Cruisers Forum
 


Join CruisersForum Today

Reply
 
Thread Tools Rate Thread Display Modes
Old 16-09-2013, 08:25   #136
Registered User
 
sww914's Avatar

Join Date: May 2009
Location: Punta De Mita
Boat: Vagabond 39 Hull # 1
Posts: 1,842
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

On the first or second page, before I really had had to deal with it, I made some grand and proud statement. I was full of **** as it turns out.
Here's the update-
Valium.
Valium for me, the kid, and the dog. No kidding. it has been 100% effective.
__________________

__________________
Steve
http://www.landfallvoyages.com
sww914 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 08:30   #137
cat herder, extreme blacksheep
 
zeehag's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: furycame alley , tropics, mexico for now
Boat: 1976 FORMOSA yankee clipper 41
Posts: 17,767
Images: 56
Send a message via Yahoo to zeehag Send a message via Skype™ to zeehag
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

odl 914---i think i mentioned that one--if not i will yes take credit--rodlmao----some souls need more of the stuff others need none--lol
__________________

zeehag is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 08:35   #138
Registered User
 
Krogensailor's Avatar

Join Date: May 2013
Location: Naples Fl
Boat: Kadey Krogen 38 cutter
Posts: 355
Images: 13
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

I'm thinking that television and film have not helped what with all of the money spent on CG of storms and waves. But then again, it may hold off the onslaught of the masses that might show up in my favorite anchorage.
__________________
Krogensailor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 09:02   #139
cat herder, extreme blacksheep
 
zeehag's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: furycame alley , tropics, mexico for now
Boat: 1976 FORMOSA yankee clipper 41
Posts: 17,767
Images: 56
Send a message via Yahoo to zeehag Send a message via Skype™ to zeehag
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

krogen---your best defense is loud GANGSTA RAP music--you only need on e disc or one set of it---isnt for your benefit--wear earplugs. if that doesnt work---try something equally obnoxious...
zeehag is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 11:15   #140
Registered User
 
ty.gregory's Avatar

Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Panama City, Panama
Boat: Islander Freeport 41' Ketch
Posts: 422
Re: How do you manage fear?

Quote:
Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
Fear is a normal, natural, and healthy response to dangerous circumstances; a perception of a real threat to oneself (or others), to be contrasted with anxiety. Anxiety feels the same as fear, but is an imagined rather than an actual threat to the self.
Fear is only a problem when it causes inaction; when it paralyses.
Take action to prevent the perceived danger from causing harm.
GordMay nails it on the head again!
__________________
“If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your ****, then you deserve it.” ― Frank Zappa
ty.gregory is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 11:27   #141
cat herder, extreme blacksheep
 
zeehag's Avatar

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: furycame alley , tropics, mexico for now
Boat: 1976 FORMOSA yankee clipper 41
Posts: 17,767
Images: 56
Send a message via Yahoo to zeehag Send a message via Skype™ to zeehag
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Originally Posted by GordMay View Post
Fear is a normal, natural, and healthy response to dangerous circumstances; a perception of a real threat to oneself (or others), to be contrasted with anxiety. Anxiety feels the same as fear, but is an imagined rather than an actual threat to the self.
Fear is only a problem when it causes inaction; when it paralyses.
Take action to prevent the perceived danger from causing harm.



is factual. yes.
zeehag is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 11:36   #142
Registered User
 
capttman's Avatar

Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Satellite Beach Florida
Boat: Bruce Roberts 434
Posts: 716
Send a message via Skype™ to capttman
Yup ocean scares the crud out of me. But so does the thought of living a "normal life on land"
Didn't some one say nothing to fear but fear itself
__________________
Capttman

