What if chasing the dream means you have to give up a relationship?

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by neelie

May I quote Pelagic's Freudian slip:

....":If she doesn’t want to wait until you seriously try the sailing business, Dump Her! ... then give yourself a hand…. you have just escaped the Horse Latitudes!"


Dump her as per the advice of the hard nosed mariners on this forum and the "giving yourself a hand" clause will be a fact of life!.

Thought that would cheer you up!

In the Land of the Blind, the One-Eyed Man is King!

Missed that little gem before Neelie…LOL…. but don’t worry I never sail singlehanded and finding a wench who can tail a winch is easier than you think.

Also to paraphrase your own Freudian slip.. In the Land of the sexually frustrated, the One-Eyed Man is King!

Why is it that so many woman will never accept that?

[Lanzarote]

I'm going to use this thread ..... Say at first sorry for my English which is good speaking but not so written

I've been separated from my second relationship (after 9 years on land living). My both relationship in my past were with no sailors women... as many sailors...

Now, after 5 months single.... still confuse about if I would like another one ... but if I would find my perfect half would be a new life for both...

I think that I have a perfect life to some who loves a sailing living.... living on a 38 foot sailing boat and chartering it for day-charter since 1993 so I have a high reputation in Lanzarote

I think I am not a bad looking man been tall and thin (1,90m) and in the pick (it has been taking 3 days ago) you can see the rest... ... I am very affectionate and sensible...without children nor responsibilities.... so I ask for the same...

If someone can be

curious

my e-mail for messenger is sailingwebcam@hotmail.com



Alex

[GordMay]

At a family gathering, I began teasing Maggie (my bride) about how she always get her way.
"Honey," she said, "when I get my way, that’s a compromise."
"What is it when I get my way?" I queried.
She answered, "Oh, that would be a miracle!"

[Talbot]

It is easier these days when young to find the ladies with a sense of adventure, but when you get to be of more mature years, where do you find these ladies who have a wish for the far horizons

[wcsailor]

OK, I've got to jump in here. Yes, we female types do have our nesting years. Yes, Talbot may be right about younger women these days being more adventuresome. But those young ones will get the nesting need too, whether it's having babies, having a career, or getting the McMansion on the hill. I'm 47 and really didn't start to get adventursome till my late 30s. I think the mistake a lot of guys make is that they look for the younger babes and miss out on what we mid-life women (40s to 60s) have to offer! The babies are grown, the career has either peaked or has reached a similar point as so many men who get enough of the rat race, and we're interested in adventure. Those women who only want the house and grandkids wouldn't go cruising at any age!

We have a single woman friend who we met cruising 8 years ago. She was long-term crewing on her friends' boat but has her own sail boat in the Pacific North West. She's a very active retired school teacher--skis, kayaks etc. I have a hard time keeping up with her and she'll be 71 in January!

As to the original question of this very interesting conversation--life is too short. Find the person who wants the same things you want. Life is hard enough...our life partners should serve to share the load, not add to it. JMHO

[Lanzarote]

Originally Posted by wcsailor

OK, I've got to jump in here. Yes, we female types do have our nesting years. Yes, Talbot may be right about younger women these days being more adventuresome. But those young ones will get the nesting need too, whether it's having babies, having a career, or getting the McMansion on the hill. I'm 47 and really didn't start to get adventursome till my late 30s. I think the mistake a lot of guys make is that they look for the younger babes and miss out on what we mid-life women (40s to 60s) have to offer! The babies are grown, the career has either peaked or has reached a similar point as so many men who get enough of the rat race, and we're interested in adventure. Those women who only want the house and grandkids wouldn't go cruising at any age!

We have a single woman friend who we met cruising 8 years ago. She was long-term crewing on her friends' boat but has her own sail boat in the Pacific North West. She's a very active retired school teacher--skis, kayaks etc. I have a hard time keeping up with her and she'll be 71 in January!

As to the original question of this very interesting conversation--life is too short. Find the person who wants the same things you want. Life is hard enough...our life partners should serve to share the load, not add to it. JMHO

That's why in my mind is a lady on the 40's
Alex

[tillerman]

Listen up guys. The lady is spot on.

