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Old 21-09-2011, 18:18   #16
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

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I face my fears to (a) come away with an incredible sense of accomplishment and (b) because I'm not happy with myself unless I give everything a shot.
There is the saying that a coward dies a thousand deaths. That phrase has meaning for me as I know the only regrets I have are for things I didn't do.
Challenging the status quo is fearful but that is what makes life worth living and as you state gives you that sense of accomplishment.

And the funny thing is, you get that positive feeling even for just trying.
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Old 21-09-2011, 18:19   #17
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

I take that step because I love how it feels. But I DO try to gut check that it's a survivable step...

vs

Gotta have both...
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Old 21-09-2011, 18:20   #18
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

fear is from a lack of confidence, so work on your confidence and fear will subside
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Old 21-09-2011, 18:22   #19
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Fear is a great thing. It lets us know we are mortals
I've experienced my share of fear. I crabed a few seasons in alaska and had more then one "close call". If you dont experience fear, in my opinion, your in danger
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Old 21-09-2011, 18:31   #20
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

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Gotta have both...
Yes, in good measure too.
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Old 21-09-2011, 18:45   #21
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Torre,

I have turned 50 this year, and a couple different times, I realized I am not afraid to die any more. That used to be my biggest fear, along with speaking in front of a crowd.

The way I had always confronted fear, including times when I thought I was really down, or having doubts or just a run of bad luck, I have always thought of those who had to deal with extreme adversity: allied soldiers landing at D-day beaches, explorers like Shackleton who were up against the worst of nature's wrath, Cambodian political refugees on a forced march, suffering unthinkable punishment during every step, or good friends of mine who braved cancer--some living, some who didn't make it, but all were stoic and managed to stay as much themselves as possible, even when it got very, very dark; these are just a few good examples. It makes any plight I come up against seem positively light, and causes me to almost feel embarrassed for having felt fear at all.

I have become pretty tough, and really don't present much self-pity. I still have some fears, but they tend to be momentary, and with these and other mechanisms, I can generally dismiss fear and think very clear-headedly, even in really tense moments.

Good thread. I hope others can benefit from this topic.

Scott
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Old 21-09-2011, 18:48   #22
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

I actually do have a fear of the channel marker buoys. Ever since I was little kid, I imagined somehow losing the boat, boat slamming into one or going overboard and having to cling to one of those dirty barnacle infested slimy markers, climb up it etc..., stranded there.
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Old 21-09-2011, 18:50   #23
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

You could always try repeating this a few times.

From Dune by Frank Herbert

I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain.
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Old 21-09-2011, 19:17   #24
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

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I take that step because I love how it feels. But I DO try to gut check that it's a survivable step...

vs

Gotta have both...
True, but it really helps if the proportions are the other way around!!
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Old 21-09-2011, 19:26   #25
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

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I actually do have a fear of the channel marker buoys. Ever since I was little kid, I imagined somehow losing the boat, boat slamming into one or going overboard and having to cling to one of those dirty barnacle infested slimy markers, climb up it etc..., stranded there.
And what if they don't have enough ballast to keep you out of the water! Oh no, another thing to fear!
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Old 21-09-2011, 19:35   #26
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

I have uncontrolable(sp?) fear for two things: 1) Jumping off of high things. I don't mind heights it is just the jumping off part, and 2) Not living an adventurous life. The first I avoid the second I pack as much living in my life as I can.
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Old 21-09-2011, 20:11   #27
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Interesting thread.

I must admit it's been a long time since I've really felt white knuckle fear. Probably a benefit of living in a civilized 21st century society.

Fear these days is more like anxiety, or what we now use that flogged to death term 'stress' for.
Everybody has 'stress' now... the checkout chick, the teacher, the homeless person, the politician.... Of course it could be the continual bombardment of drug tv commercials telling us how bad we have it, and how their particular ju-ju medication will solve everything...


But as a kid I had heaps of fears, and being a redhead with more fiestiness than brains didn't help much either. I was forever getting myself into major 'Gulp...!" situations.

But eventually I found a technique that made all the difference, and for just $9.95 by visa, paypal, mastercard.....

But seriously, I did find an aproach to sidestep fear that really worked.

I pretended I was an actor playing a role.
Somehow it removed the reality of the situation just enough to make it a bit of a game.
No matter what the circumstances, I visualised myself acting the part, not actually going through the experience.
It was like living in the 3rd person for the moment.
Most times the fear subsided enough to see me through.

Over time I think it became a subconscious habit because I haven't thought about in years.

Sounds dumb now but it worked for me.
Might help someone else with a bent personality too
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Old 21-09-2011, 20:28   #28
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

False Evidence Appearing Real

I have had my share of hair raising Experiences

Rock/Ice Climbing, Spelunking, Sailing on a vessel 400 miles out and having numerous things happen in an uncanny procession of disasters, at night in high (30-40' seas0 losing a man off a tug (we got him out cold and wet) and a tugboat engine having a base explosion while I was in the engine room......The thing was I was never paralyzed....but it caught up with me after the fact.......shakes/exhaustion (mental and physical)

Three of my friends and I weren't "lost in a cave" we were " a mite bewildered for 8 hours"
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Old 21-09-2011, 20:37   #29
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

When I was teaching advanced Rock climbing I developed the concept of Selective Ignorance. SI requires that you do all the prep up front before the fear inducing activity commences then when confronted with the fear you fall back to the skills you know and ignore the parts that frighten you. It is a Just Do It with all the safety ground work in place.

The key is to have taken care of the prep that mitigates the risk factors and leaves only the fear factor to be dealt with.

Regards, Ethan
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Old 21-09-2011, 20:46   #30
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Re: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Lunch = lost.
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