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Old 07-02-2015, 22:33   #46
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

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Originally Posted by BandB View Post
No one has the right to insist on sharing. One says "no" and that means no. No one should feel the need to pretend or pace or do anything else they don't want to do. This whole concept that if you don't choose to drink with us, you're being rude or being a killjoy or anything else is just wrong. If you don't want to drink, don't. And if you have a drinking problem as the OP has indicated they do have, then all the more reason not to do it just because others offer.


It seems like you're assuming a little bit here. She didn't ask for the address of the next 12 step meeting.
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Old 07-02-2015, 23:54   #47
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

I second the above. I don't see the OP as having a drinking problem. She just doesn't want to seem rude. As far as not driving and or not sailing your boat after a night in which you have had some drinks, it takes one hour to metabolize the amount of alcohol in one drink. The notion that you are impaired 8 to 10 after having some drinks is just wrong. Now kill off a fifth of scotch and you better be staying put for the next morning at least. But a few drinks won't be an issue.

I'm in the camp of just telling them no, I've had enough but thank you for the offer. No need to lie. Be honest. And good luck this year with your cruising.

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Old 08-02-2015, 00:08   #48
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

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I don't see the OP as having a drinking problem. She just doesn't want to seem rude.
Well, the OP said "problem is, I can't seem to say No to a drink" and "I'm becoming a lush at the dock!" and they came here for help. Sorry, but to me that's a drinking problem. I didn't label it as an alcoholic or anything else, just as a drinking problem. This is not meant to demean the OP in any way but simply to respond to their post and consider their own characterization of the situation. Many people have drinking problems as a result of being unable to not give into peer pressure or due to their desire to fit into certain social environments.
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Old 08-02-2015, 04:14   #49
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

Greetings and welcome aboard the CF, cajunrph.
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Old 08-02-2015, 06:22   #50
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

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Originally Posted by Starside View Post
So I love all the folks at the docks. It's wonderful cuz I am socially awkward in most settings, except on the boat. And since I am recently single, having folks around is really important to me now - keeps me upbeat & hopeful, instead of sad & lamenting my ex (you know how that goes, right?)

Well, here's the deal. Since my boat is an antique, I get a lot of foot traffic everywhere I go, & I've become quite the social butterfly. Problem is, I can't seem to say No to a drink, & for some reason, my boat attracts drinkers (or so it seems).

Many board my boat with a bottle of wine & glasses to share. Normally this would be fine if you only get a few visits, but I attend the boat shows & get more like 20 visits an evening. I'm sure you get where this is going. I'm becoming a lush at the dock! Egads.

So before this boating season, I'm a bit worried about this Spring & facing all that free wine again. So, I'm curious how others deal with boaters who come aboard...& stay to hang out to drink & to smell the cedar. LOL

Seriously, I don't want to offend those who visit & in the moment, the temptation is real, but I gotta get cruising, not drinking at the dock! :-)

Anyone else have this problem?


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Buying my boat and keeping it in a social marina increased my drinking to a point where I had a serious medical issue and was forced to quit drinking entirely.

It is possible to turn down offers of alcohol and it is possible to be in the presence of other people drinking alcohol without doing it yourself.

It's not easy but it can be done. It's a matter of willpower. You can do it.
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Old 08-02-2015, 07:32   #51
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

I can see why people seem to think I'm a boozer but if you read the original post, I think you'd get that I was trying to be funny. Read it through...& when you get to the last paragraph that starts, 'Seriously...' you'll get the gist.


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Old 08-02-2015, 07:43   #52
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

This is a hot topic & folks seem to relate to this situation.

Thanks for all the wonderful comments & I am sufficiently prepared now to move people along if they overstay their stay.

I personally like the funnier comments. Thanks for those who saw the humor & kept it light. There are a few good posts here. This is An entertaining thread. :-)


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Old 08-02-2015, 11:39   #53
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

Well in that case...


LOL
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Old 08-02-2015, 12:48   #54
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

In the 1990's we had a joke going around NYC:


Guy walks into the bar at Windows on the World. Sees another guy, big tall handsome fellow in a good suit, sobbing and crying into his whiskey. Sits down next to him and asks what could possibly be so wrong?


And the big cry, still sobbing, goes into a tale of marital troubles, work troubles, lay-offs, everything turned to crap and when he came here to kill himself, he couldn't even do that right. Look, he says, and runs up to a smashed-out window.


