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Old 24-01-2014, 14:37   #211
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

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Do the shy or introverted post on forums?

You're kidding of course. The internet is the perfect place for them to become bad asses!
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Old 24-01-2014, 15:12   #212
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pirate Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

This badass had to look up "dogging" along with Mrs B.

SC, you don't need to know. Good call.
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Old 24-01-2014, 16:24   #213
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

I'm definitely with those here who have zero interest in gathering in groups to watch each other eat. No interest in volleyball. I am not going to raft up and not going to wait until there is a "group" together to cross the Gulf Stream, Mona Passage, or the river. And I am NOT going to leave my radio on at night in anchorages in case someone wants to talk. None of these things are why I like being on a boat. Those are the things people who like to live in groups do. Should all pitch in an buy themselves a retired aircraft carrier.
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Old 24-01-2014, 16:49   #214
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

I have mixed feelings here. I have great friends that I've met cruising over the years and I'm thrilled to find them again at a dock or at anchor. Sometimes I've met them where there were groups of people and sometimes at isolated places. I can't draw a line and say that this is right and this is wrong. I do turn off my VHF after anchoring or docking, but I never close off my chance to come across good people!
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Old 24-01-2014, 17:03   #215
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

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Didn't some dead guy once say, "The lady doth protest too much, methinks."
.....

At least the one who was going to claim she was bathing her cat was honest enough to admit no one had invited her to anything in the last 10 yrs. OK, if people have been steering clear of you for 10 yrs, chances are you probably don't have anything to worry about for the next 10 yrs or so.
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..... is. Cat.
Where did this paragraph come from , the little green men !!!!!

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Old 24-01-2014, 17:08   #216
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pirate Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

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Where did this paragraph come from , the little green men !!!!!

Dave
Or..... the little green weed.... said Andy Pandy..
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Old 21-02-2014, 14:55   #217
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

This is a great topic. After managing to read the entire thread, I am convinced that I am one of the extroverts. I am new to the whole cruising thing, and keep my boat in La Paz, BCS. I have found that the people that I have met so far have helped improve my new experience, including those who "live" in the marina. Not all, certainly.

I am the guy who strikes up a conversation with strangers while waiting in line for groceries, or a table in a restaurant, etc. Over the years I have met the nicest people in the most random places this way. I have always respected the rights of others to be left alone. As a new cruiser, I will also respect those rights while anchoring/socializing. And while I enjoy being anchored all alone without other boats around, I also enjoy having sundowners with new friends.

A smile and a wave cost nothing to deliver, and generally prompt one in return. Let's all have fun out there.

Cheers, Bill
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Old 21-02-2014, 15:20   #218
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

You'll do well Bill
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Old 21-02-2014, 19:35   #219
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

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You're kidding of course. The internet is the perfect place for them to become bad asses!
Not all of us are like that. Don't tell anyone though.

Most just get tried of the same conversation over and over again.
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Old 21-02-2014, 20:53   #220
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

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Originally Posted by montenido View Post
.

A smile and a wave cost nothing to deliver, and generally prompt one in return. Let's all have fun out there.

Cheers, Bill
Thank you for that nice post.
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Old 23-02-2014, 22:13   #221
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Anchor where the Wharrams are.
Usually "Pot luck" has a different connotation.
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Old 23-02-2014, 22:47   #222
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Probably none of us are complete loners or complete groupies. We're varying degrees between.

We talk to others but to a couple or family on a single boat, not in some group gathering where everyone tries to yell to be heard. We socialize quietly with friends at the docks some evenings, but we don't head to the nearest bar in the afternoon with the gang. We normally explore the towns and attractions alone and normally eat alone, although some times we'll go with another couple. We like our privacy and respect that of others.

On the other hand we went fishing one day last week while crossing Lake Okeechobee. Now we're not fishermen so went with a guide. Our captains went in another boat unguided. Well, we did well. So we locked out before dark and then docked. There was another boat there and then people just walking by. We had a huge fish fry as we had all these fresh fish. Used the grills in the park. Even a couple of town employees came over.

But we also like to go at our own pace. We often decide our next move only a day in advance. When we go to explore a town we want to feel free to do whatever strikes our fancy. And we don't like pot luck. When we mention a specific restaurant and others like the sound we may invite them to join us. But when we're just somewhere for a couple of nights we don't want to skip the restaurant we chose because others want to go somewhere else.

When we move between locations we normally cruise faster than others would like so we're not a good buddy boat or group cruiser. On the other hand we will say bye and tell others that we'll see them where we're going tonight. But we might get up and leave at 7 and get there by noon and get out and explore and they might prefer to leave at 9 and arrive at 5.

It's quite easy to decline invitations politely. It should also be easy to accept when one declines politely but some people do act like you've mortally wounded them because you don't want to go to Billy Bob's Booze and Wings for happy hour.

We will try to be polite to all those at a marina, but we won't become friends with everyone. On the other hand, we will be good friends with a select few. We aren't huge fans of just building superficial relationships that are truly acquaintances but many call friends. Instead we prefer to build true friendships with a few.

Like everyone we also have our own idiosyncrasies. Respect ours and we'll respect yours. And please if we've just met don't try to delve into our personal lives, our business lives or our finances or ask for our phone number and address and email. We'll share some of that if we become friends. Some we won't share.

We were approached when we arrived at the marina where we are now on Friday by someone whose happy hour obviously started before noon whose first question was "How much did that cost?" referring to the boat. But next, as we'd already gotten off the boat and clearly were headed somewhere, he says, "I'm going to check it out." Now, I was no longer polite at that point and not so nicely made it clear he better not get on our boat. We're clearly leaving and he's going to jump on our boat and check it out uninvited? When we returned a few hours later we found out another couple had found him standing on the bow of their boat.

It's all a matter of respect. Our differences are what make us each unique and special.
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Old 24-02-2014, 05:43   #223
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Like most of you on this thread I like all aspects of cruising. Sometimes we want to walk a beach by ourselves but sometimes we enjoy a pot luck.

Pot lucks or happy hours have given us some stories and once in a while a recipe. One time we went to Hamburger Beach to hear our friend play his guitar. My wife made a couple of dozen deviled eggs. We beached the dink and were bringing the platter of eggs to the table when there was this giant sucking sound and the eggs were gone before the platter made it to the buffet...so it goes. Who knew deviled eggs would be that popular! Maybe we were just late and missed the weed and everyone else just had the munchies. Anyway, it's all fun.

On the other hand we've met cruisers when out for a quiet beach walk and made good friends that we would've missed otherwise. Just give me the opportunity and I'll go cruising, pot lucks, holding tanks, whatever, I'll take it all.
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Old 24-02-2014, 09:16   #224
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

Well said BandB. Sometimes I think folks have forgotten the meaning of boundaries or what politeness means. If I want you at less than arm's length, I'll let you know. If you want to keep me at arm's length not a problem, and I am perceptive enough not to intrude.
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Old 24-02-2014, 18:01   #225
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Re: Shy Cruising or don't invite me to the Potluck :)

I've skimmed through most of this thread, and would like to add a couple of thoughts:

First, being introverted isn't a disease or condition that needs to be cured, it's not the same thing as being "shy," and it's certainly not "anti-social." Some people just don't like crowds. Most people seem to understand that intellectually, but then want to cure it when they see it.

Second, that big massive party on the water - the photo that's appeared multiple times on this thread - would be my personal idea of hell. Any kind of gathering that includes more people than can hold a single conversation is - for me - tiresome. In practice that's four or maybe six people.
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