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Old 28-04-2016, 09:56   #31
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write it down........

Hi Finns.

Good advice so far --- If you haven't already, learn who you are "single". It's a process. You have to love yourself before you can expect a relationship to be good. And before you can love yourself, you have to know who you are. And you don't need to be in a relationship, you can do this by yourself. I speak from experience.

I'm new to this forum, just joined Christmas Day, 2015 I joined because I wanted to learn more about sailing. Why? Because I met several women last year that had an interest/connection to sailing. I'm single, divorced for over 3 years. My birthday was in January, and I gave myself sailing lessons in the BVI. I looked at Florida, but I've been there lots before. I had never been to the USVI nor the BVI. For $500 more in airfare, I could be in the BVI taking sailing lessons that cost the same in Florida. I had one car guy friend (he sold his sailboat last summer) tell me that I was going to get down to the BVI and lose my return ticket. So, my plan was to go take sailing lessons and see if I liked it. If I did, I would start planning for the future. So, I went for it. I loved sailing more than I did the scuba diving (I did the classroom work here in Memphis).

I almost didn't come back.......... I have a 12 year old daughter who I see a lot, so I flew back home.

I have a small sailboat that sits on my bedroom dresser. It's my constant reminder of things to come. I have the 7 year plan in play. My plan is:
  1. finish the landscaping of my current house
  2. finish the old Mercedes car project in my garage
  3. sell my current house
  4. downsize drastically
  5. buy or rent a smaller house/condo where I can live and my daughter can visit
  6. save more money quicker
  7. buy a small sailboat now --- yes, I'm looking.

So, last night after work, I did a bunch of work on the final phase of the landscaping of my current house. It if rains, I work on the car project...

A friend told me that if you write it down you will do it. So, maybe this thread is your way of writing it down.
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Old 28-04-2016, 10:34   #32
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Finns, I believe that you've received much worthwhile advice. I particularly appreciate the concern for patience and deliberation when making choices after a divorce. I also agree with the advice of learning sailing on a small boat. A small sailboat will give quicker feedback to your actions, but no great damage or harm following basic safety.

I would also suggest, if you move aboard, that you choose a harbor that has access to a varied area of protected cruising and not some location that only has an inlet to the ocean and back. Take your time to enjoy becoming proficient in easy conditions and be mindful of the weather.

In addition, welcome to the community and keep us posted of your adventures!
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Old 28-04-2016, 10:42   #33
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

welcome! this place is good for all types of info.
looks like you did the hardest part by taking the first step and starting the conversation.
I would recommend going to your local yacht club and starting a few conversations.
i'm sure the locals will have all kinds of info and ways for you to get on a boat.
If you make it to FL i will hold a spot for you...
good luck
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Old 28-04-2016, 10:44   #34
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Finns View Post
Hi everyone,

I could use some advice! I find myself a newly single woman at 37 years old. I have always loved the water (grew up in the prairies but drawn to the west coast). I remember spending time on my uncle's boat as a 12 year old and thinking 'I wish I could just live here forever'. That little thought stuck in the back of my head and from then on, I've tried to convince past boyfriends, then my husband that we should pursue the idea and learn what we needed to learn in order to get out there. That was never anyone else's thing though, so I let it go. Now that my husband and I have split up, I find myself wondering what to do with the rest of my days, and this is top of the list. I have zero experience and no unfortunately no partner (at the moment) to share this life with, but I would love to hear any and all suggestions as to how I can work towards this goal.

I have read bits and pieces online (forums and blogs) and in books over the years, but most of what I've read is about the day to day life. I know this would not be an easy way to live, and I'm good with that. Fulfilling is what I'm after. While I am not in a place at this time to actually purchase a boat, I will be coming into some money in the next year or two, so I'd like to start planning now. I just don't know the first step in getting there. Right now I live in Eastern Washington, if that helps.

I'm sure I sound like a naive dreamer, and at this point, that's ok with me. I would like to turn into a well informed dreamer though. Thanks in advance for any advice!
"Let the world say what it will, just make your choices and create your own dreams to achieve your goals." That's what my father used to say.

