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Old 27-04-2016, 17:58   #16
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

G'Day Finns,

First, welcome to CF. You'll find a lot of sympathetic ears here, and lots of proffered help, some of which may be useful. We get a lot of newbies asking how to get into the sailing life, and all sorts of ideas pop up. This is my take for your situation:

First, if you really love the ocean and want to get involved in sailing, the first thing is to move to a location that is on that ocean! Preferably one where the weather allows year round sailing. Then get involved... meaning follow the advice above and join some sort of sailing group... yacht club, sailing club, whatever is available. Go sailing on OPBs (other peoples' boats)... racing is one approach, but crewing just for casual day sails is a lower stress approach for some folks. Hang out around marinas and hardstands, where you can offer to help with maintenance, even if it is unskilled grunt labour. This approach almost guarantees invitations to go sailing, and you learn about some of the less attractive aspects of boat ownership, again on someone else's nickle.

When you have done this for a while, you will have learned enough about sailing and about yourself to make informed decisions about where you want to be heading. This is a hell of a lot better than asking a bunch of well meaning strangers about how to spend your next few years! You will have generated a lot of contacts in the sailing world, had a lot of fun, and learned some useful things... and perhaps will decide that yes, this is the life for you. If so, you will be well placed to continue down the slippery road to being a life-time sailor. IF a partner has appeared during this time, swell. At least he will be a sailor to start with!

good luck with it all,


Jim and Ann
s/v Insatiable back in MBTBC marina, waiting for next eye jobs to be done
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Old 27-04-2016, 18:03   #17
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Thanks everybody! I am excited to get started!

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Old 27-04-2016, 18:05   #18
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Hi, there, Finns, welcome to CF.

It is not unfortunately. It is fortunately.

It is more difficult when there is a partner because one can wrongly take their partner's dream for their own. I think this may be especially true if you're a 'follow along' kind of person.

As long as you can tell the difference between a new partner and a new life, you are fine.

As for the hard core of your question, the answer is straightforward: the way from dreaming to reality is by acting. Absolutely!

Do not over-worry the hows and the apparent difficulty. Simply buy a boat you like in a place you like and start living in it. You may like cruising too, it is only one step up from living onboard. Then you may like sailing too, it is only one step up from cruising.

Take care, stick to your guns, dream, act, live.

You are going to be on the steep part of the learning curve for a while, there's a lot to learn.

If you're going to remain in your present location, pick up a small day sailer, even a sunfish, and get out on the water. Lake water will do. The winds will be fluky. Learn by doing.

Or, if you're going to move to somewhere around Puget Sound, you can join a club and get in a women's sailing program. This way, you will meet potential friends with a common interest, and if you stay interested, racing is another way to absorb a lot about sailing and crewing--what to do and not do. Volunteer to help others at haulout time. There is also private instruction.

If your divorce is still recent, consider all changes really carefully and take your time.

There are many ways of having a fulfilling lifestyle. Cruising, although it sounds all "mai tais in the sunset", has scary periods, periods of intense work, and working hard to learn new stuff. All doable, just not necessarily for everyone. More experience on the water will give you the data to make good decisions for you.

Other single woman (I am not) on the forum include <zeehag>, SailorChic34, Lizzy Belle, Nicholson 58, vjm, Gamayun, and others. CF has a thread called "Single Sailors Seeking Soul Mates" that you might be interested in, after you have completed your healing from the break-up.

In the meantime, make an outline plan, and start getting on the water, inexpensively, I think that's where your path is now. [There are a couple of threads "Cruising on $500 a Month," part I and there's a part II, as well, as you will see, buying a cruising boat is only one small part of the whole picture, there're maintenance costs. Zeehag had an interesting thread called "Ka-lunk" about when her engine suicided in Mexico, and SailorChic, who is an engineer, about her engine rebuild, called (maybe) "I Got Bored, So I"-- I can't really remember the rest, something like pulled the head off my engine or Tore Down my engine. Use the CF Custom Google Search under the Search menu button.

