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Old 13-05-2015, 13:54   #31
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

Thanks sailorboy1 and Capt Gil, as a singlehander, I laughed heartily.
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Old 13-05-2015, 18:06   #32
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

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Thanks sailorboy1 and Capt Gil, as a singlehander, I laughed heartily.
Well, S/H is tough that way, not even a dog to kick. I kinda like the idea of a "whipping boy"; ha ! make that a crew position !
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Old 13-05-2015, 18:40   #33
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

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Originally Posted by Badsanta View Post
I remember this guy gave a sob story of not finding crew. I got the time I'll help. When I got there he asked me to show him my passport to be sure I could travel to another country with him, sure sounds reasonable and I do. Next he tells me he has to hold it untill were done,for safe keeping. I snach it back and tell him to have a safe trip. Leave and called a cab. No way would I do that.

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I was scolded by the customs officer at one port, because I did not have possession of my crew's passports. He said that the captain must hold all passports of the crew. He was very serious.
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Old 13-05-2015, 18:44   #34
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

It is a standard practice in the merchant marine for the master to hold the crew's passports until they are signed off the ship.


On another note, back in the day when I was charter fishing and had a bad day, I would say "well I guess I'll go home, drink some beer and kick the dog." It was unbelievable how many people took me seriously. Then I would explain that I didn't even own a dog, I would just kick the neighbors dog instead.
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Old 13-05-2015, 21:14   #35
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

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Originally Posted by MargotJefferson View Post
Hey guys

Writing a blog post about the nightmare sailing can be with the wrong people.

Anyone got some funny stories to tell about messy sailors, knowitalls or head-hoggers, please share
Gonna write a book with all our tall tales?

My worst crew was an ex girlfriend who would not keep herself in check when what she was displaying was obvious to anyone else inappropriate behavior.

Embarrassing.
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Old 14-05-2015, 00:48   #36
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

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This happened on Christmas Island in the Indian Ocean.
On shore there was a cute Australian gal who was fixing up her dingy with fiberglass patches to some nasty looking holes. It turned out she was the skipper of the only other yacht in the cove. She had sailed with a friend from Australia’s west coast. He was no longer sailing with her. Her name was Andrea and she wasn’t real comfortable sailing alone yet. Would I be interested in crewing for her to Cocos Keeling? She would fly me back to Moondancer afterwards. “Sounds interesting, we’re both alone here so why don’t we eat together some night and talk about it. Stop by Moondancer any time.” About ten that night I was sound asleep, recovering from my passage, when I hear a rapping on the hull. There she was with three bottles of wine, a home cooked meal and a big smile. As I invited Andrea aboard the thought crossed my mind that this is too good to be true. It was. As it turned out, she was already half in the bag and definitely on the weird side. I put on a Van Morrison tape and she went nuts. “I love him” she said. Then she reached over me (rubbing her tits in my face) to crank full volume. Andrea knocked over two of the bottles of wine and one of the plates of food as she did an erotic dance around the cabin. I really started to wonder. She then dumped her cooler bag full of ice and wine into the galley sink and went outside into the cockpit. I watched as she dropped her drawers and pissed into the cooler bag. “Hey, the head is down here, you don’t need to be pissing in the cooler bag.” I said - “Oh, I never use a toilet, it’s against my beliefs.” I sat down shaking my head and wondering what planet she was from. The next thing she wanted was a departure date when we would sail her boat to Cocos Keeling. When I wouldn’t commit right away to sailing off with her she went off the deep end. “What’s the matter, don’t you love me? Are you queer or something? Why don’t you want to go?” I didn’t know what to say. This was way too much, too fast. “Andrea, I just finished making passage from Indonesia and I am really tired. Why don’t we talk about this tomorrow?” I suggested. At that point she went into a rage, calling me all sorts of names and throwing stuff around. I packed up her wine and plates of uneaten food that was scraped up off the floor and put it back into her stinking cooler bag. “Here you go, I think it’s time you went home Andrea.” As she paddled away with one oar the curses continued. “Frickin good for nuthin Yankee wanker.” - “It was nice to meet you too Andrea” I watched for a moment and thought to myself, that one truly has only one oar in the water. The whole thing took about thirty minutes and as I went back to bed I couldn’t help wondering, “Did that really happen?”
Well, at least she didn't wait 3 yrs after you got married to show her true colors. Talk about nuts!
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Old 14-05-2015, 01:28   #37
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

My first boat was a sub. The only guests we had were Navy SEALs. Some of them were good guests (picked up after themselves, acted halfway civil) and some of them acted like they were expecting room service from a 4 star hotel. They usually got straightened out pretty quickly. It really was pretty hard to strike up a conversation with those guys, they can't discuss their mission, their destination, their weapons, their gear, nothing. I knew where we were going, since I was a Nav/ESM ET, but I couldn't even admit to them that I knew. We delivered them, picked them up, and that's it. We had to carry a lot more food than usual, most of those guys could really eat!

