Visitors & too much booze!

[Steve Bean]

You might plead stomach trouble. "Thanks, but my stomach has reached its limit for today. My doctor says....."

[GILow]

I am amazed by how much booze I see consumed on boats. Even in the pen, a boat is no place to be intoxicated.

I suggest a good quality coffee machine on board is an alternative to consider. Offering a real coffee or a well made tea is often just as socially lubricating, without some of the obvious risks of alcohol.

Of course, this advice is coming from a computer programmer, and just about every programmer I have ever met has a serious caffeine addiction to manage.

Matt

[JPA Cate]

A little story, make of it what you will.....

A long time ago, there was an attractive woman of a certain age, who found herself suddenly single. She had to learn to deal with many unfamiliar social situations. Her question was how to stay around people but not drink too much. She learned that especially if the bartender is a woman, they'll sell you an all tonic G&T for pennies!

So, the concept carries over. Suppose you've already had whatever you determine your limit to be, then switch to soda water or tonic if you prefer that, and a slice of lime or lemon, and keep on socializing. If they drink 'too much' you'll notice, but you'll be fine.

Ann

PS True drunkenness is fairly scary to many women, so it's good for guys to avoid it if they have hopes of finding a sailing woman.

[Celestialsailor]

Just tell them you're having problems with your colostomy bag sealing and you'll have to pass. Use that a couple of times and most will stay away.

[Starside]

Ann, excellent story & I relate!

Joan


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[Starside]

I think most boaters are on vacation, so it makes sense that drinking is part of that culture. The few who don't drink are the serious cruisers who are there every weekend. It's the recreational boaters who I think are more apt to be in vacay-mode & that's to be expected. I'll add that the serious cruisers when they visit offer me a bottled water & these are the folks I want to cultivate.

Is it general practice when you visit another boat to bring something, like water or booze?


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[Bikini Blues]

Thank you for addressing a problem I experience also. We attend boat shows and enjoy lots of visitors on our 1967 Chris Craft Cavalier 33'. I like to remind myself it's just as dangerous to drink in the marina as it is while cruising. What I have done is decide to skip the rum and wine altogether and just sip beer. Someone has to keep their act together. People have been killed while drunk in the marina ... one missed step and a knock to the head and land in the water is all it takes. I like to keep plenty of enjoyable fresh food as snacks available to everyone ... it does slow the drinking down. Remember that you can ask someone to please cut themselves off and help them to shore.

[krafthaus]

Originally Posted by Bikini Blues

I like to remind myself it's just as dangerous to drink in the marina as it is while cruising.
People have been killed while drunk in the marina ... one missed step and a knock to the head and land in the water is all it takes.

We were chatting with a guy at Oyster Pond, St. Martin and he had a big raspberry on the top of his head. They had just delivered a cat from France and during the arrival celebrating & plenty of drinks, he forgot it was a 3 foot step from the boat down to the dock, tripped, whacked his head and fell in the water stunned! The skipper fished him out otherwise it wouldn't have been a good outcome.

We enjoy social time with friends and after maybe a shot or two or rum I switch to diet coke & lime juice sans the rum. Nobody cares and we continue on. Should work the same on a boat.

[Cheechako]

You just need to learn to say..."thanks, but Ive had more than enough.. maybe some other time"
Also, beware of people stepping onto your boat with wine glasses etc, especially if they are already drinking... one fall and an injury and it could cost you/your insurance...
You could have a nice sign made to put on the lifelines "no drinking on board". that will discourage some and you can always invite the few you want.

[Cadence]

Originally Posted by Starside

So I love all the folks at the docks. It's wonderful cuz I am socially awkward in most settings, except on the boat. And since I am recently single, having folks around is really important to me now - keeps me upbeat & hopeful, instead of sad & lamenting my ex (you know how that goes, right?)

Well, here's the deal. Since my boat is an antique, I get a lot of foot traffic everywhere I go, & I've become quite the social butterfly. Problem is, I can't seem to say No to a drink, & for some reason, my boat attracts drinkers (or so it seems).

