What Happens to all the Hasbeens?

[gjordan]

Donradcliffs post hit hard. I just bought an older motorhome and will cruise the west coast this summer in it. I have a new Lady Friend that I think will be forever, and I am trying to gently get her used to small spaces. I hope to go backwards from Dons projection, and get another cruising boat, since the last option sucks. Maybe I will carry a cannon ball to sew into my hammock. Thats better than a rest home. ______Grant.

[Mirar]

Hi all, It is definitely a sensitive subject for many. Here in the PNW, there seems to be an inordinately high percentage of cruiser types, doers, donners and dreamers. It seems half the harbors have people heading south or just returning. Could be our winters, do you think?
We made the first trip south in 1981 to the Caribe and a couple more after that for around two years a piece. Now at 63, we are planning on another junket south in our new boat after a shakedown to Alaska.
I think that if you hang up the weather gear">foul weather gear in an anchorage with no other serious cruising types it would be difficult to keep the dream alive. If you want to keep the plan going, you need to be engaged with others in the same mindset. Of course you have to actually like the lifestyle, it is not for everyone.
For us, we enjoyed moving ashore for a few years. We built a nice little home on the sea shore and got to appreciate land based nature after 35+ years on the sea. We even go camping! Now it is time to stop fooling around and get back at it.
We met Jim and Ann Cate in 1987 or so on one of our trips south and they become part of the "tribe" that keeps us wanting to get back out there soon. Those two haven't seemed to stop moving in all these years.
Don't worry , Rich, the kids will move out, flog your business and get back out there.

cheerio, Greg

[LeaseOnLife]

We transitioned from Hasbeens to Wannabees. And we did have parties...

[nhschneider]

This is a great topic and I thank Rich for posting it. Even though we're not even halfway through our circumnavigation, I wonder what we're going to do when we return to California which is still years away. One thing we've considered is maybe parking our boat in La Paz, BCS and living the winter months there while spending the summers in California but I don't know if I'd get restless doing that. Some of my Hasbeen friends have gone into a cruising-related business but I'm not sure I want the headaches that come with owning a business again. I have talked with other cruisers who found re-entry very hard and one couple who's marriage suffered after they completed an extended cruise.

We are close friends with those who are in their 70s and still actively cruise but that's a very personal trait that not all of us have. They rely heavily on electric winches and many of their repairs are performed by others. I know we've all heard anecdotes of those into their 80s who can still climb a 20-meter mast hand-over-hand but those people are legends and we haven't met any of them. There is an undeniable reality that we lose physical strength as we get older and there are situations while cruising that demand stamina and the ability to tolerate discomfort.

This is not a topic over which I lose sleep but I do like hearing how others have dealt with the transition that involves swallowing the hook. Fortunately for me, hook swallowing is still many years away.

Fair winds and calm seas.

[dahshore]

Some thoughts while and after cruising 25 years :

1. It takes too long to get somewhere and life is short.
2. S/V lockers are a bitch to navigate when arthritis and age set in.
3. Enjoy 10 yr [more or less] cruising [which is not the fastest way to travel] life then travel by land.
4. Some just put the oars on their shoulder and walk till someone ask you what those things are on your shoulder-then stop and buy a farm.

Don't get me wrong it is a great life, but only part of a life. For all of those wannabes remember the job and savings you have are for one thing- not possessions, but to buy one thing FREEDOM to do whatever you want and cruising should be one but not all !!!

[sailsw00]

I cruised for a number of years, loved it so much I made a business out of it, doing CAD wiring diagrams, selling celestial software I wrote, and training others to do offshore sailing. Eventually had enough business that I moved ashore and sold the boat. Then got tired of flying to customers' boats and spending so much time being offshore in other peoples' boats that I burned out.
I was ashore for about 15 years, doing the occasional training passage as the mood hit me, but bought another offshore vessel, this time a cat, and now I spend 6 months in the Caribbean and six months ashore. I'm not "cruising" as much as I am "visiting" the islands, but I still end up sailing about 6K NM per year.

[jmsutt84]

I prefer the term have wens. You had the courage and wherewithal to drop the ordinary and sail out to the unknown. In doing so, you have been to places on this planet few other have been to. No one can ever take that away from you.

[Hawkeye]

I was born on the New England coast and playing in the ocean and bays forever. Thirty years ago I moved aboard my first sailboat, sold/traded up to a bigger one, then built the one I have now, and have been living on for about 25 or 6 years. It has been a great deal of fun and I have loved it.

About to turn 68, the schooner is up for sale, but I will not stop cruising. Instead of a boat, I will be buying a good diesel pickup, a motorcycle, and a 30 foot cargo trailer, which I will quickly convert to a travel trailer/toy hauler. Is time to cruise higher altitudes. With a camera and tripod, a GPS and my website, I will be traveling America and Canada, taking pictures, meeting people, and stargazing.

I have no desire to attend gatherings and jostle with the crowds of those who need to do so, but to find the out of the way places, to be alone in peaceful anchorages.

