We used to say that our boat drinks 10, eats 6, sleeps 4. The Holding Pattern Department of the Interior
has revised these statistics...it now sleeps 2.
Both before the trip and upon arrival of company we explained many things about the boat and liveaboard
life, including the head
. You may think you see where this is going, but I guarantee, you have no idea. I will keep the identity if the visitor hidden because my wife would kill me if I disclosed it was the evil stepmother-in-law.
Three somewhat uneventful days go by and everyone goes into town for a walk while I say behind and work on routine filter maintenance
. I hear a low whine and realize the bilge
is running, the engine
had just been on for a few so I pop below to find the cause.
access I need is in the aft cabin
, company's quarters. I move a bag from the floor to the mattress (and in the process have to move a small country's worth of fake nails from the floor) in frustration I just push the rug back so I can have a look-see at the bilge, it is more important than some clothes getting wrinkled.
As I am on my knees peering into the abyss, I notice a pungent smell and realize I am kneeling in water
...only it isn't water
...the visitor has decided that instead of using the head
at night, that a tupperware container would suffice...only it isn't really tupperware, it is Dollar Store brand Tapperwore, and the lid is off and I am swimming in the contents, liquid only, but really...isn't that enough?
I sop up what I can and make so I don't track elsewhere, pull out the Laphroaig 15yr Scotch, take a drink, then another. Call my wife to say we have a problem. The rest is routine cleanup and as the story now goes, I am the Great Satan, second only to Bin Laden in the hierarchy of evil