Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

[sailorchic34]

I'm firmly in the very shy / loner type. Luckily there are all types of cruisers out there so for the folks that like potlucks etc., I'm happy for them.

But its so not my cup of tea.. I avoid crowds, be it pot lucks, parties or anchorages like the plague. I've never been in a yacht club and quite happy for that too. More then 4-6 people and it sets me on edge. Plus I don't really drink other then tea and water. Much happier just being out alone in a quiet anchorage somewhere.

[markpierce]

Having a few friends and new acquaintances onboard (most of whom are out of sight in this photo) on occasion is fine with us.

[socaldmax]

Originally Posted by GILow

Wow, thank you for that free psychoanalysis. It saved a fortune I might have paid to my shrink to reach a better understanding of my inner insecurities.

Matt

You're welcome.

Based on what you posted, that's how it came across. I wasn't there, so you obviously have more insight than I as to how they behaved. Were they acting pretentious? Did they dress like Mr. and Mrs. Thurston Howell III?

I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt. If I show up at a party and the host had it catered, perhaps they did it to help a friend's catering business (I've done that a couple of times) or perhaps the hosts really can't make appetizers to save their souls (my sister took about 15 yrs to learn to make anything.) So there could be any number of innocent reasons why they hired caterers, not the least of which is they were hoping to get great food for their guests.

My ex-GF loved to decorate the place for parties. Whatever the theme (luau, halloween, Easter, Christmas) she went all out on the decorations. I personally wouldn't have spent so much on decorations, but I went along to keep peace. She felt it made it more festive, and loved it when people complimented her on her efforts. I concentrated on the BBQ, I never wanted to serve anything burnt, under cooked or tasteless. To me, it is my way of showing that I care about my guests, I want them to really enjoy themselves, and that includes the best food I can serve. Not in a competitive way, but simply as a desire to share good food and good times with good company.

[terminalcitygrl]

Alcohol consumption (or lack thereof) seems to be an emerging theme in this thread. Us quiet folks tend to imbibe very moderately or not at all it seems. That makes sense. I don't suffer drunk people very well. Elevated voices, music and ******** tend to rise with the amount consumed. IME.

[Jim Cate]

G'Day all,

I'm having a hard time understanding what this is all about! I've been cruising a long time and have seen some changes in the demography. I've been to a few potlucks, enjoyed some, left early from others, failed to show up at some... it's part of the freedom of the cruising life, doin' what you want when you want (weather driven decisions excluded from this generalization). That aspect hasn't changed, at least for Ann and I.

I've never felt pressured to attend any function. On the other hand,I have gone around an anchorage with a few boats bobbing about and suggested everyone might enjoy a sundowner or a cuppa on our boat... a good way to meet your neighbors. Doesn't mean that you are marrying them, or will ever see them again, but has started up a few long term friendships. Drunks are not welcome, but a glass of wine doesn't always lead to drunkeness. Non alcoholic drinks are available and don't lead to derision on our boat.

Highly organized events, be they rallies, potlucks or raftups, are not on my do-list. When invited, I simply decline... no explanation required. And in our cruising grounds (SW Pacific) the anchorages are generally not so crowded that one can't escape crowding. Urban areas (Broken Bay, Noumea, Port Vila etc) are by nature crowded, but one can easily escape them once chores and provisioning are done. Hundreds of anchorages beckon on the horizon!

So, for the shy, the anti-social, the loners, and others who don't want to get involved in group activities, it seems pretty easy to avoid them, and to do so without offending anyone... that's why this thread seems strange to me! I just might invite you to a potluck, or more likely to a visit on our boat, but I will not be armed when I do so, and will honour your desire to remain isolated.

Cheers,

Jim

[Svdestiny]

Originally Posted by Jim Cate

G'Day all,

I'm having a hard time understanding what this is all about! I've been cruising a long time and have seen some changes in the demography. I've been to a few potlucks, enjoyed some, left early from others, failed to show up at some... it's part of the freedom of the cruising life, doin' what you want when you want (weather driven decisions excluded from this generalization). That aspect hasn't changed, at least for Ann and I.