Also, there's a Mermaids Forum on CF, somewhere; someone will tell you how to get in touch.

Welcome aboard, again.

Ann & Jim, U.S. s/v Insatiable II, SE Qld, for a while
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Old 27-04-2016, 18:53   #19
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

That's very helpful! Thank you so much! This is something that has been on my mind for as long as I can remember. I'm excited to be at a point in my life that it is finally a real possibility!
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Old 27-04-2016, 19:07   #20
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Check out Women's Sailing Association.
1st rule of yachting: When a collision is unavoidable, aim for something cheap.
"whatever spare parts you bring, you'll never need"--goboatingnow
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Old 27-04-2016, 19:18   #21
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Sounds like you are headed due west. There are quite a few folks on here in the Puget Sound area who would be glad to help you get on the water! If you can afford a little boat you learn on, that is a great way to start because all the skills you learn on a tiny boat are pretty much the same for clipper ships. Don't quote me on that though, it will start a fight here!
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Old 27-04-2016, 22:07   #22
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Originally Posted by Finns View Post
Haha! I guess "rest of my days" sounds a bit dramatic! I just meant that I fully expected to have stayed married to my ex and living out a different path. Now I find myself at loose ends trying to figure out how I want to spend my life. Instead of just working and paying my mortgage and saving bits and pieces to get to vacation occasionally.

I do not know how to sail at all yet. I just love the ocean. I actually teared up when I had to leave the last time I visited Ruby Beach on the Olympic Peninsula. I would love to work my way up to traveling around the world.
I just returned to the Olympic Peninsula, born in Port Angeles, was gone from here many many years. I also lived in Eastern Washington, Tricitys, then Walla Walla, yacht clubs in both by the way. I've been single for many years now, by choice, I saw it as the only way to get to my dream, the boat I'm on now. Also just tired of the F-ing drama. I agree with much that has been suggested here, but to be honest from what I've seen of yacht clubs, drinking club is more accurate, nothing wrong with that if it's your thing, just not mine anymore. I wholeheartedly agree with "taking the time to get to know yourself, perhaps that could be on your own boat? The time spent getting to know her (boat ) learning to sail, repair's, upkeep, more repair's, cooking, eating, reading, maintenance, painting, you get the picture? anyway, it a great way to get to know who you really are. You'll find out if it's the life you really want. You will change, you will grow and become confident in who you are, comfortable in your own skin if you know what I mean. Hell you might find that the single life is a good life. That does not have to mean being alone, it can be what you want it to mean, no one to tell you otherwise! I had this dream since I was about 5 or 6, now I'm living it, but wish I had done it many years earlier. So do it, as soon as you can, just do it. We only get one life, this is not a rehearsal, it's up to you, live life or just dream it. Good luck in whatever you decide.
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Old 27-04-2016, 23:58   #23
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Crap Finns, where have you been all my life?

A single woman that wants to go sailing. If I could get only get my wife more into the idea.

And you're from Eastern Washington no less! Crazy, I grew up in Spokane but moved back in 90's down here to San Diego, where the sailing rocks.

At any rate, in Washington the real sailing is on the west side save for maybe cruising in a small boat at Couer d'Alene or Pond D'Oreille lakes.

Like the others have already said. Get into it and make it happen
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Old 28-04-2016, 00:38   #24
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

hey hey!!
first off, welcome to CF!!!
Wow, I read this post of yours and was struck by the similarities in our situations. I'm a decade older than you and male, otherwise my story is quite similar to your own. I also live in eastern WA, transplant from VA, been living here raising my son for the last 16 of the 20 years I've been here. Never would have stayed somewhere with such brutal winters otherwise.
Summer of 2017 I'll have sold my property and am headed to S. Florida where I hope to find a nice sailboat, although it's possible that I'll have to go to panama or elsewhereever the right boat is residing at the time. I have a little bit of experience on the water, but plan on spending a year or three sailing around the Caribbean basin to up my competency. I'm hoping & planning on then either circumnavigating or crossing to the med for a while, the former seems most likely. One never knows though so time will tell.
I'm really psyched to get going and waiting the 13 months left is excruciating. I find endless reading, planning, and studying helps me to pass the time.

