Cruisers Forum

Join CruisersForum Today

Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 16-09-2013, 16:50   #151
Registered User

Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: California Coast
Boat: Beneteau Oceanis 331
Posts: 645
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

F alse
E xpectations
A ppearing
R eal

False expectations are always scarier than reality.
I always try to remember..."What is the worst thing that can happen? Death. Now that would really be scary if I thought that I was going to live forever. But since I'm not, there isn't really all that much to loose."

Liam Wald is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-09-2013, 05:45   #152
Registered User
SmartMove's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Cruising the Eastern Caribbean
Boat: Beneteau 473
Posts: 774
Images: 1
Originally Posted by Reach View Post

Thanks for the lead, since I subsequently checked out this site and ended up buying her new book. Looking forward to a good read!
Her book was a really great read!

Time is a companion that goes with us on a journey. It reminds us to cherish each moment, because it will never come again. What we leave behind is not as important as how we have lived. JEAN LUC PICARD, Captain of the Starship Enterprise
SmartMove is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-09-2013, 06:14   #153
Registered User
Krogensailor's Avatar

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Naples Fl
Boat: Kadey Krogen 38 cutter
Posts: 355
Images: 13
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

If you go sailing on the ocean and there isn't a bit of fear, your stupid. A little bit of fear is like the fire in the furnace in your home, it's agood thing. Having the house on fire, not so much. Or if your getting in a boxing ring with Mike Tyson, be afraid, be very afraid. My wife and I were sailing 40 or so mile off of Cape Fear, appropriately enough, when we found water over the floor boards. I told her about the situation and could instantly see the fear in her eye's. I then told her that if she was afraid to mot share it with me. This is not a time for sharing feelings. This is a time for thinking and pumping. She nodded, we pumped and made it into the CF river got hauled and found that the only guy who ever worked on my boat put 3'16' packing in the stuffing box instead of 1/8". When it comes to wee the water can get in, I fix it myself. Be afraid, don't be paralyzed
Krogensailor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-09-2013, 07:14   #154
Registered User
Normanby's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 312
I wear brown underpants...

I once read that concern is defined as worry without fear. I'm sometimes frightened, but more often I'm concerned.

I found that to be a subtle distinction, but a cogent one, a little less stressful.
Normanby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-09-2013, 07:23   #155
Registered User
Reach's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Bahamas
Boat: Manta 40
Posts: 118
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Originally Posted by Liam Wald View Post
I always try to remember..."What is the worst thing that can happen? Death. Now that would really be scary if I thought that I was going to live forever. But since I'm not, there isn't really all that much to loose."
I also use the "worst case scenario" thought process and it helps me explore what things might happen, yes all the way through to the ultimate end. In a specific situation it might allow me to visualize what actions I could take. All of this is pretty subconscious, but it seems to work since I don't register fear very often at all.

However, I have had a few cruising situations that still bother me. Both were very close, closing courses with freighters and bad to no communication with the bridge. I experienced how this real fear really messes with your head and body ~ very stressful & I did feel paralyzed about taking action. Luckily calmer heads than mine were there to discuss the problems and make decisive actions at the time.

I'd like to think I'm learning about myself in these new situations. That maybe I'll react better next time, yet in reality I just hope it won't be necessary!
Reach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-09-2013, 07:46   #156
Freelance Delivery Skipper..
boatman61's Avatar

Community Sponsor
Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Europe
Posts: 18,338
Images: 2
Send a message via Skype™ to boatman61
pirate Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

To be honest I've never really been scared as such... I tend to live in the moment... successfully making a coffee in 50kts is as far forward as I think... but life is simpler solo..
I know what to do if the boat go from under me.. so why worry about it.. the coffee is another matter...
However.. a couple of times sheer exhaustion after 2 or more weeks of really heavy weather has got me on the edge of saying..
'Enough... no more..'
That's when its time to get mad...
I do not exist to impress the world.
I exist to live my life in a way that will make me happy.

boatman61 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 17-09-2013, 09:18   #157
Registered User
taildragerdrive's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Halfway, Oregon, USA
Boat: Swan, 1968, 36'
Posts: 102
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Interesting thread.