My second boat was also a sub, but we didn't do any SEAL Specops when I was on it.

I did a 2 week sailing cruise around HI with a retired friend of mine. I did a bunch of electrical work on his 65ft yacht, including an inverter/charger, huge battery bank, all new 110v wiring and a sound system that included all cabins, the salon and helm station on deck. He was about 65, retired Master Chief Master Diver, still in better shape than most 25 yr olds. I showed up at his yacht with a small bag of clothes, and there's some middle aged, overdressed, makeup covered MILF with huge hair and earrings and high heels. I had no idea who she was, or what she was doing there. He shows up, and immediately tells her, "NO! You're NOT going!!"

Apparently, she spotted him somewhere, got a whiff of his testoterone, and had been chasing him around for the last few weeks like a horny teenager. She tossed her luggage on the boat and jumped aboard. He tossed her luggage back on the dock, and this went on for a good 20 minutes or so, with her nearly falling over with her high heels jumping on and off the boat to get her luggage back. Finally, he gives up, we toss the lines and take off. After we get underway, he explains to me he ran into her somewhere in Waikiki and she wouldn't take no for an answer. I told him she really wasn't that bad looking, actually kind of well preserved for mid 40s. He replied he was married. Oh, I understand. Then he says, "Well, I have 2 girl friends, too. But my wife is Thai, and my 2 GFs are Filippina, I just don't like white women, and this one is just too full of herself." She introduced herself as the most successful real estate tycoon (yes, she called herself a tycoon!) in Canada.

For the first couple of days, she constantly tried rubbing up against him, kissing him, grabbing at him - she was a walking, talking sexual harassment seminar!! After about 3 days he finally told her if she touched him again, he'd toss her overboard and keep on going. After that, she settled down. He and I did all of the fish catching, cleaning, cooking, BBQing, sailing, etc. All she did was eat, sleep and smoke like a chimney.

I've seen plenty of women throw themselves at someone they're in lust with, but I've never seen a guy hold out so long and never cave in! We ended up having a great trip, visited all of the small islands and the winds always seemed to blow the way we wanted. Oddly, I didn't think there was anything unusual about sailing with perfect weather, perfect winds, and not using the engine except when entering/leaving the marina. That was my first trip on a sailboat, and I didn't know any better.
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Old 14-05-2015, 03:17   #38
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

Great stories!
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Old 14-05-2015, 14:45   #39
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

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Originally Posted by Wendi View Post
I was scolded by the customs officer at one port, because I did not have possession of my crew's passports. He said that the captain must hold all passports of the crew. He was very serious.
I concur with Wendi's comments, our captain collected our passports as well, but at least explained the nature of it being a legal requirement (at least in Central America) to get through the canal. The captain in question here (apparently) did a poor job of explaining the circumstance and reason for this requirement.
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Old 14-05-2015, 15:11   #40
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

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I concur with Wendi's comments, our captain collected our passports as well, but at least explained the nature of it being a legal requirement (at least in Central America) to get through the canal. The captain in question here (apparently) did a poor job of explaining the circumstance and reason for this requirement.
As skipper you need the crew's passports when you check in and when you check out... not at any other time.

Crew have a visa ( if required ) so they can bugger orf anytime when you are in port with no comeback on the skipper. At sea crew should keep their own passports so that if push comes to shove they have them in their grab bag.

Different on a big ship where crew are 'on articles'. If they choose to jump ship it can make life difficult and expensive ... esp if they are chinese and the ship is in the US. Was a time when crew didn't even need passports... just a seaman's identity card.
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Old 14-05-2015, 17:07   #41
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

I understand about checking in and out. But it was just the two of us and hardly an effort to produce it.

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Old 14-05-2015, 22:04   #42
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

Captain/boat owner as the carrier, when entering a new country IS leagally and financially responsible to provide and show that your papers are in order.

Not unreasonable that he ask you to provide them upfront.

Bottom line...if you don't trust the captain to Safekeep your travel documents for immigration purposes, why the hell would you trust him with your life?
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Old 14-05-2015, 22:36   #43
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

I didn't and don't. I understand and agree with your statement.

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Old 15-05-2015, 10:07   #44
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

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Originally Posted by El Pinguino View Post
As skipper you need the crew's passports when you check in and when you check out... not at any other time.

Crew have a visa ( if required ) so they can bugger orf anytime when you are in port with no comeback on the skipper. At sea crew should keep their own passports so that if push comes to shove they have them in their grab bag.

Different on a big ship where crew are 'on articles'. If they choose to jump ship it can make life difficult and expensive ... esp if they are chinese and the ship is in the US. Was a time when crew didn't even need passports... just a seaman's identity card.
The island I was on at the time, said I have to keep them in my possession the entire time.I don't remember what island, but does this passport law vary by country?
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Old 15-05-2015, 19:10   #45
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Re: What's your worst guest/crew experience?

Wendi you have to share your Atlantic crew experience!
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