Originally Posted by tropicalescape
I understand everything you are concerned about and I would say you are a little thin skinned and most likely a very decent person that would like to be treated as such..That being said everybody else is not like that or at least not all the time.. You had a run in with a fellow that rubbed you wrong,learn a lesson and move on dont let it bother you and do unto others as you would have done unto you and all should be ok..You keep jumping in the middle of this gang and we all become Captain Bligh ..You learned a valuable lesson(inadvertently) and now its time to move on..
I think this is just about right
Being on board a ship or a yacht is close quarters for long periods on end, and sometimes under considerable stress. It is a particular pressure cooker for human relations.
Successful attitudes for this pressure cooker may be different from what you are used to on land.
A couple of tips:
1. The captain is the boss, not you. And that is a double-edged sword -- it also means that he is responsible, not you. Except in extreme cases, you should not question the orders of the captain. Do what he says and relax -- you are not responsible except to do your jobs.
2. That does not mean that you shouldn't bring up your opinion on what should be done. Different captains have different attitudes about this and maybe under different circumstances, too. I have a lot of experience leading groups of people on land, and my particular style is to discuss, take feedback, and get consensus, but that's not the only way to do it. It's up to the captain to decide, and if he doesn't want your feedback, then keep it to yourself.
3. That applies to everything which goes on on board, including how to dispose of waste and how to maneuver the vessel in a crossing situation with a ship, among many other things. He is responsible for these things, not you.
4. Whatever happens, don't flip the captain any 'tude. Do what he says cheerfully, even if you don't like it. This is essential to the smooth functioning of the voyage. The main thing expected from crew is to pitch
in, work, help out in every way you can think of, and maintain a cheerful attitude even in the face of adversity. Everything else is secondary, even your skills.
To directly answer your question, "What to do about a Bad Captain?" The answer is clear -- do what he says. If you don't like it, then do what he says anyway, but just don't come back on board that vessel again -- you have an absolute right to that. If you don't like it, and it seems to you that he is putting you in actual danger
, then you can jump ship. That's a pretty harsh measure, and may earn you a bad reputation, but if your safety
is at risk, then maybe worth it.
I have had literally dozens of strangers on board my boat as crew. After the first voyage together, I classify them according to several categories: (a) don't invite on board again; (b) ok; (c) great; (d) lifelong friends. So far in all these years, not one single
person has landed in the (a) category -- not one. And very few in the (b) category. This despite the fact that people come in off the street (more exactly, from crew exchange boards in the Internet), and sometimes grossly misrepresent their skills.
I had one guy who claimed to be an ex-racer and great sailor -- he turned out to be a 17 year old boy who knew almost nothing about sailing. Fond of drinking and smoking pot, to boot. But we were stuck together for a week, and I identified a whole list of useful skills, and we ended up getting along just fine. I had to lay down the law about pot and booze, but we worked it out ok. In fact, he joined me for 15 or 20 more trips; he was regular crew until unfortunately he moved to Australia
, and by the end had become an excellent sailor. I have never had a single
bad experience with crew, and have had very many wonderful experiences.
The point is -- human relations on board are different from on land. You can't bitch and moan and complain about things. Accept the things you are not responsible for. Be cheerful at all costs. There is a certain type of person who bubbles with resentment, when put into a situation where he doesn't agree with the leader. This attitude doesn't work at sea. The reason why you got so much negative reaction on here, I think, is because of that. It's not quite seamanlike, to bitch about your captain -- it's a land attitude which doesn't belong at sea in the closed environment
of a vessel at sea.
It doesn't mean that it's ok for the captain to be abusive, if he really was. But the remedy for that is to not go back. Meanwhile, you have to cheerfully do what he says -- that's the way it works.