If you want to play father-figure or sugar daddy, then go for the young babes. Just realize that you'll have to deal with the circumstances. Forget Hollywood, Bollywood or BS-wood.

There are a lot of princess-mentality-types out there that want to be wined and dined. And they'll gladly berth your boat and bed until they tire of both to find a younger Adonis.

Find a mature lady that doesn't expect or want this. Find a mature lady that will wine and dine you (if that's what you're into) as much as you wine and dine her. One that loves the open air, water and sun as much as you do. Successful, confident and independent.

Rare indeed, but they're out there!

Best - J.

[Guzzi]

Sheesh!
All of you guys who are having a hard time finding a woman who will share your dream of cruising...I really feel sorry for you...
Heck, it's hard enough to find a gal who is compatible let alone finding one who is compatible with a boating lifestyle...and I don't even have a boat...YET!

I don't think anyone I meet will like the idea of moving away from any family they have here when I move within the next five years.
I can understand that, guess I'll just lie low and take things as they come. Maybe things will be a bit different after I move!

[Lanzarote]

Originally Posted by Guzzi

Sheesh!
All of you guys who are having a hard time finding a woman who will share your dream of cruising...I really feel sorry for you...
Heck, it's hard enough to find a gal who is compatible let alone finding one who is compatible with a boating lifestyle...and I don't even have a boat...YET!

I don't think anyone I meet will like the idea of moving away from any family they have here when I move within the next five years.
I can understand that, guess I'll just lie low and take things as they come. Maybe things will be a bit different after I move!

Sometimes to be happy you have to take risks:


"Because in our hands is the being and not to be.
Because our doubts cant our reason.
And, the panic, is the one that generate the fear to change the being.
Because he is the father of the doubt and the passion."
(That's part of one of my poems)


Alex,

[Pelagic]

Originally Posted by tillerman

Listen up guys. The lady is spot on.

If you want to play father-figure or sugar daddy, then go for the young babes. Just realize that you'll have to deal with the circumstances. Forget Hollywood, Bollywood or BS-wood.

There are a lot of princess-mentality-types out there that want to be wined and dined. And they'll gladly berth your boat and bed until they tire of both to find a younger Adonis.

Find a mature lady that doesn't expect or want this. Find a mature lady that will wine and dine you (if that's what you're into) as much as you wine and dine her. One that loves the open air, water and sun as much as you do. Successful, confident and independent.

Rare indeed, but they're out there!

Best - J.

What I have learned from reading this thread is that there are a lot of stereotypical expectations that a male sailor has of his mate and visa-versa.

For those who are still searching for a sailing mate; I suggest you need to think outside the box (no pun intended) and find what is right for you.

If you analyze the lifestyle of a cruiser it is much closer to 3rd world expectations in walking to markets, catching your own dinner, living in confined quarters than the conveniences of the drive to the Wal-Mart society in developed and wealthy nations.

If you think about the actual cruise destinations, their primitiveness is a big part of the attraction

Read a few of the “Culture Shock” books about a traditional Asian woman’s expectations and you will recognize that they focus more on the basic lifestyle needs along with security, respect, honesty and love, …. All without the trappings of Wal-Mart.

Each to their own, but I would suggest that you look for someone who more naturally fits a cruiser’s lifestyle, without the mindset that they are sacrificing their goals.

Love them dearly and you will be happier!

[NW Craig]

Originally Posted by GordMay

At a family gathering, I began teasing Maggie (my bride) about how she always get her way.
"Honey," she said, "when I get my way, that’s a compromise."
"What is it when I get my way?" I queried.
She answered, "Oh, that would be a miracle!"

Now that's a quote I know I'll use!

Thanks

c

[Curmudgeon]

I wonder how many women go off cruising and leave their men ashore and heartbroken.

[scallywag]

Not enough women go off cruing and leave their husbands behind.
John

[Guzzi]

Not enough women go off cruising.

There-I fixed it for ya!

[goshea]

I have one who is game for cruising. So, I thought enough women go. Then I saw the posting by the water closet sailor (jk!) and realized she's out there as is her friend described in the post, which leads me to the conclusion that plenty of women are out there.