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Old 18-01-2014, 21:37   #1
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Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

I was reading Kenomac's thread re "what you enjoy most about cruising" or something and I noticed that a LOT of people really like the social aspect. Me? I (and my husband) I cruise to get AWAY from people. Anyone else?

I guess I'm shy? I don't dislike people, it's just that my stomach goes in knots when I meet them. I would do anything to help anyone, or volunteer my husband it's just that I prefer to not group up like most cruisers.

I hate pot lucks, raft ups, get togethers, volley ball ( well not really I like playing sports but not watching them) buddy boating, that weird domino game, weather lectures etc. I find people interesting on a one to one basis, ( unless they are boring) but it tires me out and leaves me worried if I was "ok".

Am I, and my husband, so very very different in a lifestyle that is different to begin with? There must be other shy cruisers out there? I can't be the only one that doesn't ramble on about making instant friends or a zillion of them.

Just curious.
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Old 18-01-2014, 22:02   #2
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Don't have to be a cruiser to be that way and I certainly can relate to your comments.
We do quite a bit of travelling with our Caravan as well and find it nearly impossible to be alone similar to anchoring in a large bay alone and the next boat will just about anchor over yours.Caravan seems to be the same find an out of the way place by a river or creek with acres of room and someone will park on top of you.
I always say if I wanted all that people inter reaction I would spend my time in the food court at a big shopping centre(Mall)
Chris
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Old 18-01-2014, 22:02   #3
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Nope, you're not alone.
I'm not a big fan of potlucks, which seem to me to turn into a cooking contest. Don't want to raft up to some strangers boat, don't like to buddy boat either. Why worry about two boats instead of just one?
I don't mind a game of volleyball as long as it's not too organized. Weather lectures, etc. are ok with me if I'm interested in the subject matter

Perhaps I'm not as shy as you, it's the uber organization that seems to turn me off. I never have been particularly adept at meeting largish groups of strangers. I enjoy meeting people in small groups, one or two boats worth at a time are fine with me. The folks who want to congregate in large groups probably don't notice my absence anyway.
Different strokes for different folks, there's room for all of us.
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Old 18-01-2014, 22:03   #4
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Yes. Me too.
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Old 18-01-2014, 22:18   #5
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Hey I kinda figured you guys were out there, I feel better weirdly.
Anchoring out is great, needless to say you'll always find me anchored off on the fringes. Marinas are the WORST for me. One place I stayed at for the hurricane season had a very active "tiki" hut aka the "gauntlet" which I had to pass thru numerous times. How many thousands of times in how many ways can you say "hi, how at you?" Ask me, I know. My favorite marina was suzannas in rio dulce.. Half empty, rickety docks, tucked away, no group singing nights, loved it.
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Old 18-01-2014, 22:21   #6
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

I prefer smaller groups over larger ones. Jim's the really gregarious one. Generally, he is my "meeter". I get introduced when/if I happen to be there after he's vetted them. Dock conversations may happen without introductions.

Potlucks are okay. Not raft-ups, that's for the yacht club guys; but I'd allow a close friend to raft up under special circumstances. Once we rafted up with a tri, and the resulting damage to our boat took many weekends to repair.... Mostly, we avoid them; but twice in the last 27 yrs., we have rafted up, but not overnight.

P.S. Terminalcitygirl: did you put an offer on a boat?

Ann
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Old 18-01-2014, 22:21   #7
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

I am not shy. I just prefer nature and solitude. I would rather talk to cruisers than dirt people, one on one preferably.
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Old 18-01-2014, 22:37   #8
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Hi Ann, we didn't get to Seattle. Our kitty deteriorated rapidly that week, had her at the vet Saturday instead. She gave her an antibiotic shot as a last resort and after a few days she started eating again. I don't think it will be much longer though. Things are pretty hard around here right now so boat shopping will have to wait a bit longer. I did have a great correspondence with the builder via email though!

Apologies for the thread drift friends!
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Old 19-01-2014, 00:20   #9
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Quote:
Originally Posted by haw1961 View Post
I am not shy. I just prefer nature and solitude. I would rather talk to cruisers than dirt people, one on one preferably.
That would be the same for us…..
We don’t cruise in well travelled places, so rarely share an anchorage.
If we do see another boat at anchor, usually a friendly wave from the tender and let them make the first move
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Old 19-01-2014, 01:26   #10
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Wow, and here was me thinking we were the only ones who thought that way about the meet ups!

We are very happy sitting on our boat or going for a walk together on our own, we are friendly people, don't get me wrong. I guess we have both had jobs before living onboard that required a constant "front" when meeting people that gets very tiring! That is one of the main reasons we moved onboard- to get some peace and quiet to be ourselves, which has worked out well for us both.

The constant parties and get togethers just leave me cold I am afraid. But we do meet interesting and genuine people along the way. They tend to be the ones you stay in touch with. Its all about quality not quantity with us! I think that if you are following your heart , and living the life you want, not the one that others want you to lead; you will find like minded people along the way.

Thank you for starting this thread, we were talking about this exact subject the other day as another organised party was kicking off and thinking "is it us?"

Charlie
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Old 19-01-2014, 04:35   #11
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

it is sad how the face of cruising has changed over the last 30 years,to the realm of exclusive "checkbook" cruisers,who with the aid of the internet are no longer reliant on other cruisers for the transfere of current local information,at happy hour or potlucks,or other social gatherings for example.

perhaps had the couple that were assulted,and the husband killed,taken the time to mingle with "local cruisers",instead of their "arc"conterparts,in their neat insulated bubble,they would have been advised to stay well clear of vieux fort,a well know clearing house for gangs that operate bringing drugs from st.vincent.

i'm all for the interdependence in the yachting community,and despise this exclsivity amongst the new breed of well heeled sailors that bring their suburban habits to the world of cruising.
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Old 19-01-2014, 04:41   #12
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

I always prefer to stay away from crowds. Have done lots of retail sales and fronted bands and done solo work so I know what "showtime mode" is and have no shyness, or if I do, it's hidden behind a big facade of smartarse.

Alaways sailed in the week to get away from the masses and tend to go out in the country not the city for the same reason.

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Old 19-01-2014, 04:46   #13
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Wow Atoll what an offensive thing to say. So because I'm shy, and always have been, I'm a checkbook cruiser? And would deserve to die like that poor cruiser in st Lucia.? It's horrible people like you that make me more afraid to hang out with lovely potluckers like yourself!
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Old 19-01-2014, 04:52   #14
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

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Wow Atoll what an offensive thing to say. So because I'm shy, and always have been, I'm a checkbook cruiser? And would deserve to die like that poor cruiser in st Lucia.? It's horrible people like you that make me more afraid to hang out with lovely potluckers like yourself!
it was not meant to be offensive,meerly a reflection of somebody that has spent a lifetime traveling the globe,if you don't interact with your fellow cruisers you run the risk of not becoming "streetwise" to the locale.
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Old 19-01-2014, 04:55   #15
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

+1

Its not the potlucks etc in themselves that are the problem its the yachtie politics around them that are , imho.

I have lived and sailed onboard for 45 years , so am not a city bubble boy believe me.

I think that the crowd round the potlucks have changed in the last 30 years to a more controlling and show off sort. I used to enjoy the cruising get togethers, but have noticed now that they all seem to be about "look at me " types. Life's too short .....

C.
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