What's your worst guest/crew experience?

[jdaltonpe]

This happened on Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean.
On shore there was a cute Australian gal who was fixing up her dingy with fiberglass patches to some nasty looking holes. It turned out she was the skipper of the only other yacht in the cove. She had sailed with a friend from Australia’s west coast. He was no longer sailing with her. Her name was Andrea and she wasn’t real comfortable sailing alone yet. Would I be interested in crewing for her to Cocos Keeling? She would fly me back to Moondancer afterwards. “Sounds interesting, we’re both alone here so why don’t we eat together some night and talk about it. Stop by Moondancer any time.” About ten that night I was sound asleep, recovering from my passage, when I hear a rapping on the hull. There she was with three bottles of wine, a home cooked meal and a big smile. As I invited Andrea aboard the thought crossed my mind that this is too good to be true. It was. As it turned out, she was already half in the bag and definitely on the weird side. I put on a Van Morrison tape and she went nuts. “I love him” she said. Then she reached over me (rubbing her tits in my face) to crank full volume. Andrea knocked over two of the bottles of wine and one of the plates of food as she did an erotic dance around the cabin. I really started to wonder. She then dumped her cooler bag full of ice and wine into the galley sink and went outside into the cockpit. I watched as she dropped her drawers and pissed into the cooler bag. “Hey, the head is down here, you don’t need to be pissing in the cooler bag.” I said - “Oh, I never use a toilet, it’s against my beliefs.” I sat down shaking my head and wondering what planet she was from. The next thing she wanted was a departure date when we would sail her boat to Cocos Keeling. When I wouldn’t commit right away to sailing off with her she went off the deep end. “What’s the matter, don’t you love me? Are you queer or something? Why don’t you want to go?” I didn’t know what to say. This was way too much, too fast. “Andrea, I just finished making passage from Indonesia and I am really tired. Why don’t we talk about this tomorrow?” I suggested. At that point she went into a rage, calling me all sorts of names and throwing stuff around. I packed up her wine and plates of uneaten food that was scraped up off the floor and put it back into her stinking cooler bag. “Here you go, I think it’s time you went home Andrea.” As she paddled away with one oar the curses continued. “Frickin good for nuthin Yankee wanker.” - “It was nice to meet you too Andrea” I watched for a moment and thought to myself, that one truly has only one oar in the water. The whole thing took about thirty minutes and as I went back to bed I couldn’t help wondering, “Did that really happen?”

[jkindredpdx]

Just had a bummer. Took my girlfriend's 20-something daughter and boyfriend sailing... since I single hand a lot, it was ok that they didn't help... but I was pretty busy sailing. After they left town I realized someone lifted some money from my wallet that I'd left below deck.

not bad experience, but funny... when my daughter was early teen, she asked me to stop tacking because the sail was casting a shadow on her sunbathing deck.

[bobnlesley]

Guests are like fish - even the best of them only stay fresh for about three days.

[Fog Bank]

Not our worst, but certainly my most entertaining experience was when my brother in law came out from the east coast. In the car, on the way to the boat, he was full of hubris as is his norm. Arriving at the boat, I hop aboard to get her unlocked. Exclaiming that he was going to 'show me how a real sailor man does it', the brother in law attempts to come aboard. Missing his step, he lands not on the boat, but in the water. Staring at him as he sputters and mutters, I reply with 'Interesting. Think I'll keep doing it my way.'

[TomLewis]

I'm with Leo, never had a bad experience, many experiences to chalk up, but not any bad ones.

[Badsanta]

I remember this guy gave a sob story of not finding crew. I got the time I'll help. When I got there he asked me to show him my passport to be sure I could travel to another country with him, sure sounds reasonable and I do. Next he tells me he has to hold it untill were done,for safe keeping. I snach it back and tell him to have a safe trip. Leave and called a cab. No way would I do that.

Sent from my SM-G860P using Cruisers Sailing Forum mobile app

[El Pinguino]

Originally Posted by jdaltonpe

This happened on Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean.
On shore there was a cute Australian gal who was fixing up her dingy with fiberglass patches to some nasty looking holes. It turned out she was the skipper of the only other yacht in the cove. She had sailed with a friend from Australia’s west coast. He was no longer sailing with her. Her name was Andrea and she wasn’t real comfortable sailing alone yet. Would I be interested in crewing for her to Cocos Keeling? She would fly me back to Moondancer afterwards. “Sounds interesting, we’re both alone here so why don’t we eat together some night and talk about it. Stop by Moondancer any time.” About ten that night I was sound asleep, recovering from my passage, when I hear a rapping on the hull. There she was with three bottles of wine, a home cooked meal and a big smile. As I invited Andrea aboard the thought crossed my mind that this is too good to be true. It was. As it turned out, she was already half in the bag and definitely on the weird side. I put on a Van Morrison tape and she went nuts. “I love him” she said. Then she reached over me (rubbing her tits in my face) to crank full volume. Andrea knocked over two of the bottles of wine and one of the plates of food as she did an erotic dance around the cabin. I really started to wonder. She then dumped her cooler bag full of ice and wine into the galley sink and went outside into the cockpit. I watched as she dropped her drawers and pissed into the cooler bag. “Hey, the head is down here, you don’t need to be pissing in the cooler bag.” I said - “Oh, I never use a toilet, it’s against my beliefs.” I sat down shaking my head and wondering what planet she was from. The next thing she wanted was a departure date when we would sail her boat to Cocos Keeling. When I wouldn’t commit right away to sailing off with her she went off the deep end. “What’s the matter, don’t you love me? Are you queer or something? Why don’t you want to go?” I didn’t know what to say. This was way too much, too fast. “Andrea, I just finished making passage from Indonesia and I am really tired. Why don’t we talk about this tomorrow?” I suggested. At that point she went into a rage, calling me all sorts of names and throwing stuff around. I packed up her wine and plates of uneaten food that was scraped up off the floor and put it back into her stinking cooler bag. “Here you go, I think it’s time you went home Andrea.” As she paddled away with one oar the curses continued. “Frickin good for nuthin Yankee wanker.” - “It was nice to meet you too Andrea” I watched for a moment and thought to myself, that one truly has only one oar in the water. The whole thing took about thirty minutes and as I went back to bed I couldn’t help wondering, “Did that really happen?”