I've never felt pressured to attend any function. On the other hand,I have gone around an anchorage with a few boats bobbing about and suggested everyone might enjoy a sundowner or a cuppa on our boat... a good way to meet your neighbors. Doesn't mean that you are marrying them, or will ever see them again, but has started up a few long term friendships. Drunks are not welcome, but a glass of wine doesn't always lead to drunkeness. Non alcoholic drinks are available and don't lead to derision on our boat.

Highly organized events, be they rallies, potlucks or raftups, are not on my do-list. When invited, I simply decline... no explanation required. And in our cruising grounds (SW Pacific) the anchorages are generally not so crowded that one can't escape crowding. Urban areas (Broken Bay, Noumea, Port Vila etc) are by nature crowded, but one can easily escape them once chores and provisioning are done. Hundreds of anchorages beckon on the horizon!

So, for the shy, the anti-social, the loners, and others who don't want to get involved in group activities, it seems pretty easy to avoid them, and to do so without offending anyone... that's why this thread seems strange to me! I just might invite you to a potluck, or more likely to a visit on our boat, but I will not be armed when I do so, and will honour your desire to remain isolated.

Cheers,

Jim

What it's all about is that I was curious if there were shy cruisers out there, just my shy way of connecting with people of like temperament on a night with not much to do. And I was just trying to be a bit funny( which doesn't work obviously...my husband said my humor doesn't work south of the mason-Dixon line!). I actually like people, a little too much maybe, it's just that it's hard for me to connect, especially in a group settings.

Outgoing extroverts can't fathom it, but I'm shy, not antisocial!! Thin skinned,yes and shocked at how some people get angry around this topic. It's not a gun thread for gods sake. It's just that the people you Meet when out there ARE important, it's just harder for shy folks to make that personal connection.

So, to me, this is about fear, a fear as real as the fear of storms, reefs, financial emergencies, health emergencies, systems failures And I like to be prepared!

[Sulaire]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

What it's all about is that I was curious if there were shy cruisers out there, just my shy way of connecting with people of like temperament on a night with not much to do. And I was just trying to be a bit funny( which doesn't work obviously...my husband said my humor doesn't work south of the mason-Dixon line!). I actually like people, a little too much maybe, it's just that it's hard for me to connect, especially in a group settings.



Outgoing extroverts can't fathom it, but I'm shy, not antisocial!! Thin skinned,yes and shocked at how some people get angry around this topic. It's not a gun thread for gods sake. It's just that the people you Meet when out there ARE important, it's just harder for shy folks to make that personal connection.



So, to me, this is about fear, a fear as real as the fear of storms, reefs, financial emergencies, health emergencies, systems failures And I like to be prepared!

+1 , you are not alone.

[Svdestiny]

I should design a shy flag

[Sulaire]

Thats a great idea , would save all the hassle! Put me down for one!

[GILow]

I can see a little cluster of them now. All anchored a respectful distance from one another with a steady stream of dinks running between them.

[Svdestiny]

Originally Posted by GILow

I can see a little cluster of them now. All anchored a respectful distance from one another with a steady stream of dinks running between them.

Now THAT is funny!

[Svdestiny]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

I should design a shy flag

Can't come up with a good one.... Pirates and gays def have the best.

[Jim Cate]

Originally Posted by Svdestiny

Can't come up with a good one.... Pirates and gays def have the best.

So, it's time for some design fusion: a shy, gay pirate flag???

Jim

[Sulaire]

Originally Posted by GILow

I can see a little cluster of them now. All anchored a respectful distance from one another with a steady stream of dinks running between them.

Sounds idylic to me !

And for a flag design hows about a flag with one word on it - RESPECT - Aretha would aprove i am sure.

C.

[atoll]

Originally Posted by GILow

I can see a little cluster of them now. All anchored a respectful distance from one another with a steady stream of dinks running between them.

like a trailor park