Age and a reduction in physical activity results in a disagreeable loss of strength and stamina, so some minor exercise equipment and a bicycle are also on the menu. I have zero intention of withering away in a rocking chair or in front of a TV.

[hamburking]

My goal was to cross the atlantic under sail.

I completed this in late 2010 on a swan48. Arriving in Antigua, we were totally exhausted both physically and mentally. The skipper couldn't get on a plane to leave fast enough, while I had to wait a week for my bargain flight home. Although it was only a 6 week trip (in total), the return to mundane home life was a big let down. After talking about the trip with a friend, she said "well, now you can say you did it." That was about the worst thing to hear ever, but she was right. It was done, over. After working so hard towards a goal for so many years, now it was achieved, I was a hasbeen. Although that experience had a profound affect on my life, and I refer to those experiences often in private, I avoid saying "I did it", or bringing it up with friends and family at all. Bragging rights were never even contemplated as a reason for doing that challenge.

And now I wonder, is that it? What is my next goal? Am I too old now to push myself like I once did? Is it all downhill from here on?

Like many, my first boat was small. 3 foot-itis over a bunch of years, and several boats, and I had a really nice, big boat. But kids came along as they often do, and finances and time constraints change. Now I have a small boat again. And again I wonder...is that it? Am I just waning now, till the day I have no boat at all? Sure, I've got stories. But they only seem relevant on the way up. On the way down, they seem like old stories that just remind me that I'm on the trailing edge of my sailing life. I walk the docks of my marina and remember not just the boats that were, but the sailors, and when they were put to rest. So leave the hasbeens be. Keep the excitement going. Reach for the horizon. And don't think too much about after. After will be there when you are done.

[captain58sailin]

Better a Has been, than a never was. Think I'll just keep to the ocean until she takes me home.

[SVJennie]

The answer/s to that question could easily fill a book. Having returned from two voyages, the first as an unintentional singlehander, and the second as part of a family of four that didn't plan on circumnavigating, but did, the variables can look like a chapter out of quantum physics.

Each situation is different for when one returns, and although in no specific order, can certainly include more than all of the following:

1. Ages of those on-board
2. Financial status
3. Single handed or with “crew”
4. Marital status
5. Strength of relationship with significant other and/or “crew.”
6. Current business interests
7. Home ownership
8. Type and size of boat
9. Disabilities: both mental and physical
10. Extent of offshore passages
11. Weather
12. Route
13. Time in marinas and/or at anchor
14. Time of year
15. Having or not having a weatherproof dodger
16. Diet and/or diet restrictions
17. Sailing Experience prior to going offshore
18. Threshold related to fear
19. Stamina
20. Length of cruise, both time and distance
21. Sea kindliness of boat

Considering just a few of the above, stepping ashore after cruising can have a wide range of reactions, i.e., from kissing the ground, to planning for the next voyage.

The question then becomes, what kind of baggage do you bring aboard and how will you have changed by the time of your return, and when and/or where will it be from whence you return?

As for me, as I prepare for my third cruising experience, where each prior return resulted in their own unique experience, I particularly like Captain58sailin's response:
"Better a Has been, than a never was. Think I'll just keep to the ocean until she takes me home."

[RTB]

Some go, until they can't go anymore (an old member here *imagine2frolic*) - Sailing with Cancer- One Man's race against time!

Having been inspired by John Rodgers (i2f), we have been cruising and living aboard for going on 3 years. We are about to leave this dock in Texas again soon, and have no reason to believe the end is near, but you never know.


For now, just so happy to be back on the water. Living in a boat yard, on the hard is no fun, and way more work than we old retired cruisers expected to be doing these days.




Ralph

[RTB]

We almost lost another member (Anchorage Guy) recently - The Trawler Beach House: The Ultimate Tribulation

We're so happy you made it, Chuck....if you happen to read this.

Ralph

[CarinaPDX]

An excellent question. I'm still looking for my answer (other than sharing on CF). Been back 5 years, rebuilding the boat, still living aboard, looking forward to heading up to BC and Alaska, and not quite ready to swallow the hook. Cruising was a great experience - it is hard to come up with a next chapter that could compare... Buying an SUV (I can't believe that) and possibly a camper to tow. Who knows? But definitely not willing to be a has-been...

Greg

[keepondancin]

Spent almost 10 great years on the boat, needed to return due to physical issues my wife was having, but they were not unexpected. Started planning for the next period of cruising, bought a larger boat, as grand children started appearing. Wife suffered a catastrophic fall after surgery, never really recovered, and passed away early last year, unexpectedly, peacefully, in her sleep. Only regret is we didn't get to do it again. Have met a very nice Lady who is looking forward to the first sail of this season, and just maybe could be someone who will be on the second voyage. It was hard to return. Cruising made us both different people, but in a very good way. Started sailing at 6, now 67, and still, to this day, get that wonderful feeling when after all the sails are raised, you sheet in, and the boat just starts moving forward and finds her grove. I couldn't do the RV thing, I hate traffic and don't like long distance driving.