Tolerance

[Andrew Troup]

I can think of two reasons why a person might resist using “Ignore”.

Firstly they might wish to remain open to contrary opinion, in the hope it might sometimes swerve them from the ruts of their own.

Secondly (and, it seems to me, alternatively) they might enjoy encountering contrary views, (or, as they might label them, “wrong-headed” views) for the purpose of feeling privately smug and superior to those posters at best, or publicly belittling them at worst.

The worst (but least sophisticated) proponents of this last form seemed to me to haunt the corridors of youTube comments like the smell of overcooked cabbage in a crappy boarding school, last time I read them.

(Admittedly a while ago; but not long ago enough: I’m a slow learner!)

They were so infantile, however that there was no incentive to engage with them.

The best of them never rose to the level of the worst which manages to scrape past the mods here.

[Andrew Troup]

It seems to me that the best subtype we can hope to share a forum with is someone who only reluctantly resorts to “Ignore”. Reluctant because they value the potential benefits of being open to contrary opinion, for the first reason I gave above rather than the second.

Such a person would ideally resort to “Ignore” only for other people whose contrary opinions have proven to be based solely on some nefarious agenda. I’m thinking here of agendas which in no way seek to ‘sidle towards establishing an approximation to true representation, to be held in common’.

One such agenda is beliefs which are based purely on a feeling for their inherent ‘rightness’. “Gods & Guns; Flags & Anchors” spring to mind …

But if we were to use “Ignore” liberally on all such posters, we would have a quiet time of it on a sailing forum!

It would be useful to have a litmus test for the most rabid, close-minded “one true faith” proponents. Such a test might help show whether their self-perceived, self-evident rightness makes them impervious (and incurious) as to how the world ACTUALLY works. Here’s one possibility: have they EVER publicly changed their opinion on any important matter, in response to the ideas of others?

If the answer is a firm “No”, we may not be missing much if we decide that our mental health, and the culture of the forum, would benefit from our ignoring them.

[goboatingnow]

Personally and I've said this before, the use of " ignore" is in my opinion a form of intolerance. The purpose of a forum debate , is not to convince any party to change their ideas. It's merely to highlight the issues and engage in debate. There is no particular need to reach a " conclusion ".

At any stage, its open to any poster to disengage from any particular thread and leave that debate. But from time to time we get people be coming annoyed that their " cherished " ideas get debated or when they can't actually articulate a counter position and decend into either passive aggressive debate or sometimes adhomien attacks.

The simple route is to report such attacks to the mods and let them be the judge. I pleased to say personally I've never used the ignore feature despite nearly 10 years of posting on CF.

Best , IMHO , is to tolerate a significant level of intolerance, short of personal abuse. That way debate is strong and opinionated, it's what's keeps CF great.

Dave

[transmitterdan]

Tolerance isn't about allowing any and all views you don't agree with into your life. Tolerance is about allowing those views to exist at large. Putting someone on your ignore list is an act of tolerance. Turning them in to the mods could be viewed as intolerant if that ends up with the offender banned. Suppression of speech is an intolerant act. Ignoring someone is not being intolerant as it suppresses nothing.

[Greenhand]

Originally Posted by Andrew Troup

I can think of two reasons why a person might resist using “Ignore”.

I was just sent a nasty PM, but before hitting ignore, I checked the member's history and realized that they do make some positive contributions. They might be an arse, but not a completely useless one.

[Mike OReilly]

Originally Posted by Andrew Troup

...One such agenda is beliefs which are based purely on a feeling for their inherent ‘rightness’. “Gods & Guns; Flags & Anchors” spring to mind …

These are the threads I ignore. I do that b/c they always go the same way, and they take up valuable space on the Recent Discussions column. I don't ignore individuals -- at least, not yet.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Mike OReilly

These are the threads I ignore. I do that b/c they always go the same way, and they take up valuable space on the Recent Discussions column. I don't ignore individuals -- at least, not yet.

Ignoring threads is far easier. Ignoring individuals can create confusion within threads you're following. It's like stepping out of a room, coming back in and they're arguing but you can't figure out with whom or what about.

[Stu Jackson]

Originally Posted by BandB

Good choices blow up on us all as well. I get reminded every time I choose a grocery line and the lady in front of me takes forever.

Happens to me all the time.

I call it "Toll Booth Syndrome."

[Coops]

Originally Posted by Greenhand

I was just sent a nasty PM, but before hitting ignore, I checked the member's history and realized that they do make some positive contributions. They might be an arse, but not a completely useless one.

Probably a good time to remind everyone that they do not have to tolerate nasty or offensive pm's. If one is sent to you then simply click on the red triangle, top right of the pm, and it will be reported to us.

