What if chasing the dream means you have to give up a relationship?

[Weyalan]

I have been lucky enough to share various portions of my life with various girls. I do not regret a single one of those relationships. All my previous significant others were lovely ladies. The current one is (I hope whe won't mind me saying this) not the prettiest (but she is beautiful to me), nor the smartest, nor the richest. But she shares the same dream as me. I am confident that we will be together until we die.

[exfishnz]

Originally Posted by Weyalan

The current one is (I hope whe won't mind me saying this) not the prettiest (but she is beautiful to me), nor the smartest, nor the richest. ...... I am confident that we will be together until we die.

What if she reads this post?

[Little Otter]

exfishnz if she reads this post he will probably be the first one to die

[henryk]

Maybe post your address in case she reads it ,so we'll know where to send the flowers

[David_Old_Jersey]

Originally Posted by Weyalan

The current one is (I hope whe won't mind me saying this) not the prettiest (but she is beautiful to me), nor the smartest, nor the richest. But she shares the same dream as me. I am confident that we will be together until we die.

Cool Stuff

(though would not have been brave enuf to write it ).

[roblanford]

I was divorced twice before I started sailing 23 years ago.
No divorces since!

[sneuman]

I think maybe you have to figure out if she takes to the water/sailing because of you or because she genuinely loves it.

The former is a form of tolerance, even if expertly disguised. My guess is there's a good chance you'll find out (the hard way) which it is some day, probably in a stressful situation at sea.

My current beau professes to be interested in the whole sailing thing and has shown initiative in trying to learn "the ropes." I hope that's a good sign, but the jury is still out.

I have heard way too many stories of how a boat can ruin a marriage -- "water soluble" marriages, they call them around here. If there's a conflict, you're going to have to decide which is more important. If you're just getting into sailing, I'd suggest getting her "on board" before getting a boat. If that can't be done, you'll at least be able to back out.

[Talbot]

One of the key statements may have been that the GF gets claustrophobia. I have seen this have a big impact on other plans, but that time it was solved by a move from a mono to a catamaran. The airy and spacious areas normal to a catamaran made a big diference by comparison to the dark cave of the monhull.

Similar problems have also been caused from heeling, and solved in the same manner!

[Chantyabc]

Originally Posted by Weyalan

I have been lucky enough to share various portions of my life with various girls. I do not regret a single one of those relationships. All my previous significant others were lovely ladies. The current one is (I hope whe won't mind me saying this) not the prettiest (but she is beautiful to me), nor the smartest, nor the richest. But she shares the same dream as me. I am confident that we will be together until we die.

Hi There

It is great to be honest and speak what you feel. My personal thoughts are that if you truely are inlove with someone they are the most beautiful person in the world to you...Well thats just the way I feel. To each its own.

Thanks
Chanty

[goshea]

You're the only one who can answer that. You have to decide every day if this job/relationship/coffee-option is right for you and go forward on that path. Whether it's big or small, you choose to live with the conditions in your life. I have four kids and I've found happiness with my second wife. She's my life partner and I know we are very well matched in many ways. Fortunately, she has the same dream I do. She's got us on a schedule and a plan in is action. We are currently in what she's calling purge mode. We are selling everything off, two houses to go, two cars to go, and one travel trailer. At some point next summer we'll be living in the travel trailer as we will have pared down to the minimum so we can move aboard our not yet purchased cruiser. We didn't just fall into this place together. We arrived here after many years of hard work on relationships we both had, jobs we both did, and coffee-drinks we drank.

[SilentOption]

Life is short why waste another minute with a mate who doesn't share your dream.
The wench will drag you down. You'll be stuck in a life in suburbia landlocked.
She'll be happy, you'll be miserable.
Every time you drive by a marina or go the beach you'll wonder what it would have been like to be on the boat fulfilling your dream.
Even if she decides to humor you and go along for a short time you can count on trouble. The second she gets pregnant she'll demand you sell the boat and return to a "normal" lifestyle.
Don't wait! Don't think it over. Dump her now and get on with life. There are many many wonderful women out there who love the lifestyle you are contemplating. Go find one!

[imagine2frolic]

I see Sundowner is looking for a cat. Looks like he won't be living with what ifs.......

[sundowner]

Originally Posted by imagine2frolic

I see Sundowner is looking for a cat. Looks like he won't be living with what ifs.......

Yes, and can move on one fairly quickly if I can find a really good deal on a quality boat or someone who might want to do a joint business venture in the Caribbean...

[shinkoiwanojay]

Well, I don’t know anything about sailing but, the issues that keep coming back into my life are love and freedom…there’s one more but, lets just leave that out for now.

I see freedom as being a big issue with most people who want to cruise. Anytime I have ever wanted to do anything for freedom in my life, I have always felt like a bandit, someone who was doing something wrong. If my woman went with me, we would be nothing more than Bonnie and Clyde doing the same sh*t. To hell with’m all…

Y’all are all nothing but a bunch of pirates; but, not the idiot pirates of today roaming around stealing boats trying to make a profit on someone else’s dream but, pirates stealing back what was rightfully yours to begin with…freedom.

And all around you, you have the people you love saying you're crazy… “You can’t do that” “How are you going to live?”… “You’ll fail.”… “You’ll be back”.

But, what they don’t get is that you WILL be back; You WILL still love them but, it will be on YOUR terms and not someone else’s. And who’s terms can it be on if it is not YOURS?…Its your love, man…

Sorry…I kind of went of topic and wrote about myself.

I hope it applies

[imagine2frolic]

Jay,

A lot that you type is true. Some are lucky enough to find a mate to accept the lifestyle, and truly enjoy it too. You have to love yourself before you can love others is my belief. Nurturing your dreams is giving yourself approval, and love. Finding someone who fits you like a glove only enhances the freedom, and love you have obtained.

Sundowner,

Was it you that wrote about the $120K cat?......BEST WISHES to you both in getting what you seek......i2f