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Old 16-12-2010, 15:57   #16
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You see kids wearing shirts that say 'No Fear'. That is a gloss, which really means 'I am not playing with a full deck'. Or I'm one short of a six pack, I'm frigging insane, whatever. Fear is a necessary part of the human condition, and generally tells us something needs looking after..............................
MichaelC, I enjoyed reading your observations. I recall when these "No Fear " shirts were popular while I was a High School science teacher. I recall buying my own air brushed shirt from the local mall that said, "Know Fear" and I wore it proudly for a number of years.

Back in 1972, after our first year of live-aboard cruising, I excitedly told Nancie to follow me to the end of the dock so I could show her what our boat would look like some day. She expected to see a classic big beauty, but there was just the rigging stuck out of the water from a sunk ketch. Thirty-eight years ago we accepted the total loss of our boat. It has not happened, but our only concern with fear has been our survival mitigated with reasonable risk management and planning. Sure, when the wind kicks up giving us an extra heel angle or when I think I hear a new sound from the engine, I consider needs for maintenance and safety, but once you accept the potential loss, it's easy to be reasonable.
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Old 16-12-2010, 16:09   #17
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Originally Posted by Unicorn Dreams
A very could reading is by members of CF. I believe should be read by potential cruisera. It would help dispel some of the fears about cruising.

THE TOP TEN CRUISING DISASTERS I WAS AFRAID OF

After my wife read it' you could actually see her relax and just go with the flow..
That's the kind of thinking I like
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Old 16-12-2010, 16:16   #18
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I have been anxious plenty of times in my sailing life, but I have never been truly afraid. I've run plenty of worse case scenarios in my mind so that I had contingencies in place for real emergencies. But fear has never been a problem. All you can do is all you can do, but all you can do usually is enough (as long as you don't do stupid things).

When my daughter went through her white coat ceremony in medical school, the speaker gave a speech that had two points. 1. Don't do stupid things. 2. Never Quit. That pretty much sums up my experience with fear. If I don't do stupid things and I never quit, things have a way of working out. I don't need to fear as long as I'm not doing stupid things and I don't quit when things hit the fan.

We are living in the twentieth century, and we have more resources available to help us get out of trouble than at any other time in history.

The secret to living my dreams is that I always have to say yes to life and act like my dreams are possible no matter what is happening. Fear is bad when it immobilizes and stops me from acting in a positive manner.

http://positivegraphics.com/images/f...coward-788.jpg

An ounce of action is more powerful than a megaton of fear.

An ounce of positive action is more powerful than a megaton of fear.
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Old 16-12-2010, 20:14   #19
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What? Me worry?

I'm really worried someone will buy the boat I have my eye on down in Florida.

Now THAT is fear!
Yup, fear that! It could be me.. which one are you looking at? It might already be gone.

Here's an interesting story I heard about a policeman the other day.. stopped a person in a car who said they had a weapon in the cubby.. asked if they had a concealed carry permit (easy to get in our state and many others here in the states) and he replied "yes..." officer asks any other concealed weapons? reply: "another under the seat and one on the back seat under the pack, another in the trunk, one in my belt." Officer asks... what are you afraid of? reply... "NOTHING!"
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Old 16-12-2010, 20:32   #20
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Old 16-12-2010, 20:39   #21
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I was reading some sailing blogs the other day when reading one couple who sailed for a few months and she metioned that her chronic fear kept her from enjoying the trip. It was then I realized I also had this problem. I was always worrying about what could go wrong while sailing to the point I could not enjoy myself and I hated it. I want to relax on the water not worry. We all read the occasional horror story of what went wrong and this reinforces our own fears. I think a healthy respect and a little fear is OK but not to the point of ruining the moment.
You just need a good case of apathy!
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Old 16-12-2010, 20:42   #22
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I have developed fears right at the dock repairing this and reinforcing that that I never had in smaller boats. We took the termites and the boat out for a shakedown two days ago (our first sail on her in a year!) and I felt the "preparing for the worst" refurb mentality that had begun to weigh me down really badly just melt away in the course of the afternoon and it felt like I was on a different boat... one I really liked and trusted and I remembered that while I don't have a huge knack for repairs I've got a pretty deep intuitive feel for sailing.
Whats the old saw ... being in port rots ships and men.
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Old 16-12-2010, 20:45   #23
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Whats the old saw ... being in port rots ships and men.