"When the bow be in the trees we'll be running out of seas"
capttman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 12:14   #143
Registered User
 
vayacondios's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: East Coast Australia
Boat: Fountaine Pajot Mahe 36 (#111) - Vaya Con Dios
Posts: 149
Images: 1
Wow glad I came across this thread. I thought I was the only one with irrational anxiety. I chock it up to menopause. I used to be quite fearless until I was in the role of the most experienced sailor. I taught my hubby to sail and feel a responsibility and resulting fear of not knowing what to do when conditions get rough.
Last year we did a multiple day passage in some extreme conditions, I was terrified for 55 hours. Felt so helpless. Since then I've been a nervous nelly. It all really started when we hit a whale a couple of years back. The realisation of randomness sends me to the edge.
An old salt told me that you plan and prepare and if something happens just use common sense. Most of the time you can survive the incident. So I rationalise that if something happens its not necessarily the end.
It also helps me to read about what others have been through.
I recently was at a very remote island and a 22 ft trail or sailor arrived in 30 knots. They sat at anchor for a week in gale conditions before having to head back in the same cuz they had to go back to work. I will think of them and how they faced it and it makes me feel much better about my conditions.
I really like the reply about pretending to be an actor in a role. It makes sense that detachment can separate ourselves from the emotion of it.
__________________
vayacondios is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 12:57   #144
Moderator
 
JPA Cate's Avatar

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: aboard, cruising in Australia
Boat: Sayer 46' Solent rig sloop
Posts: 10,666
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by vayacondios View Post
Wow glad I came across this thread. I thought I was the only one with irrational anxiety. I chock it up to menopause. I used to be quite fearless until I was in the role of the most experienced sailor. I taught my hubby to sail and feel a responsibility and resulting fear of not knowing what to do when conditions get rough.
Last year we did a multiple day passage in some extreme conditions, I was terrified for 55 hours. Felt so helpless. Since then I've been a nervous nelly. It all really started when we hit a whale a couple of years back. The realisation of randomness sends me to the edge.
An old salt told me that you plan and prepare and if something happens just use common sense. Most of the time you can survive the incident. So I rationalise that if something happens its not necessarily the end.
It also helps me to read about what others have been through.
I recently was at a very remote island and a 22 ft trail or sailor arrived in 30 knots. They sat at anchor for a week in gale conditions before having to head back in the same cuz they had to go back to work. I will think of them and how they faced it and it makes me feel much better about my conditions.
I really like the reply about pretending to be an actor in a role. It makes sense that detachment can separate ourselves from the emotion of it.
Hi, there, Vaya Con Dios,

It sounds to me as if you are oppressed by your feeling of responsibility, and doesn't have anything at all to do with menopause. [Things can happen about the same time, but there is not necessarily a causal relationship between them.] Is it that your husband is completely dependent on your expertise? Or has he become competent crew whom you can trust?

You were fearful in "extreme conditions." I am told you always remember your first gale, and I certainly do. Perhaps you will find the same thing over time. You obviously got into enough protection to survive, and can start sorting out just what bothered you the most. For me, in the gale, when I gave up being afraid for my life, which was really an over reaction, I realized how damn tiring it was, and that is my main worry to this day about gales. I know we can handle them and the boat can handle them, so it's okay.

I like your story about the trailer sailor; if it inspires you and gives you balance, use it. If the role playing idea works for you, try it out!

I personally find it helpful to figure out which things scare me the most, and deal with whatever I can with the scariest first, and so on. :When you figure out the scariest bit, if it doesn't kill you, what's next worst? can you handle it? and so on, it goes really fast for me, and many things on board can be dealt with from the cockpit, you don't even have to go forward.


Good luck with it.
__________________
Ann, with Jim, aboard US s/v Insatiable II, in Oz, very long term cruisers
JPA Cate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 13:27   #145
Senior Cruiser

Cruisers Forum Supporter

Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: between the devil and the deep blue sea
Boat: a sailing boat
Posts: 17,314
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

I went to Torre's blogsite. Some very good website/webdesign/travel/adventure work there. Well worth a visit.

Fearful Adventurer — Exploring the world one terrified step at a time.