I have done many work and recreational adventure things. I got started early I grew up with My Father and family in the US Forest Service. I'm basically a born adrenaline junkie. I have a healthy (respect) fear of the situations I may get into, keeps me on my toes.

I went on my first forest fire when I was 8 years old. Not a very big one but over the years I have been on many and worked in lots of exciting hot line situations. Can be dangerous but proper equipment, experience and training make it much safer. (I love hot line now great for an adrenaline junky)

I started skiing at 6 and have skied all over the US in many back country situations where I could have died in an avalanche or fallen off a cliff. Once again proper equipment, clothing, experience and training are the key. (I'm a storm skier now the harder is snowing the better I like it. Often out there alone)

I have flown many back country hours in places where if the engine quit or something happens probably no way to survive the result. Some of that flying even looking for downed aircraft for Civil Air Patrol. Training, experience and well maintained equipment make is much safer. (fly back country wilderness airstrips when ever I can)

Now going through the same ramp up in sailing good equipment, gaining experience and training.

Same is true for: wilderness work of all kinds, tree climbing to pick cones, aerial observer looking for fires in aircraft in lightning storms, etc.

I believe the key to getting past fear is those three I have mentioned in each case.

Some times you don't get to ramp up, just after I bought my boat, on my first off shore passage we got into 40kt winds but I had a friend who had 100,000+ miles and once she felt the boat was doing well it was just a huge adrenaline rush for 24hrs. (Once again having her along was my training opportunity. She and I had inspected the boat and knew it was in good condition and a good design, her experience made up for my lack of it in this case) I was hooked. I have never had such a long exciting experience in my life before.

I don't know about irrational fear but in my experience maybe all fear is irrational, experience and learning will overcome the irrational with knowledge and the fear goes away.

So for me overcoming fear is Proper equipment, training and gained experience. Each type of adventure should be approached that way and the fear should go away.
Taildraggerdriver - Flying in the mountains of the west. Sailing/cruising as much as I can.
taildragerdrive is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2013, 03:37   #158
Registered User

Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Cowes England
Posts: 2
Send a message via Skype™ to keithwhite
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Fear is there to protect use, if we loss this we will be a danger to our self's and to others, I have bee in a yacht that completed a 360? can't find the small "0" in a force 11+, so I have the fear of going over more then 30 degrees, this is my self preservation kicking in, so be pleased that, that fear is built in

keithwhite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2013, 04:17   #159
Registered User
SV Sea Monkey's Avatar

Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Annapolis, MD
Boat: Island Packet 35
Posts: 112
How to work through fear? Focus on the task at hand. Training and practice will make you confident that you're working on the right task and help you understand the risks involved.
I have always enjoyed adventurous activities that bring some level of fear--climbing, whitewater paddling, diving, etc. and the "butterflies" are part of the attraction. When I lose the butterflies, I stop that activity--partly because the allure is waning, but mostly because the butterflies keep me on my toes. Now with a wife and son, any risk I take affects others as well--so I have dialed back my activities. For those times when fear sneaks up on me (unplanned), I focus on the task at hand.
SV Sea Monkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-2013, 04:32   #160
Moderator Emeritus
GordMay's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Thunder Bay, Ontario - 48-29N x 89-20W
Boat: (Cruiser Living On Dirt)
Posts: 29,380
Images: 240
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, Keith.

Gord May
"If you didn't have the time or money to do it right in the first place, when will you get the time/$ to fix it?"

GordMay is online now   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Challenge: Offshore in a J24 Adelie Challenges 21 18-12-2012 21:47
Challenge of a 6 Foot Draft in the Keys and Bahamas Phisher Seamanship & Boat Handling 32 07-01-2012 08:34
Not a Sailboat, but Still a Real Challenge for Us CharlieCobra Construction, Maintenance & Refit 10 22-04-2011 19:30

Our Communities

Our communities encompass many different hobbies and interests, but each one is built on friendly, intelligent membership.

» More about our Communities

Automotive Communities

Our Automotive communities encompass many different makes and models. From U.S. domestics to European Saloons.

» More about our Automotive Communities

Marine Communities

Our Marine websites focus on Cruising and Sailing Vessels, including forums and the largest cruising Wiki project on the web today.

» More about our Marine Communities

Copyright 2002-2015 Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:48.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2016, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.