We're tied up to a mooring
in Two Harbors, Catalina Island
We've heard from time to time "Have ya met Crabby Joe?".
"Nope, not yet" we'd answer.
This crazy old buzzard rows up to our swimstep and want's to know everything about everything about us. I later learn his name is Crabby Joe.
I first offer visitors a Bud Lite or a Stella, and if we're grillin', a plate of what ever happens to be on our menu for the night.
He declines (for the moment) and asks about our satellite
tracking TV dome. Caustic attitude from the old salt
, hence the name "Crabby" I guess,, but we're rollin' with the conversation to be socialable.
"Ya spent all that money and ya don't get HD?
" -he spits out in an abrasive style like when your dad is mad at you.
really and I'm enjoying this guys visit.
"Not available with auto tracking domes on Direct TV and very limited with Dish. The digital signal with our flat screens is still very outstanding
" - I answer.
He gives me a look like I got screwed on the deal.
"How come your kids tie up the dingy with a BIG cleat?
" The old Jasper then fires at me.
My thoughts were "what's it to ya, ya old sourpuss(?)", but I remained polite and said: "tiny hands work the big cleat better, and more reliable than a knot for beginners
". I don't need my dingy drifting off into the night on the strength of a bad knot
Ok,, Crabby Joe cooks up another question:
"What kinda fuel bill do you burn through with this boat?
"Probably less for the whole summer than one months slip rental for you"
-I fire back.
I put some Caribbean Music
on and he then asks about my "daughter."
"That's my wife"
"Kinda young isn't she?
- the old b@stard replies.
"If ya can't find a good woman,, raise one"
-I fire back.
His melon started spinning on that take.
"She must keep you pretty busy then?
"All I have to do is hang on"
- I fire back.
Wife is sleeping down below, hears the conversation through the bedroom window and makes an appearance on deck
"Well,, I noticed you're regulars here and I just wanted to get to know more about you"
- said the cranky old Crabby Joe.
"Will ya join us for dinner?
I keep to-go containers on board for good reason. Hell 50 containers for about $6 at Fart & Smile,,,, I'll get back to the containers. Wife offers him a container full of marinated, BBQ chicken skewers I've been rolling across the Magma grill
to take back to his boat. He smiles and accepts,, and rows off to who the-heck-knows-where.
Never saw that old grouch again all summer.
We cooked some fresh dirty rice, some Underwoods corn Home Page
, bust out cold bottles of Mexican Coca Cola, and called the Harbor Patrol asking how many dinners we can send over to the office?
The staff has very limited food
choices available this end of the island. Home cooked food
,,, well,, they jump on it like starving-stranded-on-a-deserted-island sailors.
We bust out a few more to-go containers and run some food over to them,, and sometimes the sheriffs office too if they're in town. Often the LEOs are miles away dealing with a **** storm in one of the campgrounds.
It pays off. When boaters have to change moorings, or vacate the harbour in the morning,, for some reason we don't have to.
Gee,, I wonder why.