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Old 05-08-2011, 01:25   #31
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

You never state that the two of you have sailed anywhere at anytime. Have the two of you sailed together? Have you even packed up and lived in a tent together for any time in the backwoods?
And you are acting like a man, "I want you to go with me on this bestest adventure of my life and you have to give up everything you want and like to do it - otherwise as much as I like you, I don't need you".
A few of us would tell you to give up everything you want and desire and come live the way we want you to.
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Old 05-08-2011, 01:40   #32
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Re: Woman first, boat later...

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Originally Posted by Boracay View Post
But what if:-
You buy a mono and she'd go if it was a cat?
You buy a traditional older boat, and she'd really like a Beneteau?
You buy a sailboat, and she's thinking power?
You buy a trawler, she's thinking Searay?

Why not take her boat shopping?
That's what I did and we (My wife and I) looked at the boat I wanted first but didn't tell her and after a couple of years of owning a smaller sailboat and looking at lots of different types of sailboats we bought the catamaran I really wanted and could afford and she thinks she helped make the desision There's an advantage for an extra room or two for grand kids to visit.
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Old 05-08-2011, 01:52   #33
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

It beats single handing on those long lonley nights!!! (sorry! thought I'd bring it down a level)
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Old 05-08-2011, 05:40   #34
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

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Originally Posted by hummingway View Post
It's interesting to see the difference in the way women and men answer this. To generalize and with apologies to any who feel poorly characterized, the men answer how they see it, tinged with a certain cynicism and the woman answer how they'd like it, coloured with optimism. It's possible the truth may lie in between ...
Men choose women, hoping they'll stay the same.
Women choose men, hoping they can change (improve) them.
Both are, generally, disappointed.
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Old 05-08-2011, 05:56   #35
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

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Men choose women, hoping they'll stay the same.
Women choose men, hoping they can change (improve) them.
Both are, generally, disappointed.
The more I think about it the more I feel I need to have my life in order before I ask someone to drop everything and go.
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Old 05-08-2011, 06:18   #36
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

Don, You sound like a pretty together guy who doesn't want to risk a voyage, with a destination that you found was disappointing. Sound a lot like cruising, doesn't it.
You won't know until you get there, but you can enjoy the sail. Seriously.
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Old 05-08-2011, 07:19   #37
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

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I like her too, but, just as I would be unwilling to get her to come to the boat against her dreams, I will not change my dreams to fit her expectations.
I think this part really answers your question. When you are a couple you have shared dreams. If you are each pursuing your own dream and just living together you are roommates. There are two completely different application processes for these two positions.

Jim
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Old 05-08-2011, 07:38   #38
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

Aren't relationships alot like boats, they both require compromise.

If your goals are not met in either you will eventually be unhappy with what you have.

Men are logical, women are more emotional and if there is no clear understanding signals can be miscommunicated.

When I'm in a situation of being able to go, I will take the little lady for short outings and move slowly toward longer periods (that breaks me in also) and then make the decision for the big one.
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Old 05-08-2011, 08:44   #39
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

"How to explain to A woman"? All these generalizations,- less logical, more emotional, are a pathway to problems. People are remarkably different. I don't know wether I was skilled or lucky to find a woman to move aboard with me, but I do notice with some pride that her two most expensive outfits are her weather gear">foul weather gear and her wet suit!
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Old 05-08-2011, 10:39   #40
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

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That is my opinion.
Here I am, after talking to my wife, (she's on the mantle), I have come to the conclusion that I don't really want any ties to land, who ever they are.

My problem now is how to dump her without hurting her. The real problem is the other woman, the dancer in Beverly Hills and the sailor in Mobile. What about them? Kathy is here, I can deal with it. But Sonjia and Kim are the real problem.

The Irish colleen in Cape May is fine for a night or two and she might even sail for a week or two. Life is a bitch.
Damn Gigalo!!glad I dont have your problems..with all those women when will you ever find time to sail?good luck...not that you need it!DVC
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Old 05-08-2011, 11:16   #41
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

Take her to a fairground on the most cold, windy and rainy day possible - and take her on the biggest Roller Coaster ..........and halfway around; ask her to sh#t in a bucket

IMO pretty much captures the sailing thing in the shortest time possible and if she's still keen then can move onto stage 2 - living in a closet 24/7........
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Old 05-08-2011, 14:54   #42
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

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Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey View Post
Take her to a fairground on the most cold, windy and rainy day possible - and take her on the biggest Roller Coaster ..........and halfway around; ask her to sh#t in a bucket

IMO pretty much captures the sailing thing in the shortest time possible and if she's still keen then can move onto stage 2 - living in a closet 24/7........

hell I don't want to be on a boat now, especially Davids boat
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Old 05-08-2011, 15:04   #43
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

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When a woman says she'll follow you anywhere, does that include a boat?

I am dating a woman that expounds undying like for me and wants to spend the rest of her year with me.
It's only a few months, so just give it a go.
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Old 05-08-2011, 19:27   #44
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

I have been reading through some of this.
Having been with a sailor, for MANY years, and thinking I would follow him anywhere. I can not honestly say that I do not believe I could LIVE on a boat full time. I have done 2weeks aboard etc etc...Years of sailing here and there, just the two of us and with kids. But honestly if he wanted to go and live aboard for a year or more I would probably tell him to go. That we could touch base every now and again, maybe I would even travel/fly out and spend a week or so on the water with him. But I do know, at least right now, there is no way I could commit to such a thing. I would go insane.
If this is really something you want to do and you really mean something to her, and she means something to you, you tell her your plan, do not ask her if she wants to go with you, just ask her what she thinks about it and if she might be able to join you for some of the fun. Then wait and see what she says.
Good luck-
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Old 05-08-2011, 20:34   #45
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Re: How to Explain to a Woman what Liveaboard Means ?

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Originally Posted by Sun Goddezz View Post
If this is really something you want to do and you really mean something to her, and she means something to you, you tell her your plan, do not ask her if she wants to go with you, just ask her what she thinks about it and if she might be able to join you for some of the fun. Then wait and see what she says.
Good luck-
This is exactly the way, or one way anyway to go about it. Best wishes for you and your lady friend.
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