (an irrational fear; and even a phobia is an irrational fear, even though it may paralize a person) or a "real" fear. Some people simply cast off anxiety because they see it doesn't make sense. That's the easy way. But if it's a "real" fear, you know it's a situation you must handle some way. And of course, you CAN choose to hold on to the fear, and you don't even HAVE TO question the decision! After all, it is your decision.

I've thought about it a lot because I used to find myself not taking care of something that needed doing during my night watch. I went through this self talk: why are you not doing this? I would not act until I owned up to myself that it was cause I was scared, then answered the question, "how can I make this 'risk' feel acceptable?" and pushed myself to handle the situation. Usually it involved me suiting up and harnessing up and going forward when it was bouncy and wet. I just had to accept the situation, then handle it: thus is confidence built. Careful consideration of the notion of acceptable risk may help,too.

Ann
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Old 07-09-2013, 14:00   #115
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

i havent thought about the conditions thru which i have sailed as we were sailing them---was just another challenge to meet and surpass----
each soul has a different way of dealing with the need to manage stress and fear, which is a stressor.
something about doing something when you are spozed to be experiencing what normal folks call fear---sorry--isnt happening--if i am at work or sailing, which is a part of my lifestyle, i had best convert my fears into productivity, or give up the lifestyle.
everyone handles it a different way but the basics are generally similar, as fight or flight is a basic all critters --hellyes humans are critters--behavior and reactivity.
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Old 07-09-2013, 16:02   #116
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

When in the midst of a life threatening crisis I switch to what I've always called "aggressive mode" or " angry mode". In my mind to be passive is to be dead...so I get mean and I get moving. I have no reason to believe that this approach wouldn't work on a boat.

My greatest fear today is that I'll never get to find out...been on the hard for two years and have never done any real sailing
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Old 07-09-2013, 16:15   #117
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Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

I did a little searching for that SUHU thing Ann Cate talked about. Couldn't find it, but found this interesting article. I'm not familiar with the website but the article was good.
TAIPAN Magazine - OVERCOMING FEAR IN A LIFE-THREATENING ENCOUNTER
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Old 07-09-2013, 16:34   #118
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face it down and laugh in its face---
except spideys...lol
+1 on the spidey's!
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Old 07-09-2013, 16:43   #119
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Most people are afraid of the unknown. To combat that, read up/study what makes you afraid. Remember that knowledge is your power against fear. Sometimes fear is instilled in people to separate them from their wealth (insurance companies) or to control them (religions). Those who are mentally savvy/experimental are not afraid of the unknown, and are willing to take calculated risks. Those with little or no formal education and heavily rely on faith, are the ones who suffer the most from fear.

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This may sound dumb, but I read a lot of books about disasters -- at sea, in the mountains, you name it. Everyone thinks its morbid, but I think there is something to be learned. As I read this, I envision myself in the scene and think what would I do. My hope is since I took the time to think through it while not in disaster mode I will remember it if I am ever in disaster mode.

I always say you don't know what you don't know, so take as much as you can from other people's experiences. I know that there is no guarantee this will help when the SHTF, but it is better than nothing.
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Old 07-09-2013, 16:46   #120
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wrong--a little fear keeps you from not paying attention to that which you need to attend to while sailing that boat. is a small amount needed so you dont feel you are superman and do something really stoopit
A little fear is a healthy thing, it keeps you in the here and now.
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