That wasn't about 1994 was it? There was an 'interesting' skipper looking for crew in Geraldton about then.... even the hardest and horniest of men had gone into hiding as there was one bloke in town missing an earlobe after 'attending a job interview'.

[sailorboy1]

My worst times have been when solo sailing, that guy wouldn't listen/do anything told!

[crazyoldboatguy]

I took some friends for a day sail. One friend brought a friend who claimed he was a seasoned sailor. I gave him the tiller so he could show what he could do. I cautioned him about the full keel and the need to keep the tiller "down helm" longer than you would a fin keel so that she'd come around. "Oh, yeah, he says, 'I know all about that". So, I told him to come about and he pushes the tiller down wind and the boat responded. We weren't going that fast so she crept up into the wind. This guy brings the tiller amidships long before the boat was in the wind. "Hey, push the tiller back downwind", I told him. The seasoned sailor pushed the tiller down to the deck - with a loud crack the tiller broke at the rudder fitting. I had to steer the boat back to the dock with a vice grip pliers. It was silent on the boat all the way back.

[scottmills]

Great question / thread !
In no particular order ....
#1 A young Brit who claimed he sailed better (not experienced at all) while listening to music on headphones.
#2 A family (potential) member who treated me(owner, captain) like a cruise ship employee. Didn't want to help with any daily chores and so on, and on.
#3 ... another family member who thought she could rule the ship in any manner necessary.

[Sailor42]

I'm not sure if this qualifies, but is a sad but true storyabout an owner (myself!). I had just bought my "new" liveaboard, a Catalina 42, in Townsville, and was on delivery passage back to Hobart,Tasmania with a trusty crew of friends. Hanging in a rack in the galley lived four wine glasses, at this stage unused, and one mate, a superb sea cook and class- winning Sydney-Hobart sailor as well, said "Richard, you'll have to be really careful with those glasses -they're real glass". Now every sailor knows that all drinking glasses for regular use in a yacht must be unbreakable, so with my owner's nose high in the air, I said "you're a donkey, even the simplest sailor knows that glasses on board are plastic", and in true sea-faring fashion we commenced a friendly exchange of personal abuse relevant to each other's mental health, parentage, etc etc, which lasted until we came alongside several days later in a small fishing village in Tasmania called Triabunna. On the wharf there is an outdoor fish restaurant where one buys cooked fish and salads etc, and then sits on benches and tables outside, devouring said meal with enjoyment while gazing At the boats on the wharf. We decided we would join the crowd, buy a bottle of wine from the pub next door, and enjoy our first meal ashore for some time. I volunteered to bring the wine glasses from the boat, and in a moment of inspiration decided to prove once and for all that they were plastic. So in a dull roar I invited everyone to "watch this!", and to everyone's amazement hurled one high in the air, where it whirled and twinkled in the evening sunlight, before plummetting to the stone pathway and smashing into a thousand pieces. The stunned silence among the multitude of diners was broken by my friend, who rather rudely said "Now who's a complete donkey! !"

The lesson to be learned - first check carefully fore and aft before engaging mouth!

[Capt Gill]

Originally Posted by sailorboy1

My worst times have been when solo sailing, that guy wouldn't listen/do anything told!

I had a similar experience,but it happens over and over again: constant criticism,e.g., how long have you been sailing, you should know how to do this. How can you allow the deck hatch to come smashing down on your hand, now you really are singlehanded - idiot ! Yet, I put up with it.

[Onthewater]

I had a group of 11 for a daysail on a Morgan 46 out to Santa Cruz Island. A couple of us were scuba diving for fish, scallops and abalone to fry up. As I climbed back onto the swim platform, I noticed a blood trail up onto the deck and pooling where a guest was standing. This guy was had gone snorkeling and was pushed into the barnacle covered rocks from the surge. He was sliced up and down his lower leg and was too hammered to care that he was bleeding everywhere! I got him to stand in the master bath, cleaned him up and washed the area with betadine before bandaging him up with antiseptic and gauze. I had him clean up the blood up for the next hour...

[softgoodsint]

Well, good luck. We couldn't even get our captain to pony up his share of the food kitty once we realized the shortage. He claimed he didn't have to until it ran out because it was his boat and he had to pay for the engine repairs (which he blew out by neglecting to tighten the fan belt). Plus he skipped any of the immigration steps on entry, resulting in me at the airport barred from exiting because I'd entered the country "illegally". I was literally undocumented - try being an illegal immigrant in Panama, icarumba! Had to bribe my way out, oh my, did I say that out loud, I mean I bought several gifts for my new "friends". Now I know my life is worth $20. Man, what an education. BTW, if you ever have to go to immigration in Panama, wear long pants, not what you stepped off the boat wearing - it's a federal law there, no [long] pants, no service. Guess they don't want their federal workers getting distracted by my harry legs (yech).

[softgoodsint]

Best laugh I've had in a while, thanks. But I do believe I can help Andrea, she just needs the same medication my ex wife takes (ever since she went "off planet").