Thanks, Torre. All the best in your projects!

b.
__________________
barnakiel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 14:07   #146
Registered User
 
Group9's Avatar

Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 1,599
Images: 7
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

How do I handle fear? The same way as always, by being overconfident to the point of stupidity.
__________________
Cruising again!
Group9 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 14:29   #147
Registered User

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Melbourne Australia
Boat: Paper Tiger 14 foot, Gemini 105MC 34 foot Catamaran Hull no 825
Posts: 1,616
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Fear is a hell of a thing, It can freeze you into Total immobility,

Many years ago, a Rigger climbing a vertical ladder froze on the ladder, 150 feet above the ground, Vertical drop,
Took a crane with a cage, A safety harness on the rigger, A doctor in the cage, The needles didnt work, Muscle relaxant of some kind, Then they broke the fingers of both hands of the Rigger to get his fingers off the ladder, He was frozen solid in fear,

Its just one of those things that happens from time to time,
Snap out of it or die,
I am Terrified of heights, But I have been an onsite Boilermaker for 45 years, And work at all heights, I do the repairs on the tops of Multi story buildings, It paid very well,

Fear can be managed, If your aware of it,

I fell into a creek in Japan, After I got lost in a snow storm, I was walking across a paddock to the road, 3-00 AM, The creek was buried under the snow, The snow was flat across the paddock,

I was about 3 metres below the snow, Powdered snow dont compact, so you cant just build steps and climb out, No one knew I was there, I was on my own,

I was dressed in jeans and runners, A lite plastic coat, a T shirt and a lite jumper and no gloves, And a beanie on my head,

At 30 Odd degrees Celcius, Below freezing, At Noon, I dont know how cold the nights were, I had about 20 minutes before I was a permanent Icy Pole,
Yes, The fear and Panic was incredible, I am going to die here if I dont get myself out in a very quick hurry,
My hands were covered in fine powdered snow that stuck like **** to a blanket on my hands, I could not get it off, I could feel it sucking the heat from my body,

After packing the snow as best I could, some how, I managed to suppress my Intensive Fear and worked on getting myself out,
Lesson learned, Stay on the Bloody road, In a foreign country covered in snow,
__________________
Mr B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 17:00   #148
Registered User
 
vayacondios's Avatar

Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: East Coast Australia
Boat: Fountaine Pajot Mahe 36 (#111) - Vaya Con Dios
Posts: 149
Images: 1
My hubby is totally up to speed but I still feel a sense of responsibility. It was my idea to go sailing. I think I have to remind myself that he is totally competent and were in this together. I think your right about remembering your first gale. It becomes a benchmark. I have to let go of fear of not knowing what to do and trust that our decisions are sound.
There is neurotic fear and sensible fear.
If you live in the city and are afraid of lions that's neurotic but if you live in the jungle well that's going to keep you alive. Knowledge, common sense, keeping your head in a crisis.
When we hit a whale there were no whales around, it was calm and we were motoring slowly. Out of the blue Bam we wer broadsided by a humpback. It hit both keel (catamaran) and actually lifted one side up slightly. It was so random that freaked me out. All this water and we hit a whale. Then I realised we can't control everything in life have to accept that. I never used to believe in good luck but now I'm not so sure. It's good luck that both us and the whale are ok from the collision.
It's interesting how we are fearful of something's and not others.
__________________
vayacondios is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 17:19   #149
Registered User
 
Reach's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Bahamas
Boat: Manta 40
Posts: 118
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by barnakiel View Post
I went to Torre's blogsite. Some very good website/webdesign/travel/adventure work there. Well worth a visit.

Fearful Adventurer — Exploring the world one terrified step at a time.

Thanks, Torre. All the best in your projects!

b.
Thanks for the lead, since I subsequently checked out this site and ended up buying her new book. Looking forward to a good read!
__________________
~Michele
www.svreach.com
Reach is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16-09-2013, 17:45   #150
cruiser

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Tampa Bay area
Boat: Hunter 31'
Posts: 5,731
Re: Challenge: How Do You Manage Fear ?

Oddly enough, I just learned how to handle fear right here on this forum. Just be always right, which makes you always courageous. Simple!
__________________

__________________
Rakuflames is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Tags
paracelle

Thread Tools
Display Modes Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Challenge: Offshore in a J24 Adelie Challenges 21 18-12-2012 22:47
Challenge of a 6 Foot Draft in the Keys and Bahamas Phisher Seamanship & Boat Handling 32 07-01-2012 09:34
Not a Sailboat, but Still a Real Challenge for Us CharlieCobra Construction, Maintenance & Refit 10 22-04-2011 20:30



Copyright 2002- Social Knowledge, LLC All Rights Reserved.

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:21.


Google+
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Social Knowledge Networks
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

ShowCase vBulletin Plugins by Drive Thru Online, Inc.