Pm's come under the same rules as the open forum and personal attacks via these should neither be utilised or tolerated.

Coops.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Stu Jackson

Happens to me all the time.

I call it "Toll Booth Syndrome."

Sometimes I want to yell "I'll pay for her too if you'll just move her on through." I think sometimes older women especially can't find the change and then they get flustered and it just makes it worse. Then when someone beeps their horn, you know that's going to work against things. Although I did see an FHP officer approach a car that blew it's horn like that one day and as soon as the went through they pulled over to the side. I'm sure just a lecture. Although, in many places including NYC (which with all the horn blowing is unbelievable) it's actually illegal to beep the horn for anything other than a warning to other cars.

illegal in New York City to use “any claxon installed on a motor vehicle” except in an emergency

The fine is $350 and in 2011 they sent text messages warning 13,000 taxi drivers but I don't know if they ever ticketed.

[Coops]

With regards to the shopping lines. Why do folks, usually old ladies, which of course is to be expected because the ladies do shop more than the men, wait until they are told the total price before they start looking for their money/card?

They have been standing there vacantly watching their purchases getting bagged and do not think to get out their purse to make things a little faster? My theory is that they have a sneaking wish that one day the cashier will say" It's ok, it's free today"

Coops.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by Coops

With regards to the shopping lines. Why do folks, usually old ladies, which of course is to be expected because the ladies do shop more than the men, wait until they are told the total price before they start looking for their money/card?

They have been standing there vacantly watching their purchases getting bagged and do not think to get out their purse to make things a little faster? My theory is that they have a sneaking wish that one day the cashier will say" It's ok, it's free today"

Coops.

Don't know about Australia, but in South Florida where we do have more than our share of older ladies, I think it's focusing on one thing and that is making sure the cashier rings their groceries up correctly. They're amazing he way they remember the advertised price and, of course, have their coupons. And often it ends up with "that rang up as too much. It was on sale for $1.79." Cashier looks at paper. "Ma'am. It was just the brown rice, not the white. See" She shows her and they discuss it. Then the lady has to decide if she still wants it at $1.99. You have a hard time not getting annoyed but also realize they're on very tight budgets and they only get by ok by being frugal and watching their pennies. Then after that's all complete, she reaches into her purse. I swear some of the grocery cashier's and bank customer service persons in South Florida have incredible patience. Sometimes I try to just see the humor in my bad luck at being behind the lady. Of course, I'll tell you where we're as bad. We love Bed, Bath and Beyond. But there are tons of their coupons at 20% off an item or $5 off on $15 and we've used as many as 14 coupons on one checkout. We love the store but aren't going to pay full price when 20% and more off is available. But we have had a cashier mess it all up and have to get a manager and start over and could only apologize to those behind us, although it really wasn't our fault. But if you buy 8 of an identical item, it requires 8 coupons.

[D&D]

Wow...the poor "old ladies" sure seem to be copping it here, all the way from South Florida to Australia!

We're intrigued, however, about BandB's love of Bed Bath & Beyond; we assume that's some sort of home furnishing store? The name conjures up heaps of potentially much more twisted possibilities...an adult toy store perhaps?!? Anyway, please excuse our amused thread drift...and we'll now withdraw, passing the baton to the next round of old lady bashing...

[JPA Cate]

Bed, kBath, & Beyond is a chain store in the US, sells stuff for beds, bathrooms, and other stuff as well, like for patio- or pool-based get togethers. There's more, and the quality is reasonable.

A.

[BandB]

Originally Posted by D&D

Wow...the poor "old ladies" sure seem to be copping it here, all the way from South Florida to Australia!

We're intrigued, however, about BandB's love of Bed Bath & Beyond; we assume that's some sort of home furnishing store? The name conjures up heaps of potentially much more twisted possibilities...an adult toy store perhaps?!? Anyway, please excuse our amused thread drift...and we'll now withdraw, passing the baton to the next round of old lady bashing...

Wifey B: Well, was hubby posting the love of BB&B, not to be confused with BandB. No adult toys there, but he does enjoy going to the adult toy store as well. They just don't have coupons. Well, they do have frequent buyer cards.

But back on topic. BB&B has home furnishings, linens, storage items, housewares, China, non-prescription pharmacy type items, lotions, soaps, toiletries, most anything you'd keep in the bathroom. Good selection and with coupons, excellent prices. Oh and for you men, razor blades, shaving creams, razors, all the toiletries you use, and with the coupons good prices.

Now no more old lady bashing. I'll be one in another 90 or 100 years.