What if chasing the dream means you have to give up a relationship?

[frankdeegan]

This is a problem that I faced, she had a very basic interest in boats but I was keen to get her sailing so, off we went for a 2 week trip around Ireland. Put it this was..she cried when we had to leave the boat and come home. she is more than keen now to get out of the rat race. She asked me why should we kill ourselves working here when we have no kids or ties to keep us here, rent out the house an lets see where the boat takes us. That's the plan and come next April..WERE OFF..touch wood.
Frank

[jzk]

Now is the time to find out if your girlfriend is compatible with your dreams. Take her to the islands and show her what cruising is all about. If she takes to it, great, if not, then move on. You will resent eachother later if you don't.

Furthermore, life isn't about always getting what you want. I have been supporting my wife for 6 years so that she doesn't have to work. I would much rather not go to work and be a slave to this world. The only thing that keeps me going is the dream. I don't exactly know how she will react ultimately, but she has known from the beggining that this is the deal.

The world is a 20,000 page book, and most people only ever see 10 pages. I want to see all of the pages and show my family all of the pages. So the deal is that we are going in a few years. My wife loves the sun, beaches, hanging out on the boat, reading, etc. I can't think that cruising for her will be any worse than working was for me.

Moreover, I will get the chance to actually raise my kids rather than have them be raised by their friends and whatever teacher happens to be assigned to them. I will teach them every day. We will learn many languages and study many cultures. What could be better than that? During the cruise, you have to make sure that you always be sure to accomidate your partner. Don't always be pushing to get to the next place. Avoid too much bad weather, etc.

[Little Otter]

Hey sundowner reading this post has made me laugh =) i'm 16 and my mom and sister have tried to play matchmaker with me to a bunch of diferent girls ( a bunch of bull sh*t and stupidity that ALWAYS turns into a mess, don't try it ) anyhow I finally told them that anyone that I date is going to have to share me with the sea and I would take the sea over any girl that didn't agree with my dreams ( that was last year and they haven't tried it since ) so my advice is that if you don't like her attitude explain you dream to her and if she still don't like it DUMP HER there are people out there that would kill to live on a boat so find one of them and live your dream!

[Pelagic]

This might seem like a contradiction (it’s not)… to what I said before……

I have spent my whole life trying to live the sailing dream and …… both professionally and in terms of nautical experiences, I surpassed my wildest dreams.
Except:

Despite sincere attempts I was never able to find a woman whom I could love and admire, who was willing to accept the realities of loving a simple sailor determined to follow his dream.

In fairness, it was not an easy path, yet also one I never lied about. I came close but it was never a shared dream.

So I closed myself off from looking for that right person and stayed loyal to one woman using my resources to keep that “token relationship” comfortably shore based.

I had my life of marvellous adventures and financial rewards but when experiencing those penultimate moments of the simple cruising pleasures, there was no special person there to share it with.

So after many years in this limbo I made some dramatic changes in my career and took the personal time to find a sailing partner who loves the life and me. Life is Good!

Lesson learned?..... Never be loyal to a mistake!

[exfishnz]

At this point in my life I'm not too worried about taking a shelia on the boat, besides I'm going places that aren't exactly "ladylike"[1]. And as all the blokes here know, once a shelia hits about 25 then the biological clock thingy tick's in, at that point, the shelia's start chasing you

[1] although there's some female sailor's that would go to places I want to go, the percentage is incredibly small.

[john connell]

I will probably uspet someone here ( womankind more likely ) but trust me that is not what I am about in life by any means.In fact I consider myself slanted more to the needs/rights of the feminine side even though I am a typical aussie bloke.

Its just that this post just reminded me of my dear old dad who passed away a long time ago..

He was a bit of a joker and one day when I turned 18 he took me aside and said" Son, let me give you some well proven advice" .
You will meet many women in your life and you will enjoy many good and some not so good relationships.Take your time and choose your life time mate well he said.But remember he said with a twinkle in his eye" you can throw them around the room for an hour or so but you got to talk to then for the next bloody 23 hours of the day-every day!!
Goes for both sexes I add.

In close quarters in a boat out there in the wild blue yonder I think he was possibly on to something .?
You would have to be in a very good relationship I would think to be able to endure a long passage if you could not communicate well.

I am going to practice his advice for a while before I finish my boat.-both sides of the argument !!

[fbchristo]

Tell her you'll write when you get the chance and cast off the lines. If you compermise for her or her for you the relationship is doomed from the start. I say this being married for 29 years but for 90% of the stuff we are on the same page.

[hellosailor]

"you can throw them around the room for an hour or so but you got to talk to then for the next bloody 23 hours "
Hmmm, I heard that one a little differently. More like IF you throw someone around, you'd better learn to sleep with one eye open. Karma can be a real bitch when it comes back at ya.

[exfishnz]

Originally Posted by hellosailor

"you can throw them around the room for an hour or so but you got to talk to then for the next bloody 23 hours "
Hmmm, I heard that one a little differently. More like IF you throw someone around, you'd better learn to sleep with one eye open. Karma can be a real bitch when it comes back at ya.

I don't think he meant "abuse". He's an older bloke from OZ, his words probably mean something else.

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by exfishnz

I don't think he meant "abuse". He's an older bloke from OZ, his words probably mean something else.

I also read it as "something else". Ozzie romance, eh!

[exfishnz]

Originally Posted by David_Old_Jersey

I also read it as "something else". Ozzie romance, eh!

It could mean "dancing". The reference was to an older bloke who probably grew up in the 1930-40's.

Edit: or it could mean sex? (as I think Davey is referring to? )

[john connell]

Confuscious says I shoulda known better you guys across the ditch would need clarification.
exfishnz is a closer cousin to you other guys and we have a mutual society where we actually understand our slang thang most of the time.

Hello sailor,
I was also trying to be a gentleman and not come straight out with it.
The Aussie dictionary wherever you can find one should have an explanation of "Horizontal Folk Dancing ".

Regards
John.

[Talbot]

I work in a multinational organisation, and have a foot in UK as well as AUS. I have a couple of US work colleagues, and frequently come across situations best described as two nations separated by a common language.

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by john connell

I was also trying to be a gentleman and not come straight out with it.
The Aussie dictionary wherever you can find one should have an explanation of "Horizontal Folk Dancing ".

Regards
John.

Geeez!...... I thought you guys were talking about sheep!

Horizontal Flock Dancing

[claudius2000]

IMHO if your are not married to a woman, and you are not planning to make a commitment to her, the questions is answered by the behavior.

She is temporary... is the dream temporary?