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Old 30-07-2012, 13:38   #16
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

Trust me, we TOTALLY get it...

When I was 18 and my dad thought that he and I needed to "build a better relationship" he asked me to propose an adventure, anything I wanted, that he and I could do together.

I said "I want us to learn to sail and go around the world."

He looked at me like I was crazy and said "I was thinking more of going camping for the week, honey."

Really, we get it ; -)
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Old 30-07-2012, 13:39   #17
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

Tom;

Go and enjoy the cruise, then really shock them by coming back!
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Old 30-07-2012, 13:54   #18
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

I've got the opposite problem. My mother had a heart bypass and had two very short periods of afib. She is out of it now and the doctor said to get out there and live life. She is too f&%$#@! scared to leave the house, and mad at me because I won't wait on her hand and foot.

Get out there and do it. I'd rather die trying than die having never tried.
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Old 30-07-2012, 14:30   #19
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

FWIW, I had the same heart issue. Dr. recommended an outpatient ablation therapy, essentially where they cauterize some nerve paths between heart chambers to control the excess contraction signals. I've never looked back, 100% cured. Look into the procedure: Catheter Ablation | Conditions & Treatments | UCSF Medical Center

Regardless, I agree with all previous posts: go on your adventure, don't look back
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Old 30-07-2012, 14:45   #20
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

People are afraid of everything. They are afraid that things will change, and are afraid that they will not change. They are afraid of choosing the wrong color socks, the wrong breakfast cereal, or the wrong car.

Help them with their fear. Tell them it's just a hobby (fixing up the boat), that you plan to get lots of training, that you will only travel with professionals, tell them whatever they need to hear. Or tell them the truth. Tell them the truth so openly and so often that after a time they no longer have to be afraid of it.

In any case, keep in mind that they are just afraid for you because they care about you, so this is a great opportunity to show them that you care by addressing their fears.
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Old 30-07-2012, 14:47   #21
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

Quote:
Originally Posted by ohdrinkboy View Post
Get out there and do it. I'd rather die trying than die having never tried.
I was once asked why I wanted to fly an airplane, wasn't that very dangerous.

The reply came to me after only a few seconds hesitation:

"I'd rather be in the front seat of the plane fighting for my life than in the back seat kissing my @ss goodbye"
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Old 30-07-2012, 15:21   #22
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

Hey Tom,

I think the way you expressed things here is 100% clear.

I think you just tell your family what you are going to do and then you may tell them that's what you dreamed about for many years and NOW is the time you are going for it, and that's that.

All the best! Happy sailing!

barnie
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Old 30-07-2012, 15:21   #23
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

not all atrial fib is ablatable. some forms/causes are. if there is a athway track for it, yes is ablatable. if not--if is garden variety afib, NO. cough cpr works, also--if you are weak feeling, cough and convert.
my momma sed she wants to know where her babies are--i bought spot--that stopped that comment--but my momma already knows to not tell me stuff. i will go and do it anyway.
when she thought we werent listening, she told us to play on the freeway--so ultimately i worked as volunteer flags, medical and crew at sports car races..LOL..she LOVED that one.... so now she is happy with me having spot--she will know where to send the divers, as i tell her. she thinks all her kids are nutz....but is all her fault--is her genes with this adventurous spirit...
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Old 30-07-2012, 15:47   #24
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

I'll see you out there. 11 months, My deadline, God help me if I die between now and then, but I'm waiting for final bonus from work. It will give me several years of income, it WOULD be crazy to leave without it.

Everything I have is for sale. I don't even ask what others think anymore. I already feel decades of stress leaving my body at this decision. I may not find paradise out there, but I will give it my best shot.

Mexico was awesome, I wan't to go back for more than a week. Everytime I look out at the ocean, I find it harder to turn around and go back to work.

