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Old 13-04-2014, 17:17   #1
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would you take a drink?

For cruisers forum: I’m a writer, sailing through the Bahamas and I need your help to finish a short story that will be in a sailing fiction book I’m publishing later this year. It’s based on one of the out islands here and my hero Dawson, a middle-aged man who sails in and meets a large group of young adults having a sundowner party on the beach. He sees a large cooler and assumes that it’s some kind of adult beverage, so he grabs a cup, fills it, and as he is about to drink a man he just met knocks it out of his hand. He apologizes, and tells Dawson that he can’t drink till he knows what is in the cooler.

He tells him that the water comes from a nearby well that he discovered many years ago. After drinking some he noticed a strange sensation throughout his body, and within a couple days he began to feel much better. His sore back no longer hurt, he had renewed energy, age spots on his hands vanished, he didn’t need glasses and his hair was turning dark again. Within a month he looked like a college student. He tells Dawson that he is 89.

But his grown kids had been with him too and had to fly back home. Just to be safe, they sent them back with a large supply of the water, but both kids, despite drinking it every day, began to rapidly sicken and age, and eventually died.

Dawson just can’t believe this fantastic fountain of youth tale they’re telling, but they show him IDs, photos, and documents of them from the 1930s and 1940s. The people there stay young forever but cannot leave. It’s probably an elaborate hoax he thinks, maybe he’ll take a sip, what could it hurt?

I'm stuck here, what should he do, and why? Thanks for your help, I’ll post complete story at another website when finished
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Old 13-04-2014, 17:33   #2
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Re: would you take a drink?

If it's anything like Budweiser, no I wouldn't touch it.
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Old 13-04-2014, 17:38   #3
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Re: would you take a drink?

interesting but do you think you could change the font size of the lettering as it makes it very hard to read your post.

and i would definitly drink,then with my new found vigour check out the party grannies....who of course look like hot babes even if they are in their 90's......know what i mean
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Old 13-04-2014, 18:26   #4
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Re: would you take a drink?

Wow. Hard to say without knowing more about Dawson, his family ties, etc. However, if he drinks the water and stays there, you're pretty limited as to what the outcome of the story will be, i.e. he will be stuck on the island, will enjoy partying, drinking, etc.

But if he doesn't drink the water, he can move on, chalk this up as another great adventure, and live to explore other islands and have other adventures.

So I would say the second option would be better. You don't want to paint yourself into a corner.

Best of luck with it.
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Old 13-04-2014, 18:41   #5
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Re: would you take a drink?

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Originally Posted by atoll View Post
interesting but do you think you could change the font size of the lettering as it makes it very hard to read your post.


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Old 13-04-2014, 18:46   #6
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Re: would you take a drink?

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Fixed
he he long time no see janet!aaaaaaa those legs
i been drinking the juice.........is hubby away this weekend
thanks my eyes were fading but this fountain of youth is working wonders
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Old 13-04-2014, 18:47   #7
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Re: would you take a drink?

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Originally Posted by atoll View Post
interesting but do you think you could change the font size of the lettering as it makes it very hard to read your post.

and i would definitly drink,then with my new found vigour check out the party grannies....who of course look like hot babes even if they are in their 90's......know what i mean
Atoll,
this may the time to update your avatar. bottoms up!
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Old 13-04-2014, 18:47   #8
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Re: would you take a drink?

He shouldn't drink but rather lead his nemesis to the trough and make him drink and then stumble across some treasure that he can never use because there's nothing to buy but more drinks.
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Old 13-04-2014, 18:48   #9
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Re: would you take a drink?

The best literature is ambiguous.
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Old 13-04-2014, 18:57   #10
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Re: would you take a drink?

GPS the island and come back in 20 years. Though the party grammas got some serious experience and skills. Hmmmmm...
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Old 13-04-2014, 19:26   #11
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Re: would you take a drink?

Aint got much of a story if he doesn't drink...
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Old 14-04-2014, 15:57   #12
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Re: would you take a drink?

I think you already answered your question...if you drink it you can't leave.

Dawson, if he's a hero, must leave to continue his adventures elsewhere. However, not before finding and revealing the true source of the well. There's your ambiguous part.
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Old 14-04-2014, 16:06   #13
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Re: would you take a drink?

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GPS the island and come back in 20 years. Though the party grammas got some serious experience and skills. Hmmmmm...

That is what I was thinking, come back when he's old and not got much longer to live anyway, then take a drink.
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Old 14-04-2014, 16:46   #14
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Re: would you take a drink?

Dawson is his own man and doesn't need to drink the dream. He sees the conservation of the space-time value. Like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (position/momentum) the elixir stretches the time dimension, lets it get large but simultaneously narrows the space dimension, his world becomes just the island conserving his space-time value.

I hope this is what you were trying to say.
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Old 14-04-2014, 17:11   #15
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Re: would you take a drink?

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Dawson is his own man and doesn't need to drink the dream. He sees the conservation of the space-time value. Like the Heisenberg uncertainty principle (position/momentum) the elixir stretches the time dimension, lets it get large but simultaneously narrows the space dimension, his world becomes just the island conserving his space-time value.

I hope this is what you were trying to say.
Nicely put.

The point is to explore a difficult choice. If he just takes a drink or not, that's a let-down. Why wouldn't you explore the decision by his interactions with the people who did take the drink?
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