He teeters out, balanced just on his toes, and the updraft blows him right back in!


You see? He says. The wind is so strong, I can't even jump out of the window.


"Wow" the new guy says "I have to try that" and goes straight out and down of course.


The bartender turns to the big fellow and says "Superman, you're a mean drunk!"


So in your situation and given the lack of height on most boats...just tell your guests that you'd really LOVE to have that drink, but your parole officer keeps telling you that's the way you get in trouble, and if it happens once more, you're going to really have a problem, so they shouldn't be offended but you're going to pass on this one.


Get a reputation as a mean drunk, the booze will evaporate.


(Hey, what's the story on that guy on the wood boat? And a parole officer?)
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Old 08-02-2015, 13:17   #55
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Wink Re: Visitors & too much booze!

It strikes me that you need to get off the dock more - then they won't be able to pester you!! Go sailing!!!
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Old 08-02-2015, 13:29   #56
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

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Originally Posted by BandB View Post
Well, the OP said "problem is, I can't seem to say No to a drink" and "I'm becoming a lush at the dock!" and they came here for help. Sorry, but to me that's a drinking problem. I didn't label it as an alcoholic or anything else, just as a drinking problem.

People should be able to express themselves here without being analyzed using the strictest of pop-psychology evaluations.

I didn't take it as a serious problem at all -- more of a preference. Particularly since people with a real problem tend to deny it. I think the OP came here in a lighthearted way and deserves a lighthearted and helpful response. That's what she got, for the most part.
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Old 08-02-2015, 14:11   #57
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

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Originally Posted by hellosailor View Post
In the 1990's we had a joke going around NYC:


Guy walks into the bar at Windows on the World. Sees another guy, big tall handsome fellow in a good suit, sobbing and crying into his whiskey. Sits down next to him and asks what could possibly be so wrong?


And the big cry, still sobbing, goes into a tale of marital troubles, work troubles, lay-offs, everything turned to crap and when he came here to kill himself, he couldn't even do that right. Look, he says, and runs up to a smashed-out window.


He teeters out, balanced just on his toes, and the updraft blows him right back in!


You see? He says. The wind is so strong, I can't even jump out of the window.


"Wow" the new guy says "I have to try that" and goes straight out and down of course.


The bartender turns to the big fellow and says "Superman, you're a mean drunk!".........?)

Hilarious & worth repeating! LOL


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Old 08-02-2015, 15:56   #58
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Starside View Post
So I love all the folks at the docks. It's wonderful cuz I am socially awkward in most settings, except on the boat. And since I am recently single, having folks around is really important to me now - keeps me upbeat & hopeful, instead of sad & lamenting my ex (you know how that goes, right?)

Well, here's the deal. Since my boat is an antique, I get a lot of foot traffic everywhere I go, & I've become quite the social butterfly. Problem is, I can't seem to say No to a drink, & for some reason, my boat attracts drinkers (or so it seems).

Many board my boat with a bottle of wine & glasses to share. Normally this would be fine if you only get a few visits, but I attend the boat shows & get more like 20 visits an evening. I'm sure you get where this is going. I'm becoming a lush at the dock! Egads.

So before this boating season, I'm a bit worried about this Spring & facing all that free wine again. So, I'm curious how others deal with boaters who come aboard...& stay to hang out to drink & to smell the cedar. LOL

Seriously, I don't want to offend those who visit & in the moment, the temptation is real, but I gotta get cruising, not drinking at the dock! :-)

Anyone else have this problem?


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At least you recognize it could be a problem. Hell, it's your boat, politely tell them you have plans and can't socialize at the moment.
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Old 09-02-2015, 06:40   #59
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

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Originally Posted by Neeltje View Post
It got to the point where I was actually contemplating putting a "Tour of the Boat: $35" sign on the gunnel, but like I said, I left town instead.
You could try posting a sign that says "Free Boat Tours daily 7-9:00 am." Then you only have to worry about someone actually showing up at 7am.

If not then ++1 on the pacing <1 drink/ hr, alternating drinks with large glass of water and making sure you have plenty of snacks.
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Old 15-02-2015, 21:06   #60
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Re: Visitors & too much booze!

I prefer to go with the straight no. Or, no thank you is better, the more complicated the answer the harder it is to sell. If someone has the cajones to ask why not , simply answer I don't want any/I've had enough, tonight. Personally I would be concerned about drinking anything from a stranger that invited themselves onto my boat.
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