Welcome and best wishes !
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Old 28-04-2016, 10:57   #35
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

You can easily do it. Just get a boat and live aboard. Here in Western Washington you have some of the best cruising in the world without crossing oceans. If single you don't need a big boat to have a lot of fun. I had as much fun in my 30 footer as anything I had since. 30-32 is a nice size, big enough for all the amenities you need but small enough to handle.
After living aboard for a while you will gradually learn everything you need to know. As far as learning more about sailing there are plenty of local races that you can volunteer to crew on. You learn fast racing.
Heck, worse case scenario is you buy a boat, live aboard a couple years, decide it's not for you , but remember it the rest of your life!
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Old 28-04-2016, 11:30   #36
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Aaaaaaaaaaaah. Another landlubber who has made a sailing dream into reality.


You have already done the biggest part. Made a decision and you are not the first and wont be the last. Been there done that.


Without too much effort on your part, the water will be very near, the wind comes with it and the floaty thing with a stick and a big rag on it will also appear. You have made the decision and the rest will just fall in place.


Paul
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Old 28-04-2016, 11:52   #37
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

I think the dreaming part is one of the most fun to explore. You can make a lot of goofs in your imagination that will help to make the final step more safe and fun. As a fellow female sailor I put a lot of time into crewing. Many vacations were spent on others' boats to see what I liked and didn't want on ours. Even though my husband is a GREAT teacher I still liked the idea of a female sailing class. Sorry guys, I learned a lot sailing on race boats with the guys in the old days but crusing is so very different and some of us females need to learn from each other to gain our feet and feeling of self-reliance. Remember to have fun during this learning stage and take your time as well.
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Old 28-04-2016, 11:54   #38
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

I would go to Florida and take a week long course and get bare boat certified.
You can take a woman's only course if you prefer.
That will immerse you into the sailing element and community.
I bet you will be addicted.
I have 5 months before retirement to a boat as a live aboard
Fair skies and following seas.
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Old 28-04-2016, 13:11   #39
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Hey All


The support is awesome..................and may I say a tad "running in a force 8 with a running sea". She has just declared and whew what a response.


We grotty yotties are a sociable bunch?????
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Old 28-04-2016, 13:31   #40
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

I am overwhelmed by the responses I've gotten here. Thank you all so much. It's starting to feel real all of a sudden! I had a hard time falling asleep last night because I couldn't stop thinking about it! I know this will not happen overnight, and that's a good thing. I am doing my best to take your advice to heart about being single for a while. I'm the type of person who enjoys thinking out loud and likes to bounce ideas off of others. And I actually do have a dog - he's dumb as a stump, but very sweet and I'm sure he will listen to me ramble about my dreams!
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Old 28-04-2016, 13:36   #41
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

See........................there are many who have done what you seek. Just stick to your choice and its gonna be a nice ride. Just like being at sea, at times it may be rough, times may be in the doldrums but just hold her steady. On course.


Simple logic, as the sea is very much life. She shall never be taken for granted and once one gets caught in her embrace, thats all there is.
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Old 28-04-2016, 15:42   #42
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by On The Water View Post
A boat helps
Just add water to that !

Want to dream - go sailing
Want to meditate - go sailing
Need counselling - go sailing (talking to your boat helps - but be warned, she does talk back)

Someone said it earlier, find a sailing club and just offer to crew for a bit. Strangers become friends quickly. You will learn quickly. Enjoy.

Then decide what direction you want.
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Old 28-04-2016, 16:19   #43
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Hi I suggest you try some dinghy sailing at a lake or river in your local area. You will then master many key concepts, but you will likely get wet. You should not need to buy a dinghy as sailing clubs have them and will provide lessons while you start out crewing. Then next step up and and then the next until you reach your dream
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Old 28-04-2016, 17:20   #44
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Sailing, buying a boat is the easy part. Cutting the strings to your land-based life is the rub. It all has to do with your economics and what you are tied to and/or can afford.
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Old 28-04-2016, 18:11   #45
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by wugwa View Post
Aaaaaaaaaaaah. Another landlubber who has made a sailing dream into reality.


You have already done the biggest part. Made a decision and you are not the first and wont be the last. Been there done that.
l
Hate to pop the dreaming bubble but the biggest part is working financially and getting educated on sailing. There are thousands of members on this forum who continually "looking for the right boat" for years with little intention of following through. That's fine and they
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