Many board my boat with a bottle of wine & glasses to share. Normally this would be fine if you only get a few visits, but I attend the boat shows & get more like 20 visits an evening. I'm sure you get where this is going. I'm becoming a lush at the dock! Egads.

So before this boating season, I'm a bit worried about this Spring & facing all that free wine again. So, I'm curious how others deal with boaters who come aboard...& stay to hang out to drink & to smell the cedar. LOL

Seriously, I don't want to offend those who visit & in the moment, the temptation is real, but I gotta get cruising, not drinking at the dock! :-)

Anyone else have this problem?


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It's about and your rules. Don't be afraid of asking, telling, someone not to come aboard with booze. If you can't turn down booze? I am not an expert on that.



















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[Bikini Blues]

Hey !! I hate to break the thread line but I need some help with the website please. I tried to contribute but it only uses paypal and I will never again give them my c/c nbr. I'm trying to start a new thread with some questions I have about refueling at sea? I don't see a "new thread" icon?

[Seaworthy Lass]

Originally Posted by Bikini Blues

Hey !! I hate to break the thread line but I need some help with the website please. I tried to contribute but it only uses paypal and I will never again give them my c/c nbr. I'm trying to start a new thread with some questions I have about refueling at sea? I don't see a "new thread" icon?

Just select the sub forum applicable from the "Forums" menu and click on the "New Thread" icon at the top left.

SWL

[ArmyDaveNY]

As a fellow boater and potential boating friend, I'd be very happy to tie up in the next slip and "assist" you with the excess libations! It sounds like a nice problem to have. I would take what I am comfortable with, thank those who bring excess and take a rain check. Oh yes, enjoy the company. Perhaps they can bring some snacks in lieu of the excess drinks.

[BandB]

One more if you prefer lying your way out...I'm on a medication that doesn't allow me to drink at this time.

Real test for you. Say no to them all for a night. Once you say yes to one you're caught. Oh and if you can't say no to it for a night, then you've got a problem. Don't blame getting drunk on others. But then you know you have a problem or you wouldn't be posting it here. So correct the problem.

Now, that said, one of the few things I dislike about boating and docks is the prevalence of alcohol and the practice called sundowning where so many boaters feel every evening calls for a few drinks. We drink occasionally but not daily cocktails. Generally a special occasion. Among other things we don't operate our boat after drinking the night before. I don't drive a car if I've been drinking the night before. Some of the docks are like one big floating cocktail party that continues all night.

You don't want a drink, then you owe no one an apology. Pick up your bottle of water you keep handy. Say, I'm having this tonight and if they push then they're being rude, not you in sticking to water. Don't feel pressured and most of all, just don't do it.

You will seldom see me without a bottle of water in my hand or near by. It's my drink of choice. It's all I drink most days. Have that bottle of water and easy to say, I've already got my drink, thank you.

Along the line of Ann's comment. Hope none of you guys think strippers are actually consuming alcohol when you buy them a drink. Strip clubs have non-alcoholic equivalents of everything. And if they share a bottle of champagne, you won't catch it, but they'll consume very little of it. So if you thought paying $15-20 for their favorite mixed drink was bad, now you know...it's just juice. Although some are actually quite good. My wife and I will go to a strip club where one friend works and another once did and is legendary. We'll order "stripper's drinks" when we go.

[JPA Cate]

We've met a lot of people over the years who are quite comfortable with not taking alcohol when it is around them. Sometimes, yes, like a glass of wine, others, "no thanks", and, since we don't carry soft drinks, I offer water with a slice of lemon or lime. They seem content.

I really think the "Thanks very much, can I have a rain check?" sort of approach very valid. You want to acknowledge their hospitality, and you have your own limits. "No, thank you, I don't want any more," should handle it, and if pressed, there is always, "what part of 'no' do you not understand?"

To the OP, if you're having trouble saying "no" to it, maybe take a good close look at yourself, eh? If you don't want the risk of being singlehanded and discoordinated, it should become easier to refuse what you don't want. But if you still want it after you think you've had enough, then that can be a warning sign of a problem developing.

Ann