".its the zombies on the land you gotta watch out for"
There's an opportunity for you, "Waterworld meets Night of the Living Dead".
In the line of "You could never make this stuff up" the Gerber company, makers of "Legendary Blades" apparently made a Zombie Apochalypse" set as featured on the TV series "The Walking Dead" last year, including a full size real machete. Which has been recalled after some two dozen machete handles failed, causing injuries.
Ergh, machete handles failed?
But if there aren't many pirates in the English Channel
right now, doesn't that mean it is a great time to start up a pirate business there, without competition?