Next year I hope to meet you out there, How about Angtigua?
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Old 30-07-2012, 16:02   #25
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

Hya Tom

Your post was like reading word for word,my own case, I am 56 with cardiac problems too.
I went through the exact same thing,as i am on my second chance and my third pacemaker in four years.
Some of my family plainly thought i was nuts and said so,and the others kept their opinion to themselves,but had dire reservations about my plans to become a full time cruiser.
My advice to you is to stay the course,and they will come around, and that may happen only after you have proved to be the immoveable mountain on your goal.
Its tough going up against well meaning and loving family,but ya gotta hang in there.
I wish you well Tom.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Stormcrowe View Post
OK, let's start this off. I've had the bug for long distance cruising on a small boat since I was a teenager, and unfortunately, never really had the opportunity because I was "too busy" with life and what happens when I make other plans than what the universe served up. I've had health issues and have really changed a lot of my priorities over the last few years. I'm rehabbing a small pocket cruiser, as some of you know, and as a platform, it's going to be a fairly capable boat, all things considered.

The health issues are cardiac. I have persistent Atrial Fibrillation, which is rarely fatal in and of itself. The highest likelihood is the potential for a thunderclap stroke that will likely kill me before I hit the deck. There are worse ways to go....and this leads me to the crux of this post.


I'm 52 years old, and have been a professional and self supporting since I got out of High School, and have lived and worked in many regions of this planet. Now, I mentioned the idea of long distance sailing to my family, and the idea literally horrified them. They seem to prefer me all wrapped up in bubble wrap, and not taking ANY risks. I have health clearance from my cardiologists, who basically told me, "Yeah, go out and live life!".

What I need are suggestions on just how to tell my family that I'm not a child, and it's my life to live as I choose, and to step off.......without creating a fatal rift. They don't seem to get it that I'd always lived a very active life, and done risky work for a living, and that if it comes down to it, I'd rather die living my dream than to merely "exist", and the risks of this decision and the consequences are mine alone, and they just need to accept it.

I don't have any children, and I have my own money, and even if I kick the bucket, my wife will never have to work a day in her life if she doesn't want to. Oh, I should mention that my wife is fully supportive of this. She's literally the only one, though.

Thoughts? Suggestions?
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Old 30-07-2012, 16:22   #26
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

I wish I had the title.

While I was recovering from colon cancer surgery and confined to my bed in the hospital one of my sailing friends brought in a book that was about just what you are experiencing. Sorry I can't remember the title but maybe there is a way to google search it. Very good book and inspirational.

kind regards,
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Old 30-07-2012, 17:07   #27
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

aMine is the result of an abnormal SA Node rhythm, for an unknown reason, but probably associated with my Lupus. Ablation won't work. I'm controlled with Sotalol, fairly well, though. My main issue is going to be assuring I have a reliable supply of meds....but that's a relatively easy issue today, with the internet and air freight.

Quote:
Originally Posted by zeehag View Post
not all atrial fib is ablatable. some forms/causes are. if there is a athway track for it, yes is ablatable. if not--if is garden variety afib, NO. cough cpr works, also--if you are weak feeling, cough and convert.
my momma sed she wants to know where her babies are--i bought spot--that stopped that comment--but my momma already knows to not tell me stuff. i will go and do it anyway.
when she thought we werent listening, she told us to play on the freeway--so ultimately i worked as volunteer flags, medical and crew at sports car races..LOL..she LOVED that one.... so now she is happy with me having spot--she will know where to send the divers, as i tell her. she thinks all her kids are nutz....but is all her fault--is her genes with this adventurous spirit...
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Old 30-07-2012, 17:54   #28
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

I fought them off when they wanted to oblate, because once its done its done,,and you cant get it back.
I get my meds 90 days at a time, and i gave my daughter my Proxy so she can act on my behalf, she can order my meds as well as pick them up and send them air freight to me wherever i am.
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Old 30-07-2012, 19:45   #29
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

There is a poem I read in high school that, for some reason, I've never forgotten. It goes like this...

If I knew you were dying,
I would have raised your head and said,
"Let me show you Spain".
But now you're gone,
and I'll never have that chance again.

It always reminds me that we are all here for a short time and should live our lives to the fullest. Five minutes before you cast off, email your family a link to this post. They'll see how concerned you were for their approval and, hopefully, they'll understand.

Mike
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Old 30-07-2012, 19:59   #30
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Re: I'm honestlly not sure which forum to put this in, so here goes......

My husband hasn't told anyone that we are learning to sail or planning to sail far and wide in the next few years. He doesn't want to deal with all the judgement and naysaying and guilt tripping that he knows well get. I once told his mom that someday we hoped to buy a little vacation cottage and she was just horrible about it... I can't wait until we tell her our little change in plans...
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