definitely does.
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Old 16-12-2010, 20:57   #24
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Wow, what a great thread. I worry about being too old to handle the sails. I'll have to bring along some youngins THE TOP TEN CRUISING DISASTERS I WAS AFRAID OF was very comforting.
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Old 16-12-2010, 20:59   #25
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The best cure for fear on the 'Big Blue Water' is training, education and progressive experience.
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Old 16-12-2010, 21:39   #26
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False
Evidence
Appearing
Real

That is irrational fear.

I have been in a number of "situations" on the water and climbing/spelunking.

There was no paralyzing fear.....but in the aftermath is when it hits me.
That's when the knees and hands shake....the brain races.

Another sea story emerges
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Old 16-12-2010, 22:05   #27
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Originally Posted by Unicorn Dreams View Post
A very could reading is by members of CF. I believe should be read by potential cruisera. It would help dispel some of the fears about cruising.

THE TOP TEN CRUISING DISASTERS I WAS AFRAID OF

After my wife read it' you could actually see her relax and just go with the flow..
I would add one more item to that list that bothers my wife more than me, and that's "Dying At Sea". I've been around the ocean almost all my life, and when I was a kid the ocean and beach was our play ground. I learned what I could and could not do with respect to the ocean, and learned when trouble was coming my way. My wife on the other hand didn't have that up bringing, so the ocean is a little spooky to her still...especially at night. She loves roller coasters (the scarier the better), and sky dived a couple times, but dying at sea is a fate worse than death to her. She knows I'm very comfortable on the ocean, and I tell her there is no reason to be concerned until I get concerned...but that doesn't always instill confidence in her...lol
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Old 17-12-2010, 04:39   #28
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Though Eugene O Neill is better known as a playwrite, his poem, Free, ends with the following lines that encourage cruisers to to focus on the joy of the adventure more than the care of the vessel.

Then it's ho! for the plunging deck of a bark, and the hoarse song of the crew,
With never a thought of those we left or what we are going to do;
Nor heed the old ship's burning, but break the shackles of care
And at last be free, on the open sea, with the trade wind in our hair.

Now, clearly, I'm am of a mind set to heed any burning of the ship! Still, I like the spirit of the poem and the importance of "breaking the shackles of care"!
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Old 17-12-2010, 04:48   #29
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I would add one more item to that list that bothers my wife more than me, and that's "Dying At Sea". I've been around the ocean almost all my life, and when I was a kid the ocean and beach was our play ground. I learned what I could and could not do with respect to the ocean, and learned when trouble was coming my way. My wife on the other hand didn't have that up bringing, so the ocean is a little spooky to her still...especially at night. She loves roller coasters (the scarier the better), and sky dived a couple times, but dying at sea is a fate worse than death to her. She knows I'm very comfortable on the ocean, and I tell her there is no reason to be concerned until I get concerned...but that doesn't always instill confidence in her...lol
Ahhhh come on man.... look on the bright side... you'll save a fortune in funerals..
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Old 17-12-2010, 06:58   #30
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I feel a great amount of fear is media driven. And that includes this site where we talk alot of "fear" things. With the speed of the internet, news shows etc, and the fact that fear sells we hear a disproportional amount of this. This isn't sailing/boating special. Remember numbers suggest sailing is safer than golf but you don't see people beingso worried about out on the golf course.

If you search CF you can find various threads that asked for people to post about the good things in boating. These normally make it to maybe 10 replies, which would suggest there are more bad/fear days than good/joy days.

Yet in my lowly 3 years of sailing I never have had a bad/fear day. This includes the day I went aground, ran out of fuel during a gale, drug anchor in a gale, had the furling line break in rough conditions, get caught is a seaway in steep seas and high wind. All these were tense and worrisome, but I don't consider them fear or bad days, just not nice days.

So - Don't Worry Be Happy, just be smart about it.
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