Spouse hates my boat

[TrentePieds]

Quote: "I think from the aforementioned post, that was not the meaning and I think you know that."

Yes, I do. I was just being gentle as I usually am. I noted, subsequent to that remark being made, that I was not the only man on this forum who took offense.

Not that the situation is ever likely to arise, but by this single instance of such uncouth language the person who uttered it has excluded himself not only from my X-mas open house, but also from ever setting foot aboard

TrentePieds

[Celestialsailor]

Originally Posted by TrentePieds

Quote: "I think from the aforementioned post, that was not the meaning and I think you know that."

Yes, I do. I was just being gentle as I usually am. I noted, subsequent to that remark being made, that I was not the only man on this forum who took offense.

Not that the situation is ever likely to arise, but by this single instance of such uncouth language the person who uttered it has excluded himself not only from my X-mas open house, but also from ever setting foot aboard

TrentePieds

I can honestly say I can learn a lot from a person like you...thanx...

[Dirk Williams]

" Right from Wrong", " Why WE don't use it" . Boys, I know exactly what I said, I said exactly what I meant. If the word offends your conscience, then I highly recommend you don't use it


Ladies if I offended you, my sincere apologies

Dirk Williams

[JPA Cate]

Thanks, Dirk, it was a little OTT to me.

Ann

[Cadence]

Doesn't anyone think the rehash has gone on enough. Make a decision her or her. The floating one doesn't have a voice.

[Larry Florida]

Too much noise on this thread. Did the OP live happily ever after or a miserable existence?

[Celestialsailor]

Well...it sounds like he might have worked it out with his partner. But the fact he doesn't respond may indicate he is not involved with CF anymore and one might conclude he is boatless.
My former wife became disenchanted with the cruising idea after months of talking about it before we married. Five years later, I literally gave her the house and I took the boat. Such was life at the time. Somehow, I landed on my feet and she used the house as an ATM machine and eventually lost it. Such is Karma.

[alfreddiaz]

Did I read that right? 26 pages of replies. You hit on a hot topic. And by the way, anyone who says you need to somehow involve your wife needs to walk in your shoes to truly understand the situation. I know. I am there right now. Though my wife hasn't said either her or the boat. But she refuses to have anything to do with it.

All I can say is that boat is more than a pass time or recreational activity. What you have in your vessel (mind you with the understanding that God rules our lives) is a little bit of destiny in your hands. You are the captain of your own ship, be it a boat or yacht a freakin' canoe. You set your course. You are in charge. And she knows it.

Now I am going out on a limb and guessing that there are power struggles at home. In my case there are. And if your wife is like mine, your wife feels or would feel lost and helpless on your boat. And for all those people with advice on how to change her, you would sooner change the weather. You would sooner stop the tides. You would be better off trying to stop time. Get it?

You can't change anyone. They have to want to change.

Here's another thought. I would tell never tell my wife to pick either knitting or me. Frankly, I think knitting is a waste of time when we could be having adventures and spending time with the kids. Knitting sucks, crocheting and all that stuff is for land locked land lubbers that like to sit on their rears.

Do not give up your dreams. This is a control issue. And you may have to sail alone, but sail you must. The ocean calls you. So disregard that nagging in the background.

The sea knows your name. And you must answer her beckoning.

Keep the boat.

Signed,

A lonely but happy skipper.

[Sirzones]

Nothing makes you forget the last one, like the next one😄

[Razoo]

I know you're not me, but I would dump the female problem and not the boat. Plenty of females anywhere you can sail a boat to.

[rwidman]

Originally Posted by ntscout

ok, so long time lurker, not much of a poster. Really need some advice on this.

I have an older boat that I have completely restored to like new condition. Surveyor says it is in bristol condition. I absolutely adore this boat and have put so many hours into researching, restoring and using it. Recently got my 100T Captains license as well.

Here's the rub, my wife hates my boat, the slowness of boat travel and the ocean. Not only that, but she hates it when I want to use the boat by myself or go somewhere with a group of boaters. I love boating, have had boats all my life (two boats before marriage even) except when kids (and their horses, braces, education etc) depleted all available funds.

It is not a money issue - I retired early with no debt and money in the bank. I am not sure what kind of issue it is but the long and short of it is that I have been given an ultimatum about my "obsession" and told to sell it because it is damaging the marriage.

Looking for help understanding this. Almost cried today when I faxed the signed listing over to the broker. Now I am lost, I don't have any other hobbies or interests. I almost feel like a close friend has died.

What does a sailor without a boat do? Where to go on this?

Can you see where seeking advice on a wife vs. boat on a boating forum is not the best idea?

None of us know you or your wife any better than a marriage counselor would after five minutes so my suggestion is for the both of you to see one. If your wife won't go, go alone.

[boatman61]

[QUOTE=Razoo;2316208]I know you're not me, but I would dump the female problem and not the boat. [Quote]

Hmm.. a Donald Trump sympathiser..

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by rwidman

Can you see where seeking advice on a wife vs. boat on a boating forum is not the best idea?

None of us know you or your wife any better than a marriage counselor would after five minutes so my suggestion is for the both of you to see one. If your wife won't go, go alone.

I thought this went away weeks ago. You nailed it Ron.

[JPA Cate]

Plus, if you remember, the guy decided to both keep the boat, and work it out with his wife!

This type of thread brings feminists and unhappy men out of the woodwork to get snarky. Let's just let it die a reasonable death, eh?

Ann

[geoleo]

Originally Posted by ntscout

ok, so long time lurker, not much of a poster. Really need some advice on this.

I have an older boat that I have completely restored to like new condition. Surveyor says it is in bristol condition. I absolutely adore this boat and have put so many hours into researching, restoring and using it. Recently got my 100T Captains license as well.

Here's the rub, my wife hates my boat, the slowness of boat travel and the ocean. Not only that, but she hates it when I want to use the boat by myself or go somewhere with a group of boaters. I love boating, have had boats all my life (two boats before marriage even) except when kids (and their horses, braces, education etc) depleted all available funds.

It is not a money issue - I retired early with no debt and money in the bank. I am not sure what kind of issue it is but the long and short of it is that I have been given an ultimatum about my "obsession" and told to sell it because it is damaging the marriage.

Looking for help understanding this. Almost cried today when I faxed the signed listing over to the broker. Now I am lost, I don't have any other hobbies or interests. I almost feel like a close friend has died.

What does a sailor without a boat do? Where to go on this?

Ditch wife -keep boat