Re: ptsd. I know you dont mean the kind refered to with soldiers. But I know the feeling you describe.
A few years ago we trailored our boat to lake powell. It was the trip from hell. We did fine on our way there but coming home......the ring on the bow that hold the boat to the trailer pulled out coming diwn off Vail pass. We added more lines arounf the hull
and trailer and carried on but with a bit of worry. But the time we were within 5 miles of home the traffic was heavy and it was dusk when the tow hitch came apart and the boat, now just hanging to the truck by the safty chain, swung out into traffic perpendicular to the truck.
Somehow we got the boat and truck stopped safely. We left the boat on the side of the road (no lights on the road) and made it Walmart just before they closed to buy a new hitch ball.
Home again, boat safe and our knees quaking.
We never trailered that boat again. When we got our new boat it took about a year to stop looking over our shoulders. We felt nauseous everytime we took the boat out.
Our solution was to just keep going and accept that we felt fear but to do it anyway.
Fear is good. We dont like the feeling but you can recognize it for what it is and work through it.
Fear reminds to to double check the hitch after its been bounced around rough roads for hours, to keep your pfd
where you can use it, to keep a weather
eye and think about what comes next at each stage. Dont worry about feeling fear, just recognize its telling you something specific. In your case its just telling you to keep gaining experience and knowledge for next time. Think of fear not as something to be avoided but as an early warning system for keeping you safe.