Best of luck with your plans
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Old 28-04-2016, 07:31   #25
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

get a big dog for a partner and do what you like. I had an akita that was just like being married, he farted, snored and thought everything was his. Some of the best advice I ever got was 'live by yourself and learn to love the company you keep.' Every thing else will fall into place when you master that. I'm three to four years away from my boat and that's only because I want to pay everything off and have the money to untie the lines on a cash basis. I have two dogs now and a sailing dingy I built myself and a dream that keeps me learning and looking forward to the next day. IMHO a partner should compliment my dreams, not require me to compromise to keep them.

I still miss my akita.
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Old 28-04-2016, 07:42   #26
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

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Old 28-04-2016, 07:50   #27
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

If you really want to get to know what living on a boat is like you can e-mail me... i have lived on a couple of sail boats this boat now has been 4 years now... getting it ready to sail to the Philippines..

Jay Walter
S/V Patience
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Old 28-04-2016, 07:56   #28
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Hi, and welcome to the club. It seems you have already made up your mind, so nothing more about that. There are many things to learn, but nothing difficult. All steps towards your goal are small except one, buying the boat. I propose to start thinking already now what kind of a boat would be the best for you, so you are ready and know exactly what you want when you have the money. There are many kind of boats, and many kind of preferences. People on this list are usually eager to comment if you tell them what your budget and preferences are.
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Old 28-04-2016, 07:58   #29
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Unhappy Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

I am blessed as I have a wife of 35 years who just told me she wanted to do the Great Loop. Mind you, I have always loved the sea and boats but had given up on it because she was afraid of the water (doesn't swim well and not too adventuresome). At any rate she came out of the blue with this one so we are in process of buying "our" boat (I've owned one or more boats nearly all my life). This one is our choice and though a bit smaller and older, it suits our needs and purpose well. What I am trying to say, I guess, is single or together, go chase your dream. If you can't do that together, it either comes between you or makes one of you unhappy (and thereby both of you in the long run). Sharing your passions are what should be at the core of any relationship). It is most likely that you will seek another in the future (at your age, probabilities are good). In the meantime follow your path diligently and build some confidence in who you are and what you want. Sailing/boating and living aboard is a lifestyle. It has it perks and its pitfalls but that is true of all lifestyles. In developing who you are, what you want to be don't let anyone ore anything make the decisions for you - they can share with you,sure, but you need to be who you want to be and do what you want to do. Go down to the sea and just take it all in. Find boats to look at on line, in magazines and on various forums like this (try AGLCA). Don't limit yourself to the area where you are now. Look at Hawaii, the Caribbean, the East Coast, the inner coastal waterway, Texas, Florida and even the Great Lakes. That's part of boating. Life is an adventure. Go live it.
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Old 28-04-2016, 08:37   #30
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Re: This is still just a dream, how do I get there? :)

Welcome to the you can see, the men here are more than willing to help you. That said. it's best to separate relationships from personal dreams. I could go on about why from my personal life but I'll spare you and the threads the details.
I have two good female friends on this forum who are living their dreams currently. one is (forum handle) Nia Cruisers & Sailing Forums - View Profile: Nia ,who is/was single, dreamed of owner her own boat and over time worked towards that goal and in a few years, sold her land base life, bought a boat and as far as I know, is anchored in the Caribbean. Friend number two is Caribicjewel Cruisers & Sailing Forums - View Profile: Caribicjewel who chose to crew on other peoples vessels and is quite fulfilled doing that. One thing both women have in common is a zest for adventure and not needing a man to do it.
Lets face it...women have no problems attracting one relationship after another. For men it's a little tougher. It seems to be the different ways both are wired. If you want to go sailing and feel that sense of freedom and independence, you can't do it by relying on having a partner to get you there. You have to do it on your own first. I know many people who say they understand that concept, yet swing from one relationship to another.
May all your dreams be realized.

"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming: Wow - what a ride!"
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