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Old 26-02-2012, 10:44   #1
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Its Not How Much Someone Costs, Its What You Bring to the Table.

I have been watching the how much does some woman or man costs threads for sometime. They were sometimes interesting but mostly irritating. And it wasn't because they were reducing a relationship to a commodity, but because they were so unrealistic. You always assume person "X" is going to be a liability, wither a big one or a small one is how well you choose.
Or the other extreme, where a woman or man is perfect beyond compare and is always going to lighten your life and give you the easy street.
I think you got it all wrong.
After 30 years of monogamy, I think it is more like what do you bring to the table.
Some people may be monogamous.
Some may be hardworking.
Some may be excellent navigators and cooks,
others may be brave and cool in a storm.
Some may be able to repair any system on the boat with a paperclip,
others may be experts on tropical diseases and how to treat and avoid them.
And the list goes on.
I think the key to a successful boat couple is to show your cards to the other, and see if together you have a winning hand. Some, like me, consider the loyality card above all others.
So what do you bring to the table?
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Old 26-02-2012, 10:50   #2
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Now this is what should have been posted in that "cost" thread! I read the thread, and like you, refrained (hard for me) from posting to it.

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Old 26-02-2012, 10:54   #3
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

I agree w/ you on this, I sailed for years by myself. It's really enjoyable having someone to share the adventures with. Companionship is a valueable comodity while cruising. Does'nt matter what the cost is if your happy and enjoying life afloat. I'm really tired of single-handing. Having a partner to help w/ standing watchs just makes life better. No gripes here. Michael
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Old 26-02-2012, 11:14   #4
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Connie and I have 60,000 sea miles together!! and still get along!(even better when we find the new boat LOL) it's just respect, me for her, her for me ! and a little kindness once in a while helps !! LOL we just keep going on ! 28 yrs and countin !! Bob and Connie
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Old 26-02-2012, 11:16   #5
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Quote:
Originally Posted by rubyjean View Post
I agree w/ you on this, I sailed for years by myself. It's really enjoyable having someone to share the adventures with. Companionship is a valueable comodity while cruising. Does'nt matter what the cost is if your happy and enjoying life afloat. I'm really tired of single-handing. Having a partner to help w/ standing watchs just makes life better. No gripes here. Michael
I'm tired of single-handing too.

Hint, hint,
zeehag, Astrid, Saucy, blueskyzjonesy, sarafina, Laura Dekker in about 10 years, et al.
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Old 26-02-2012, 11:19   #6
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

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Connie and I have 60,000 sea miles together!! and still get along!(even better when we find the new boat LOL) it's just respect, me for her, her for me ! and a little kindness once in a while helps !! LOL we just keep going on ! 28 yrs and countin !! Bob and Connie
Now that is a sea life that can inspire us all! Do you hear the applause Bob and Connie? You should cause you deserve it!
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Old 26-02-2012, 11:48   #7
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Well said Newt. Those threads did pee me off for the reasons you mentioned.

It seems that most of us wish to make our dreams come true with the right company. For those of us who havent found the 'right company' yet, the obstacles seem many and varied but please try not to fall into the trap of continually finding fault. Me included.
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Old 26-02-2012, 11:50   #8
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Not everyone posting on the "what does it cost" thread was trashing the opposite sex. Some of us even suggested that those that were should have been taking a harder look at themselves.
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Old 26-02-2012, 13:41   #9
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Thanks Newt. A welcome respite from all the bashing, and "my way is the only way" comments that so often dominate (and destroy) these threads.

We just celebrated our 24th year together. Have been sailing for 10 of those years, mostly cruising the upper Great Lakes during the spring/summer months. We've finally picked the "cut the lines" date: Summer 2014.

We are happier, and have more time for each other, when we're out there. Cruising clears the clutter that gets in the way of life, and that gets in the way of us. As a couple we respect and trust each other -- there's no other way of living with someone. We both bring different skills to the cruising life. Neither of us would want to do it alone (even if we could).
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Old 26-02-2012, 16:17   #10
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Newt,

Did you say she brought this to the table?............


"Some people may be monogamous.
Some may be hardworking.
Some may be excellent navigators and cooks,
others may be brave and cool in a storm.
Some may be able to repair any system on the boat with a paperclip,"


And as a doctor you brought this?..............


"others may be experts on tropical diseases and how to treat and avoid them."


IMHO, I'd say you got the better deal. Yes?
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Old 26-02-2012, 18:21   #11
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Tropical diseases are easy ya get an RN like Connie, and lots of good Meyers Rum and a little rest !! Works for me LOL Bob and Connie
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Old 26-02-2012, 18:34   #12
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Its the unquantifiable things that makes sailing partnerships so special, shared experiences and memories are but 2 of them.
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Old 26-02-2012, 18:39   #13
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

Wonderblond and I have been sailing together for 34 years now. Smartest thing I ever did, back when we were looking to buy our first liveaboard, was to purchase the boat she wanted rather than the boat I wanted. What a joy to own a boat that the love of your life wants to spend time aboard, to sail, to entertain friends aboard.
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Old 26-02-2012, 18:54   #14
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

We all become what we measure. Measure costs and that is the person you become, measure faults and that is the person you become, and measure liabilites and that is the person you become. Measure kindness and that is the person you become, measure support and that is the person you become, measure love and that is the person you become.

We are not defined by our gender; we are defined by our character.

Those threads are irritating, demeaning, and foster prejudices .... annoying to say the least. Thank you for posting this thread Newt.
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Old 26-02-2012, 19:24   #15
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Re: Its not how much someone costs, Its what you bring to the table:

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Newt,

Did you say she brought this to the table?............


"Some people may be monogamous.
Some may be hardworking.
Some may be excellent navigators and cooks,
others may be brave and cool in a storm.
Some may be able to repair any system on the boat with a paperclip,"


And as a doctor you brought this?..............


"others may be experts on tropical diseases and how to treat and avoid them."


IMHO, I'd say you got the better deal. Yes?
How very perceptive of you
But I did bring some money to revamp the boat....you know- new electronics and new sails are always nice.
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